Healing Marks
by financebabe
Summary: When Stephanie is near her breaking point an unexpected MM steps in to offer her support and love showing her the outward appearance has little to do with the heart.
1. So it Begins

None of the characters in this story belong to me. My thanks go to JE for providing such rich people to work with.

Many thanks to Jenn/perfectmanhattan for her skillful Beta work.

**Chapter 1 – So it Begins**

"Thanks for lunch, guys," I said to Les and Bobby as we walked out of Pino's. I had a skip get the better of me on Stark Street and during my pursuit something happened to my car. The good news is my car did not blow up; the bad news is that while I was busy chasing him through the back alleys someone decided to relieve it of the two front tires and the distributor cap so driving away on my own was not an option.

I sat in it for a nearly an hour grumbling internally when the guys pulled in behind me. They saw that my tracker hadn't moved in a long time and thought they would swing by since they were "in the neighborhood." Yea, right. In the neighborhood probably meant they were alerted to a possible problem with Bombshell and came to bail me out of trouble yet again.

Still, I had no other way to get home since a membership in an auto club wasn't in my budget. Of course, if I didn't catch a skip soon rent wasn't going to be in my budget either. Bobby called Al to pick up my less than glamorous Honda Fit and Les hit a home run by suggesting lunch. If I mooched lunch off the guys and hit my parents for dinner I wouldn't have to worry about my lack of food in the apartment until tomorrow.

"Where should we drop you?" Les asked.

Sighing, I decided it would be a big help if they could take me to the Burg to borrow Big Blue from Grandma Mazur. I hated the Buick, but I had no other option at the moment.

"You know, if you'd take Ranger up on his job offer and come to work at RangeMan, you could go home with us to an apartment on four, and you would only need to make a requisition for a new vehicle because the fleet would be at your disposal," Bobby teased.

It was true the last couple of months Ranger had spent a lot of time trying to get me to come to work full time at RangeMan. He had offered virtually every possible scenario to insure me a steady income and security. He even put it in writing before he had to go in the wind. Unfortunately he left last week and from the sound of what he and Tank said I didn't expect to see Ranger again for close to a year.

I was on my own, but it was of my choosing. I know it frustrated the guys that I wouldn't agree to do more than part time searches a couple of days a week. I think they all considered me part of the team and thought it only made sense to make it official.

I remember the day I was about to give in and even made it as far as the break room in telling that to Ranger. I walked out with a bottle of water and went to put my purse away in my desk before telling him the good news when I heard a couple of contract workers talking assuming I was too far gone to hear them.

"Who was that?" the blond haired guy asked.

"That is Miss Stephanie Plum, otherwise known as the Bombshell Bounty Hunter and the Boss' Woman," the no haired guy replied.

"Whew, I would have like to have talked to her, but watching her leave gave me the best view I've seen all day," Blondie pigishly answered.

"You better rein that in, man. Word is Ranger considers that his and spends who knows how much money keeping her around." Baldie explained.

"What does she do?" Blond guy wondered.

"Officially she does searches a few days a week, but unofficially I think that is just a cover for her other duties for the boss," Bald man said followed by the sound of laughter.

"I mean, she may be pretty but there must be a lot more to her if he's willing to associate his name with all the bad press she brings. I can't imagine what she gives him in return." After that statement I soon heart more chuckles.

I tightened the grip on my purse and headed back for the elevator barely getting out of the building before my composure dropped. I was not Ranger's whore and couldn't stand the idea of people thinking so. The worst part was that I would probably give Ranger anything he wanted in a relationship, but he maintained that it wasn't possible for us, at least not now. Whatever that meant…I can't live for someday, but right now someday's all I've got going for me.

After hearing their conversation I decided that I couldn't work for Ranger. He was the one person that had always believed in me and supported me. I couldn't embarrass him by dragging the company he worked so hard to build through the mud. Remembering the that day only affirmed my decision to limit the work I did for RangeMan.

"Thanks for the offer," I finally responded to Bobby pulling myself from my musings, "But I better pick up my wheels at my parent's house."

They dropped me off but as I was getting out of the car Les grabbed my elbow and said, "Can I see your phone?"

Confused I unclipped it from my purse and handed it to him.

He opened it and pretended to check it out before smiling, "Oh good, it works!" He sarcastically explained. Then Les proceeded to program a number in before handing it back to me.

In response to my puzzled expression he said, "I put my number in so you know who to call instead of sitting in your car so long the next time."

They drove off before I could say thank you. I flipped it open and saw a new entry for a local phone number under the name Sexiest Man. At least they were good for a smile.

I mustered up my courage and rang the bell at my parent's house, relieved when Grandma Mazur answered the door in lieu of my mother.

I told her about my car and asked to borrow the Buick which she was more than glad to lend to me. Fortunately my mother was out with my dad so I didn't have to listen to her rant about my job and how she didn't understand why I couldn't settle down and give it up. Unfortunately, if she wasn't here I couldn't really hang around waiting for dinner. I would have to go home and skip it tonight.

By the time I got home I was pretty tired so I figured I'd turn in early and miss the hunger. Tomorrow was a new day and I was determined to catch a skip. Hey, I was trying out the power of positive thinking. So far it hadn't done much but I was definitely at that grasping-for-straws phase of my life.

Five hours later I was awakened by an annoying ringing. I threw my alarm clock against the wall which did nothing to stop it. I finally pulled myself up enough to realize it was my phone ringing.

I answered with a groggy, "Hello," while allowing it to register that it was 9:30 at night. I had no right to be upset with the caller; young people didn't normally hit the sack this early.

"Bomber?" Came a confused voice indicating it was one of the Merry Men.

I shook my head to try and clear the cobwebs and replied, "Yes…"

"Sorry Steph, I didn't mean to interrupt, this is Woody," The caller continued giving me the hint of his southern accent that identified him for me.

"Hey Woody, what can I do for you?" I wondered. He never called.

"Well, Tank asked me to call to see if there was anyway possible you could do a distraction for us tonight?" He answered.

Hmmm, I didn't want to do anything other than the occasional day of searches, but distractions usually went well for me and it would be helping them out so I didn't think there was a great risk of embarrassing the company over it.

"When do you need me?" I asked.

"That's the problem, the skip just entered the biker bar Good Times on 3rd Street. The sooner the better, we've been trying to get a bead on this guy for weeks and the bond expires tomorrow. How soon can you be ready?" He explained.

I could skip a shower and Good Times wasn't known for their impressive clientele so I could probably throw together a miracle in twenty minutes. "Can you have someone pick me up at 9:50?" I offered.

"Perfect, Hal will be in the lot waiting on you as soon as you're ready." He replied before hanging up.

I jumped up and threw together a denim mini-skirt that only a junior high school student should be wearing and coupled it with a halter top that appeared to be made out of a red bandana. I pulled up some of my hair leaving the rest to fall down haphazardly. I figured most bikers couldn't spend a lot of time on their hair with the helmet crushing it so they shouldn't spend too much time judging me for mine. I went with bright red lipstick with the color name Sin and splurged on five coats of mascara. I slipped into my knee high shiny black boots with four inch stilettos and sashayed down to a nervous looking Hal right outside my front door.

A glance at the clock in the car told me this was my night. I asked for twenty minutes but only took fifteen.

Ten minutes later we were at the edge of the parking lot where Tank was giving me the history of the skip. "We need you to bring out a guy named Charlie Haughton. He was an attorney but got hooked on drugs and has spiraled out of control. The list of charges on this guy makes it impossible to believe he got bonded out, but we stand to make a pretty penny if we can bring him back in."

They showed me a picture of a sweaty looking guy in need of a shave and a gym. The size of his belly alone made it difficult for me to picture him riding a bike, at least not one without reinforced shocks.

Junior gave me a wire and seemed anxious about what to do next.

"Relax," I assured him. "I can do this part myself."

I pulled up the scrap of material in the front and taped the wire under my left breast before turning around and asking, "Does it show?"

I internally smiled at the reaction. No one wanted to be caught looking directly at my chest so there were coughs, a few blushes, and poor Hal had completely turned around.

Les finally came to my rescue in his typical manner. "From here I don't see a thing, but if you want a full uniform inspection I'll be happy to oblige."

Tank brought us back to the matter at hand. "No one is behind the bar, we didn't have enough time to stage this the way us usually do, so whatever you order to drink, be sure you take it easy."

Honestly, I have done this before, I don't need that kind of instruction.

"Bobby is inside and will point out the skip if you have any trouble. We will be here, split between the exits so we can take him down no matter where you bring him out.

I nodded that I understood and made my way into Good Times.

Before the door closed behind me I was nearly undone by the thick amount of smoke. I assumed it was cigarettes, but there was a small menu available from the bar, so the kitchen could be equally to blame. I was new so I garnered a lot of attention when I first sat down at the bar. Unfortunately, none of it was from Haughton.

The bartender eventually made his way over to me and stood there waiting for an order. I realized my first problem of the evening – I hadn't brought any cash in with me to buy a drink. Normally, it isn't an issue because RangeMan has someone behind the bar, or I get the skip to pay for my drink, but I hadn't gotten that far in my plan. Quickly looking around I saw Bobby playing pool at the table closest to the bar. I shook my head no to the bartender and he lumbered off without a word.

I tried to get as much swing in my walk as possible without risking an early hip replacement and leaned against the pool table Bobby was staking out. I noticed that Haughton was drinking beer from a pitcher at the small table behind us.

In a slightly loud voice I said, "I have problem I'm hoping you can help with."

Playing along Bobby replied, "Oh yea, what is that?"

"I'm really thirsty, but I managed to come in without any money and wondered if I could play you a game of pool for a beer?" I teased.

The guys all knew I could play pool, but more importantly they knew I could play the skip if I had a cue in my hands and a reason to bend over.

Bobby acted uninterested and said, "I'll play you in pool but I'm not giving you a drink until I see how good you are."

I took my chance to say, "Honey don't flatter yourself, I usually want a little more in a man. Tonight I'm just after a good time and you seemed to be the only one looking."

The corners of his mouth twitched, but Bobby maintained control of his blank face when he handed me a cue and instructed me to break.

I took my time eyeing the table before I intentionally over bent to line up my shot. I knew I had him when I heard a "Good Lord" mumbled behind me just as the stick knocked the ball into the right corner pocket.

One more ball in a pocket and Haughton came to me with a glass of questionable cleanliness and said, "Honey, I'd be glad to offer you a beer and anything else you want tonight."

I had to bite my tongue to keep from yelling when he touched my arm but I smiled and accepted his drink instead. I sat it on the edge of the pool table and asked, "Would one of those bikes outside be yours by any chance?"

"The hog right outside the door is all me. Do you need a ride somewhere?" Charlie offered.

I put my hand on his and said, "Follow me, you look exactly like what I'm looking for tonight."

Two steps from the door and Tank stepped out to cuff Haughton. My work was done. Unfortunately my night wasn't nearly over.

Hal brought me back home and my stomach growled just as we were pulling up to my apartment. "Do you need me to pick up something for you to eat?" He offered.

"No thanks," I lied hoping he wouldn't press the issue.

"I saw Morelli's car in the lot, do you need me to come up?" Hal asked me

"Shit!" I let that one slip getting me Hal's full attention. I rarely swore, at least I didn't think I did. I thought the words but tried really hard to keep it from going public.

"No," I quickly added. "I didn't want to see him tonight, but he's harmless. We're just currently disagreeing over our status. I claim we are through forever, and he thinks we are one night from being engaged." The explanation made sense to me, but it had obviously not been as clear to Hal. I waved him off and told him goodnight.

I tried to pull on my skirt hoping for a miracle that it would stretch by a foot or two by the time I unlocked my door.

"Cupcake, what in the hell were you thinking going out dressed like that?" He asked as soon as I stepped in. I sighed, so much for miracles.

"I had a distraction for RangeMan tonight to help them get Charlie Haughton and this was the outfit that did the trick." I explained.

"That outfit looks like it should be turning tricks, but not for RangeMan." He slurred out.

I began to inch my way back to the door realizing that Joe had been drinking. The growing regularity of which was one of the reasons I had broken it off with him. He was a caring man, but when he drank he tended to be rough and mean spirited, then the following morning he was filled with remorse and pitiful over what had happened.

The number of gruesome homicides he been investigating was leading him to drink after his shift to forget some of what he had seen. I understood needing to relax but I no longer wanted to be part of that ritual.

I was one step away from the door when I realized he was following me. I decided to try and talk him into leaving but I was at a loss as to how to do that.

"Joe, I wasn't expecting to see you tonight. I thought we talked about it and agreed to be friends." I began.

"No, you talked about it and I listened, but after thinking about it I realized that you were wrong. I think you leaving is what's wrong." He stepped closer allowing me a whiff of his breath proving he had been "relaxing" with whiskey for some time already. The nearly empty bottle in his hand served as further proof too.

"Joe, you're drunk and I want you to leave. I don't want to fight tonight." I pleaded as my stomach growled.

"I hear you're hungry, Cupcake. I'm guessing there isn't a thing to eat in your apartment. That's one more reason why you should come back with me tonight. I have food and then you can thank me wearing that outfit. The boys miss you," He slurred again taking the final step positioning himself right in front of me.

I tried to get out of his way, but even drunk, Joe is a strong man and his years as a cop had given him skills in subduing a suspect even when they resist.

He managed to break his bottle against the wall during our struggle which frightened me because I knew even if he didn't mean to he could hurt me with the jagged edge in his hand.

"Please, Joe. Don't do this," I tried pleading again. "You don't want to do this."

He charged at me, knocked me over and my head crashed into the wall. The single piece of cheese pizza I mooched for lunch had left my system and I was weak already. My vision went blurry and I couldn't get up. I felt Joe pull me up himself, "I'm glad you decided to see it my way, Cupcake." His grip on my arms was painful but I couldn't fight against it.

He had me nearly to his car when I regained my hold on full consciousness and began to fight him anew.

Not liking my resistance he punched me with the hand that was holding the broken bottle top. It shattered in his hand cutting his palm and fingers. Unfortunately, it also sliced into my jaw and down the edge of my neck. I fell to the asphalt and didn't bother trying to get up. I put my hand against my neck feeling the blood seeping out.

Joe screamed in pain from his own injury before yelling, "Cupcake, you are simply not worth it." He accented his opinion with a swift kick to my back before climbing into his car to drive away. He gunned the gas to his Ford and small pieces of rock and debris from the parking lot were kicked up under his tires and thrown at me cutting into my exposed skin. I laid there for a few minutes listening to be sure he wasn't going to return, uncertain of what I would do if he did.

Finally I realized I was alone and decided I needed to get inside. I couldn't risk passing out in the parking lot dressed this way. What would my mother think? I could hear it now: "No one else's daughter was found in broad daylight dressed as a streetwalker covered in blood and dirt."

I thought the stairs might be safer because once I began to move I was afraid stopping to ride the elevator would prove too much and I wouldn't be able to get off.

I made it up every step despite seeing twice as many as there actually were. By the time I got the door I realized Joe has shut it and the knob was locked. I had no keys and no way to get in. I let my legs go and slid to the floor.

That was my last thought until I heard a man's voice saying, "Yes sir, she's beginning to make some sounds."

The voice was familiar but I couldn't quite place it. Realizing I was exhausted I went back to sleep figuring if someone had kidnapped me they could just have their way with me. I was tired of fighting.

"Come on Steph, you need to wake up for us. We want to get you home, but we can't do that until you wake up," Someone obviously didn't understand the need I had for a longer nap.

I tried moving my face away from the voice but a different one came from the other side. "That's it Beautiful, come back to us, please."

Lester had to say please, didn't he? Despite not wanting to, I fought back against the darkness and blinked my eyes open.

Les was holding my hand which had an IV in it. He kissed my fingers when I focused on his face. "She's back," He said with great relief and all joking gone.

I turned to see who he was talking to and saw Bobby on the other side reaching for a blood pressure cuff and concentrating on taking my vitals. Hal stood straight against the wall staring at my feet with his head slightly lowered.

"Where am I?" I scratched out praying they didn't say St. Francis Hospital.

"You're in my office," Bobby replied.

"Thank goodness," I gushed.

"I'm glad you approve. It took all our convincing to get them to release you from the hospital to my care yesterday." He explained.

That woke me up the rest of the way and I tried sitting up feeling sore everywhere, but uncertain why.

"Why was I at St. Francis?" I asked panicked at who else might know.

"We were hoping you could fill us in on that, Beautiful." Les said softer than his normal tone. "Junior was working in the control room and heard a rescue squad call to your apartment building and called us to check it out. We met you in the bay as they were pulling you into the ER. One of your neighbors said you passed out in the hall in a puddle of blood and called 911. What happened?"

I tried to talk through it hoping I could piece it together as I went. "I remember the distraction. We got the guy we needed to. Hal took me home…" My voice drifted as I tried really hard to remember what happened next.

That spurred Hal to speak up, but he didn't move his eyes from my feet. "Morelli was there and you didn't want to see him, but you told me it was fine and that I should let you go so I left you there alone."

Then the memories came flooding back. "You did exactly what I told you do." I said sternly. Clearly Hal somehow suffered from the delusion this was partly his fault.

"Regardless of what you told him," Tank said causing me to acknowledge his presence which I had not previously noticed. Apparently I had some vision issues too if I missed an enormous man dressed in all black standing against a solid white wall.

"He broke protocol in not walking you up and securing your apartment after a distraction. We put that policy into place because we recognize that you dress in a way that might make you a victim in order to help our company. So insuring your safety into your apartment is required regardless of what you might say." Breaking orders was not tolerated at RangeMan so I knew no amount of trying to talk him out of it would relieve Hal of what ever punishment Tank dished out. Still I felt bad because he had only done what I asked.

"Since we know Morelli was there, can you tell us what happened?" Bobby prompted.

I didn't want to. I knew the guys would be furious, but I was afraid that not telling them would be worse by leaving their imaginations to come up with a story for the cuts and bruises on my body.

"What do you know?" I wondered how much detail would be required.

Les' jaw was clenched tight when he answered, "We know that he banged your head against something, hit you in the face, and the bruise on your back which also bruised your kidney usually means you've been kicked with a boot. What we don't know is where the cut on your neck and all the embedded rocks and dirt are from. What did he do?"

I had no choice but to level with them. Just as I expected, they were furious. The look on Tank and Les' faces scared me.

"Guys, I promise I didn't know he was drinking. I wouldn't have gone up there alone if I had known. I didn't mean for this to happen," I began to ramble.

Les shushed me and ran his fingers along the edge of my hair. "Beautiful, we aren't mad at you. Morelli is a cop and should have known better. You can't let him get away with this. You have to press charges. One way or another he has to pay for this."

I didn't want this story to get out and into the local newspaper so pressing charges wasn't an option. I could already hear my mother's rants on how this was all my fault and that I somehow drove him to do this to me. I also didn't want the guys to take matters into their own hands and risk one of them getting arrested. I needed to come up with something quick.

"I'll talk to Eddie and see what he suggests. I don't want to press charges and deal with this hitting the newsstand, but I don't want him to get off scot free either. Maybe he can help me come up with something." I said silently praying they would accept my solution.

The room was silent for a moment before Tank finally spoke. "Okay, we can try it your way, but until you're completely healed to Bobby's satisfaction, you aren't going anywhere without one of us with you."

I quickly agreed thinking I could just stay at my apartment until Bobby said I was better and then start going out again alone.

"So, how long until I'm as good as new?" I asked trying to sound upbeat.

Bobby shook his head before giving me the report. "The bruising on your back and kidney needs to be monitored closely for a few more days. After that you will have soreness and pain there for two or three weeks at a minimum. The knot on your head didn't result in a concussion, so the swelling should begin to recede in a few days. The grit and gravel extractions are primarily scratches, although a few required stitches which can come out in a week. The worst was the cut to your neck."

At that point he stopped and rubbed the back of his neck with his large dark hand.

When he had himself under control again he said, "The cut missed your jugular by only a couple of centimeters. There was glass in the wound and it took eighteen stitches to close it up because of the jagged nature of the cut. You aren't going to like this, but it's going to leave a scar. Once it's healed completely we could have a plastic surgeon look at it, but right now it is important to minimize movement to allow the stitches to do their job in holding the delicate seam together. You came so close…" He didn't finish that sentence. He didn't need to.

"When can I go back to my apartment?" I asked softly afraid of the answer.

"You'll need to be here overnight and after that you could go back tomorrow, but you can't drive or move around too much for another week. You're stuck there, Steph. Wouldn't you rather stay here and keep us company?" Bobby asked giving me another chance to accept an apartment at RangeMan.

"I'll be fine. If I need to lie around anyway I may as well do it in my own bed." I replied lightly.

Seeing I was determined to leave the next day the guys told me good night and left me to get some rest. It was hard to get comfortable and sleep didn't come easily.

The next morning I was already awake when Bobby gently opened the door to check on me.

"Good morning!" I greeted him happily.

"Alright Bomber. Let's get you changed and Vince will take you home. We've decided to stay in the parking lot to give you your space, but someone will be there around the clock. You also have to promise to take a panic button with you in case something slips by the guy outside. Until you are able to move around freely I really need you to work with me on this. I'll stop by in the morning to check on you, but call me anytime you need me – day or night." Bobby pleaded.

"Okay," I told him. "I'll be good, I promise."

He planted a kiss on my head and left me to change into some clothes Ella brought.

An hour later I was in my apartment which was eerily quiet. I looked around and everything was as I left it, except the food fairy had been by. The heating instructions on the dishes told me I needed to thank Ella the next time I was at Haywood.

True to my promise I called Eddie at the station and talked to him. He was a good friend and listened. Eddie was completely shocked when I told him about Joe's drinking.

"We knew he had an occasional drink, but we didn't know it had gotten that bad."

I gave him the full scoop of what happened and Eddie was furious. Like I said, he was a good friend.

"Steph, me and the guys will take care of this. I appreciate you not wanting to press charges; it might be hard to prove anyway, but don't you worry; we will handle it."

I went to sleep that night feeling safe and fortunate to have such good friends. The guys at the station would deal with Joe and the guys at RangeMan had my back until I could take care of myself. I was glad I talked to Eddie instead of making a public spectacle. Obviously, this was the better way to go.


	2. Always Darkest When the Lights Go Out

_Thank you Mrs. Evanovich for creating such wonderful characters for me to play with._

_Special thanks to Jenn/perfectmanhattan for her skillful Beta work. _

**Chapter 2 – It's Always Darkest When the Lights Go Out**

I spent the next week living a life of ease in my apartment. Bobby checked on me each morning and was pleased with my progress. Ella stopped by every couple of days to bring more food and to tidy up my apartment. I was able to relax knowing there was a heavily armed guard in my parking lot. All in all, it wasn't a bad way to spend the week.

On Friday, Bobby took out my stitches and replaced them with Butterfly strips to offer additional support to the wound on my neck. He said it was healing well, but when I looked at it, all I saw was an angry red gash that I knew would never go away. I could hide most of it if I kept my hair down, but a ponytail, my preferred method of taming the beast on my head, would put the hideous mark on display.

Still, I was lucky to only have the four inch scar as my sole permanent mark from the night, so I was trying not to dwell on it.

Since I had satisfied the conditions of speaking with Eddie and waiting for Bobby's clearance before venturing out, I asked Tank to forgo the round-the-clock shadow. He reluctantly agreed as long as I promised to keep the panic button on me as well as assuring him I would try not to ditch my trackers. Until he saw what the guys at the precinct were going to do with Morelli, Tank wasn't as confident as I was that the ordeal was over.

The first evening of my newly granted freedom I snuck out to the McDonald's

drive-through for dinner. I didn't want to risk running into anyone but I was desperate to see something other than the walls of my apartment. Tank had deposited my share of the money from Haughton's capture so I had a little wiggle room with my bank balance.

When I got back home I announced to Rex that I hadn't forgotten him as I dropped my purse next to his cage and gave him a pinch of my apple pie's crust. Was I a good hamster mommy, or what?

I flipped on the TV and found a game to watch, taking the dreaded silence away from my apartment. I was screaming at an obvious bad call made by the ref when I had a feeling I was not alone.

I turned around and saw Joe glaring at me.

I didn't even bother to try and swallow the bite of burger in my mouth, knowing it would only try to come back up. Instead I went with the unladylike option of spitting it in a napkin.

"Joe, what are you doing here?" I demanded trying to hide the fear in my voice.

"I think we need to talk," Joe began.

Talking was good. It seemed like a safe thing to do. I scooted over to the corner of the sofa and asked Joe if he wanted to sit down.

"No, I think I'll stand," He replied walking closer to stand over me.

"What do you want to talk about," I prompted, emphasizing the word talk.

"I've had a week to get this together in my head. Every night I came by to apologize for what happened only to see one of Manoso's goons in your parking lot. This was my first chance to have you to myself." He began.

My eyes glanced to the kitchen where my purse was next to Rex's cage with the panic button and my cell phone. I needed to keep Joe talking in the hope that once he said his peace he would leave.

"Eddie, Carl and Big Dog stopped by my house last week to have a chat, man to man." Joe sat on my coffee table putting us eye to eye.

"They seemed to think it would be best if I stayed away from you for a while and then they went on to try and force me into bogus counseling to help me with my drinking problem. It seems there was a little squealer who thought it was her place to tell them I liked to have a sip every once in a while and took that to mean I needed help." Joe spit out the last part as though the thought disgusted him.

"Joe I had to tell them something, I ended up in the ER after your last visit and they would have assumed the worst if I hadn't told them the truth." I tried to downplay what had been said in the hope of calming him down.

"The truth!" He shouted, "Cupcake, you have no idea what the truth is. Do you have any idea of what it's like to deal with death for a living? To be called at all hours of the night to witness the most horrible scenes of murder and destruction? You walk a mile in my shoes and then tell me about the truth. When you left, I was forced to watch the person I love parade around with an endless supply of thugs dressed like a common whore. Do you know what it's like to have your family ridiculing you for not being able to get your girlfriend to settle down and have kids? Until you have lived my life you have no right to tell people I have a drinking problem. I just need a little drink to relax and keep my perspective, that's all."

I had no idea he felt like this and it had me concerned that calming him down wasn't an option.

In my silence he jumped in again. "I came here to give you another chance to come back home and let us start over. I know things got out of hand last week and I'm willing to say I'm sorry for that, but you need to realize how angry it makes me when you don't consider the effect you have on me. To show you how serious I am, if you come back with me I'm willing to say the drink I had before coming over tonight will be my last. I'll stop drinking to show you I don't have a problem with alcohol if you just come back to me. "

Admittedly, getting defensive was probably not the best move, but I wasn't known for my abundance of patience and self-control.

"Joe, I'm not going back to your house. I don't think you can stop drinking and until you do I don't want to be alone with you. We broke up and it was for the best. I think you should go before I call Eddie." I threatened.

I felt his fist before I even saw his arm move. The force with which he connected with my jaw knocked me over the cushion.

"You're not calling anybody. You're either coming home with me or I promise that you will never leave this apartment again." He stated. "Are you ready to walk down with me now?"

I shook my head no defiantly from my position stretched across the cushions.

This time I saw his anger bubble up to the surface in time to brace myself for the impact. His hands went for my hair and he yanked me from the couch. I put my hands over his to try to stop the pulling.

I noticed he was forcing me into the kitchen and was suddenly relieved I didn't cook because I knew he wouldn't find anything in there to use as a weapon.

Throwing me on the linoleum he managed to connect his boot with the exact place he bruised my kidney the last time. Following with blows to my stomach I balled up on my side trying to protect myself, but realized I was fighting a losing battle. Joe was stronger and seemed to have more determination.

I was surprised when he stopped and I heard him rummaging in the cabinet over the stove where I kept a bottle of vodka for emergency purposes only. He uncapped it and took a swig directly from the bottle. I noticed he was leaning against the push button controls that turned on the heating elements on the stove and made a mental note to turn them back off when he left. It's strange the things one sees when they are trying to deny what is happening to them.

I looked at Joe and couldn't find the man I once thought I loved. Standing before me was a man I didn't recognize. No where in his eyes could I find the kind, gentle man I once knew. This man was hard, cold, and angry.

Catching me staring at him he blurted out, "It's too late now, Cupcake," and slammed the bottle on the biggest element on the stove.

Joe knelt down in front of me lifted my head up at a harsh angle making pain shoot down the still tender gash on my neck. "Goodbye Stephanie," he said before reaching back with his fist and punching me in the face.

My vision went black but I could hear him walking away and heard the door slam when he left.

I tried to move, but everything hurt. I knew I had to get some help, but I couldn't get my eyes to work. I smelled something hot and heard a cracking sound but couldn't place what it would be.

Finally I heard the shattering of the vodka bottle Joe had put on the hot stove. Glass rained on me with the bottom of the bottle being lifted from the stove and falling onto exposed skin on my back.

I felt my skin burning where the heated glass made contact. That was the shock my system needed to wake me up enough to move. I used every ounce of energy I had to pull myself around and crawl to the cabinet. Luckily the handle of my purse was hanging down so I didn't have to stand to pull it to me.

I tried finding the panic button but couldn't mange it with my hands shaking and cut up from the splinters and shards embedded in them from the pieces of glass on the floor.

I gave up and unhooked my cell phone. I remembered Les programming his number in my phone and hit the icon for his mobile.

"Santos," I heard him answer on the first ring with the sound of feminine laughter in the background.

"Les," I said barely above a whisper.

"Stephanie?" He replied with the hint of playfulness gone from his voice completely.

I didn't have much time because my vision was getting dark around the edges again so I just said, "Help," and dropped the phone.

I wasn't fortunate enough to stay unconscious for treatment. As soon as Bobby rolled me over I awoke with pain.

My eyes popped opened and startled the RangeMan medic who was clearly not expecting me to respond.

"Alright Bomber, you're alright. I just need to take a look at your front to know how to transport you to the hospital." He told me.

"No," I tried protesting. "No hospital."

Lester jumped in, "Beautiful, we don't have a choice. You are going to need some help with the burns on your back that we can't give you at RangeMan. We just aren't equipped. We promise you won't be alone and we'll bust you out as soon as we can handle your needs ourselves."

"Okay," I sighed giving up the fight.

Bobby pressed on my stomach at its most tender place and I gasped from the sensation. "Alright Steph, we're going to put you on a board to transport you. I think the bruising to your abdomen and kidneys are signs of internal bleeding and I'm afraid if we bend you too much to lift you in our arms that it will only aggravate them. Hang on for me. You're safe now, we're going to take care of you, he won't hurt you again"

I felt them stretching me out and supporting me to roll me onto the board and securely strap me on before Les and Vince picked me up to carry the board down to the waiting SUV.

Bobby and Les jumped in to ride with me. Les grabbed my hand while Bobby tried to find a vein for an IV and some much needed pain medication. As soon as he was successful I felt the warmth of the morphine he administered giving me relief and I slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next time I awoke I heard a beeping monitor. I don't know how long I'd been out, but I no longer felt sleepy. That had to be a good sign, right?

I carefully opened my eyes and found my room was crowded with Merry Men. Hal and Junior were asleep at the foot of my bed in straight back chairs. Bobby had his back to me staring out the window and Tank was holding my hand talking to Les on my other side.

I squeezed Tank's hand causing him to stop in mid-sentence and look at me.

He grinned before saying, "Are you really awake this time, Little Girl?"

"This time?" I asked doing my impression of a bull-frog due to my dry and scratchy throat.

Bobby spun around to answer my question, "Yea, you've been in and out for the last forty-eight hours but you never stay awake longer than a minute or two." I waited for him to smile indicating he was just joking, but apparently I had really been in the hospital for two days and this was my first coherent moment.

"Why have I been out so long?" I asked after Les gave me a sip of water.

"The surgery to stop the internal bleeding took a while and they kept you sedated intentionally for a few hours to give you a chance to heal. Then the treatment on the burn on your lower back made them keep you heavily medicated to relieve some of the pain for the first twenty-four hours."

"Burn on my back?" I asked confused. I had no memory of being in a fire.

This time Les spoke up, "Yea, Beautiful. Apparently you had a visitor who placed a sealed glass bottle on one of the hot burners on your stove. When the heat shattered the glass a chunk of it landed on your back sticking to the skin and burning it pretty bad."

Tank was the next to speak, "What happened before you called Les for help?"

"Morelli," was all I said before the tears started to fall.

Immediately Hal and Vince stood up and walked out of the room. I looked questioningly at Tank but he didn't seem to be in the mood to settle my confusion.

"He'd been drinking and wanted to try and straighten things out between us. He came over to apologize and asked me to come back home. He said the guys down at the station wanted him to get some counseling for his drinking problem and he wanted me to know that he didn't have a problem with alcohol. He said it was just how he coped with the stress of his job and his life. Apparently his family has been ridiculing him about how he can't get me to settle down with him and start a family of our own. If I had agreed to go home with him he promised he would quit completely."

"If that's what he wanted then why are you in here?" Les asked failing in his attempt to rein in his anger.

"Because I didn't believe him and I refused to go home with him." I admitted. "I didn't think he would go this far. It was like the Joe I knew wasn't even in there. He was just so angry and said if I didn't leave with him he would see to it I never left my apartment."

Les rubbed my cheek with the back of his knuckles. "You know you did nothing wrong, don't you?"

I turned my face away from him and tried to stop crying. I knew he was right, yet I had trouble believing it. Maybe if I had agreed to go back with him, Joe would have at least accepted some help and not lost himself to being completely controlled by his need to drink.

Because I rolled my face to Tank's side he took it upon himself to finish Lester's thought.

"Stephanie, you didn't cause this. When a man drinks he may not be in control of his actions, but he is still responsible for them. His friends at the PD tried to tell him he needed help, but he wouldn't listen. No one can take the blame for this except Joe." Then he bent over so that we were eye to eye and asked, "Do you hear what I'm saying?"

I nodded yes. "I hear it; I just have trouble accepting it. I saw the signs and didn't do anything to stop him months ago. I just yelled at him when he was drinking and forgave him when he asked until I couldn't handle it anymore so I walked out. I wish I had tried harder to make him understand what he was doing." The tears flowed down my cheeks as I admitted to failing him as a friend.

Tank interrupted my struggle to say, "No, Stephanie. There is nothing you could have done to stop him from doing this, but there is something you can do to keep it from happening again."

I knew they wanted me to press charges. I wasn't sure how to explain it to them that I couldn't do it. I was afraid that with a trial all of my failures would be up for public display. Since I was associated with RangeMan even if I didn't work there full-time it would be an embarrassment for Ranger and I had vowed not to let that happen.

I covered my face with my hand and asked, "What options do I have other than pressing formal charges?"

Tank spoke again, "I'll call our attorney and have him come with some options for you to consider. But I need to warn you, regardless of what you decide to do formally; we can't let Morelli get away with this. He didn't want to listen to his friends at the station; maybe he'll listen to us a little better."

"No!" I practically screamed at my friend. "No, you can't do anything to Joe. He is still a cop and could have you arrested. You can't let any of the guys get into trouble because of me."

"Steph, even if I wanted to call them off I don't think that order would be carried out. He's gone too far this time. You are one of us whether or not you want to admit it. You may be ashamed of us, but we are nothing but proud of you and I intend to have a chat with Detective Morelli personally." Tank explained.

"How could you possibly think I'm ashamed of you?" I asked. "I only refused to work at RangeMan to keep my failures from ruining the image you guys have. I figured I would embarrass you eventually and didn't want to see the look of disappointment in your eyes when I made a mess for RangeMan that you had to clean up."

That confession only got a snort, a chuckle, and a "What?" from the remaining guys in the room.

This time Les spoke, "Beautiful, you are a part of us regardless of what your time-sheet says. We need you around, not only because of the good work you do, but because of what you mean to us. We deal with some hard shit, and it would be easy to let than pull us into a dark place, but one look at you, your smile and your light and we realize why we do what we do. You make it worth it for us. You never judge or lecture us, you just love and support each and every one of us. That's all we're trying to do in return."

I lifted my hand which was covered in gauze at the palm and let my fingers rest on Les' arm next to me.

Bobby then spoke up. "They are going to release you tomorrow if you are still progressing well. Please tell me you will consider coming back to an apartment on four. I'm going to need to be able to change your dressings regularly and we would all sleep better knowing you are safe with us instead of exposed to another attack alone in your apartment."

Now what should I do? I wasn't keen on the idea of another surprise visitor either, but I didn't like the idea of being a burden to anyone. I just wasn't sure what other options I had available. I didn't want to stay at my parent's house. The lectures alone would drive me insane.

After deliberating for a moment or two I eventually agreed to come back to Haywood. "I'll do it, but you need to find something I can do inside to earn my keep." I stipulated.

Tank reminded me, "There is an endless supply of paperwork and searches that I would be more than glad to slide to your desk." I wondered if the gleam in his eye should make me nervous, but I decided no. They all looked pretty relieved looking so I assumed they were just glad I finally agreed to stay at RangeMan.

And that is how I found myself two weeks later. I was back in my old cubicle sitting on a special cushion that provided extra comfort for my painful injuries trying to do background checks for potential employees at the Miami office. I shouldn't complain; I was already on plenty of medication. And spending this much time sitting in front of the computer make sure that I was tired and didn't need to add a sleeping pill to the multitude of other medications I was currently on.

I was self conscious about my appearance. Not only did I have the gash on my neck, which had to be restitched in part but I had the four inch diameter burn on my back that showed every time I leaned forward and my shirt rose up over my pants. There were lots of little cuts and scrapes on my arms too, but I hoped in time they would fade. I couldn't help but feel hideous. I felt like a monster that should be hidden away in a dark and secluded room. The guys gave me plenty of space but it only made me question if the changes in my appearance made me too different for them look at.

With that thought I sent Tank an e-mail asking if I could take a laptop to my apartment on four and work from there. I used the comfort of the furniture in the apartment as the primary reason for wanting to relocate, but really I just wanted to avoid the stares of the guys and their concerned faces. I couldn't bear the hidden meanings I assumed were behind their glances. I was sure that staying isolated was a better solution for us all.


	3. Hiding in the Dark

_JE deserves all the credit. I'm just playing with her creation._

_Jenn/perfectmanhattan I can't thank you enough for being such a gentle, speedy and thorough Beta._

**Chapter 3 – Hiding in the Dark**

"Arghhh!" Once again a bad dream disturbed my sleep.

This time I was in the middle of a distraction. RangeMan was desperate for the bond on this skip and I was the only one that could lure him away from his bodyguards and get him alone for the guys to capture.

It was a textbook night; I had his attention and he was playing right into my hand. We were walking to the door and he was right behind me. I turned around to make sure that he was still focused on me and that we weren't being followed and when I did, my shirt moved to the side and the scar left from the burn was exposed.)

His face instantly went from attraction to repulsion in a matter of seconds. "Obviously, you aren't what I thought. I was looking forward to some fun, but I'm not going anywhere with someone as disgusting as you." With that he shoved me into the wall leaving me as he rejoined his cronies in the club.

These types of dreams were coming nearly every night where the ugly changes to my body somehow caused me to be rejected and unable to work as a part of the team. I knew they were just dreams, but it was hard to let it go at 4:00 AM.

Realizing I wouldn't go back to sleep and this would just give the bags under my eyes a little more incentive to grow, I decided to try sneaking into the gym for a little change of scenery. I spent most of my time in my apartment and knowing the guys tended to work out at 5:00 I thought I could risk going down without being spotted other than by the guys on the monitors.

Once I got to the gym I realized a major flaw in my plan. I don't like to exercise. Still I wanted to stay awake and I figured if I got my heart rate up I had a greater chance of accomplishing that. So, I jumped on a stationary bike. I refused to get on a treadmill and thought this was a nice compromise to working out since I was still sitting down.

I kept my eye on the clock, careful not to stay too long and risk any of the guys seeing me. I was wearing a pair of snug yoga pants and a long t-shirt that would probably fit the guys better than me. I didn't want to risk anyone having to look at the bubbled and disfigured skin on my lower back.

I had my hair pulled into a loose ponytail so I could rip it out quickly to cover my cut if I needed to. Looking at my appearance you would never guess how much time I spent carefully considering my outfit to give the impression I just threw on whatever my hands reached first.

After thirty minutes of riding the stationary bike I thought I should sneak back to my apartment in case someone decided to hit the gym early. I felt myself relax as soon as I shut the door behind me into the solitude of my apartment on four. I had managed to get out undetected and felt a certain thrill at the idea. Maybe I could become a morning person after all.

My life was at a new low. The greatest thing I had to look forward to was waking up early to work out in the gym by myself. I stood in the shower and let my tears fall at that realization.

On this day, just as every other day since I came back to RangeMan, I dried my tears as I dried my body and refused to cry again until I had the cover of darkness insuring I would not be interrupted.

Bobby stopped by at 8:00 to check my neck and back and the condition of my nearly faded bruises. Being satisfied with my progress, he said we no longer needed to keep them covered. He intended this to be good news, but I wasn't so sure I agreed.

"Do you think they'll ever fade?" I asked him as he lowered my t-shirt indicating the exam was over.

"Over time they will probably go from the red they are now to a much lighter pink color, but they will definitely be present." He told me.

"You mentioned the possibility of a plastic surgeon for the scar on my neck." I said softly hoping he wouldn't dash my hope of getting rid of at least one of marks.

"It may still be possible, but because it reopened in your last attack it only made it bigger. I'm sure it could be minimized, but I'm not sure if they could make it completely disappear. Still, if you want to pursue it, I'll call around for some referrals." He offered. "Personally I don't think you need to worry about it. I know it's there, but I hardly notice it. There is no reason for you to try and hide it. Do you want me to find some surgeons?"

"Not now," I told him not wanting to make more work for Bobby, especially if it wasn't going to get rid of the scar completely.

"Are you coming upstairs today?" He asked. "Your back should be okay for some time in your regular chair."

"Maybe," I said offhandedly. I had missed seeing the guys. "This afternoon I'll bring up the searches I've finished and may stay up there for the rest of the day."

That earned me a full smile which I basked in. He pulled softly on a curl and said, "It would mean a lot to see you up there with us."

I worked until lunch, thankful that Ella now stocked my kitchen for me which eliminated the need for me to go shopping. The downside was that I had to eat healthier, but beggars can't be choosers.

I waited until 1:00 when I knew Tank had a meeting with the guys to go over the new files RangeMan had accepted from Vinnie. I would only have to face the unfortunate souls in the control room and anyone on limited duty.

I put my completed files on the desks of the guys who had requested them along with sticky notes that I drew smiley faces on above my name. Seeing that Rodriguez had been busy, I cleaned out my inbox and retreated back upstairs.

This was my routine for the next week. A nightmare would wake me up early, I would run to the gym and return to the solace of my apartment until lunch or during an afternoon meeting to disburse my work and pick up any new files. I tried to smile and chat as briefly as possible with any of the guys I ran into to try and convince them that I was fine.

It was Friday and the guys were trying to get me to go out with them. They were going to dinner at Shorty's and then to a club. I don't think they expected me to go dancing, but they were really applying the pressure for me to at least join them for dinner.

I had voicemails, e-mails, and some notes under my door begging me to join them. They even sent Binkie down to ask me in person knowing he had the most innocent face and was the one I had the hardest time saying no to. I finally sent him away with a promise to think about it knowing in my heart that I was definitely not going.

When I knew the guys were gone I changed into my pajamas and settled on the couch for another viewing of Ghostbusters. I always loved this movie, but even I was beginning to get tired of it. Maybe I should join Netflix so I could have some new things to watch. Halfway through I fell asleep.

The shrill ringing of my apartment's phone woke me from my slumber. Checking the clock it was close to midnight which startled me. The guys never called me this late so I answered it immediately fearful that something was wrong.

"Hello," I said rubbing the sleep from my eyes in an attempt to get alert for whatever bad news was on the other end.

"Steph?" a male voice said tentatively.

"Yes," I began still not sure who had called me.

"Did I wake you up?" The mystery man asked.

Hmmm, to lie or not to lie…, "Yes," I went with honesty. "But I had only drifted off on my couch; I wasn't in bed for the long haul of night yet." I tried to soften the truth a little.

"I'm sorry, Steph. I didn't know if you had gone out with the guys are not." He began without telling me who this was. I wondered if it would be rude to ask, but decided to just wait and see if he would reveal himself somehow.

"It's no problem, really," I said glad to have someone to talk to. I was a people person at heart and had missed chatting with the guys. "What can I do for you?"

There was an extended pause before he said, "I'm on monitors tonight. There was an alarm at two client locations pulling out the few guys that were left who didn't go to the club. I had to work a late shift last night and got called for a sudden capture this afternoon, so I'm running on fumes. I thought…" Then he stopped.

I waited for him to continue, but when it he didn't I prompted him, "You thought what?"

"Well, I thought it would be easier to stay awake if I had somebody to talk to and wondered if you could keep me company." He said quickly as though he were afraid of the answer.

"I'd love to keep you company, but I've already changed into my pajamas. How about we talk on the phone instead of me coming up there?" I offered.

I could hear the smile and relief in his voice, "That sounds perfect."

"Did you have anything in particular you wanted to talk about?" I asked, curious if he would say something to drop a clue about who I was talking to.

"Umm, no, usually when we talk, most of the topics tend to come from you," He admitted sheepishly.

I could have objected, but realized that was probably true. I tended to talk a lot more than the average Merry Man and since I knew this wasn't Tank, Lester or Bobby I most likely did lead the conversation.

"Well, why don't you tell me about the capture they drug you out of bed for," I suggested.

I was shocked when he said okay and then began to detail who the guy was and how they had struggled to catch up with him. Today the skip was passed out on a park bench sleeping off a bender from the night before, so stealth and speed were necessary to capture him and they were able to do it.

My curiosity was getting the better of me. I spent the next forty minutes on the phone with a mystery Merry Man and had absolutely no clue who it was. I was wracking my brain for who it could be and trying to identify a piece of accent or a catch phrase that would give him away, but could come up with nothing.

We talked about a few other cases he was working on and then moved onto discussing sports. Luckily I kept up with baseball, as whoever this was loved the Red Sox. I was a die hard Yankee fan so we blew another ten minutes worth of conversation on that rivalry alone. Thankfully, my father had instilled a love of all things athletic in me from the time I could crawl in his lap to watch the game with him. I knew stats and players for each team from the last thirty years and could argue and quote them as well as any of the guys.

I was having a great time and could feel my facial muscles pulling from smiling so much. Either this was an unusually good conversation, or I had not been smiling much lately.

Too soon, he said the guys were coming back up from checking the alarms so he should probably let me go to keep from getting ribbed for needing someone to talk to.

I told him, "Goodnight, call me anytime you need some no-doze"

After a short laugh he responded, "Thanks again, and sleep tight Angel," before disconnecting the call.

I thought about it a little longer and decided to check the duty roster tomorrow to see who I had been talking to. With my plan in place I went to bed to enjoy what sleep I could before the inevitable dream came.

I had a slight reprieve and didn't wake up until 4:30. This had to have been the worst nightmare so far. In it Ranger had returned and let himself into my apartment. He snuck into my room where I was sleeping and slowly took off his utility belt, extra weapons and boots before sliding into bed beside me. I was wearing a cropped tank top as it was hot that night and when Ranger pulled the covers back he saw my exposed lower back and my neck where my hair was pulled up. Without even asking, he quickly redressed and ran out, not even willing to touch me.

As I dressed I reminded myself it was only a dream, and completely ridiculous. Ranger had never been anything but supportive of me and he would never run out like that. But, a piece of me still wondered if he would ever want a "someday" with a girl who was marked up with signs of her inability to defend herself.

I took the stairs down to the gym to do my solitary workout on the bike; riding to no where and trying to keep my thoughts there as well.

I heard the doors to the gym burst open filling my ears with the sound of the guys laughing from their exploits the night before. I took their distracted joking as my cue to leave and quickly yanked the tie from my hair covering up my neck with untamed curls. At least this unkempt mess of hair was good for camouflage.

"Hey Steph," Ram called out. "It's good to see you, but what in the world are you doing in the gym at 5:15? You've been in your apartment so long I'm afraid you may be lost in the building."

I smiled slightly at his joke, but felt the sudden need to get out of there as quickly as possible. "No, I just decided to get in and out before you guys came down here and started stretching the truth about who you took home last night," I jabbed back, breaking eye contact and making my way to the door.

"Wait, Bomber," Vince called out. "Please don't leave because of us, we didn't mean to interrupt, and we'd like it if you stayed down here with us. Junior and Woody here are going to get in the ring to spar and you can join us in watching if you want."

Vince was being sincere, and a piece of me wanted to stay just to be around my friends, but a greater piece just wanted to run back upstairs. I went with the more panicked side and kept walking to the door, "Thanks for the invite to watch you guys pummel each other, but I think I'll go with a shower and some work instead."

I was nearly to the door when Woody called out, "But it's Saturday."

I ignored it and kept up my hasty retreat.

By the time I was in my apartment I realized the interaction with the guys had gotten my heart rate higher than my workout had. Something was definitely wrong with me. I knew it, but I didn't know how to fix it. I dwelt on that in my shower but only succeeded in getting worked up over the fact that now not only did I have physical scars everyone could see, but apparently I had developed some emotional ones too.

A normal person didn't need to hide in their apartment, especially not in a secure building full of ex-military men who would literally lay down their life for her if it was needed.

I took my time getting dressed. It was still warm, but the air conditioning in the building gave me a little leeway with my wardrobe. If I covered my neck with my hair I only needed to cover up the scratches on my arms and the burn on my back. A lot of my shirts were short, but I found a few long sleeve button-ups in light weight cotton at the back of my closet.

The guys had brought over all my clothes and hung them up haphazardly for me while I was still in the hospital. I wasn't sure if these were old shirts that were in the back of my collection and that's why I didn't remember them, or if Ella had been kind enough to try and help me with my wardrobe. Regardless, there was a peach colored shirt that was long enough to tuck in and not slip out with movement. It was technically short sleeved, but it went down to the bend in my arm so most of the minor cuts were covered. The ones on my palms I could disguise by keeping my hands to myself.

I curled my hair, putting some effort into how I looked and was pleased that I could convince it to lay the right way to hide the mark on my neck. As long as I didn't turn my head too much to the right, no one would see it. A little blushing rose lip gloss, some silvery blue eye shadow and three coats of mascara produced what I hoped was a face that put the guy's minds to rest that I was okay.

My plan was to slip into the control room and get the duty roster to see who my mystery caller was last night. Perhaps if the guys saw me out they would relax some in trying to "help" me.

I walked up the flight of stairs to the fifth floor and took a few calming breaths at the door. I noticed my hands were clammy and wiped them on my denim shorts. I needed to get a grip. I doubted many pimply faced teenagers were this nervous on prom night.

I mustered up enough courage and walked through the doorway onto the main floor. It was Saturday which would normally mean that a smaller crew was working, but since it was only 9:00 and the day after a long night for most of them, there were even fewer guys around.

Hal was the first to see me and walked up to me right away. "How are you Steph?"

I flashed him what I hoped was a sincere looking smile and said, "I'm great Hal, how are you?"

His shy demeanor returned and he looked down before responding, "I'm glad to see you. We've missed you." Then he turned away as though any further conversation would put him in mortal danger.

I turned around and literally ran into Tank. He reached out and steadied me by the shoulders before letting his hands drop to his sides. "Hey, little girl. What can I do for you?" He asked.

"Nothing big guy, I was just out looking for a change of scenery." I replied giving him my practiced smile.

His eyes narrowed marginally and he made a gruff sound but he did put a hand back on my shoulder to say, "I'm glad you're up here, I have something I was hoping you could help with."

Always wanting to help I agreed to follow him to his office where he produced three CD's which he said was security footage at one of the client's offices. They believed that an employee was stealing money from the office but they didn't know who it was or how it was being done. He wondered if I might have time to look at the disks, which he warned could take hours, and report back if I saw anything suspicious.

I promised him I would, happy to have something different to do other than my standard searches. Maybe I could delay joining the movie club if he had any other assignments like this one.

The chat with Tank had taken nearly an hour as he wanted to give me the full extent of the funds missing and the history of the client. By the time we were finished, the floor was filling up again and I thought I had ventured out enough for one day.

Maybe that duty roster check could wait until later. I hated the idea of letting fear stop me from answering a nagging question, but one glance at the control room where the schedule was kept, showed me it was full of guys reliving their night out so I knew there was no way I was going in there now.

I returned to the stairs and slowly made my way down a floor. Bobby caught me unlocking my door and called out to me, "Hey Bomber, how's it going?"

I momentarily considered slipping inside and pretending I didn't hear him, but my brief hesitation would have told him that wasn't true.

I turned back to face my favorite medical expert and tried my patented answer, "Great Bobby, how was your night?"

"It was alright. There were lots of girls, but none that could hold a candle to you so I had to let them all go," He answered with one of his full-charmer smiles.

I laughed at his take on why he went home alone last night and then held up my files and CD's and commented that I was just about to get to work.

He got a look on his face similar to Tank's but let me go with a friendly kiss on the forehead and a promise to bring lunch and some of the guys to my apartment if I wouldn't come up and eat with them in the break room.

"You know where to find me," I said as I finally pushed my door open to escape.

The guys often said they would come to my apartment for a meal, but rarely did. I assumed they were either respecting my need for space, or unsure of how to act around me so they allowed the distance to continue to grow between us. I didn't think for a moment anyone would actually knock on my door for lunch.

Unfortunately, I underestimated the level of their concern as an hour and a half later there was a loud knock on my door which nearly scared me off the stool I was sitting on at the breakfast bar of the kitchen. I was contemplating lunch, but as of yet hadn't gotten around to eating anything. My lower activity levels and constant presence inside were beginning to get to me and I no longer had the appetite I once did.

I opened the door and saw Bobby smiling at me with a box full of white paper bags containing subs from Pino's. The marinara and melted cheese smell hit me as soon as I laid eyes on them and I licked my lips with excitement.

Trailing behind Bobby were Les, Vince, Junior and Hal. Les pulled me to him for a tight hug completely lifting me off the ground. He nustled into my hair on the side opposite my scar and said quietly, "I've missed you Beautiful."

Briefly I squeezed him back and admitted, "I've missed you too, Les."

He sat me down gently and pulled back to say, "Please tell me we will get to see more of you soon. I think we saw you more when you lived at your apartment instead of here. It's not the same without you up there during the day."

"Alright, let the girl eat," Vince said, handing me a sub.

I was grateful for the distraction. I unwrapped my favorite sandwich and took a huge bite. It was good, but it was only good. Usually I felt like a meatball sub was as close to nirvana as one could get without chocolate or nudity, but today it was just good. The guys all seemed to be enjoying theirs as usual, so I knew it was just my reaction that was off. I forced myself to keep eating, but only made it through a third.

It was fun to listen to the guys talking and laughing and I loved having them around me. Briefly I wondered why I had been nervous about being around them. I was relaxed and even got in some teasing too when Les' confession about being hit on by a man when he was in the restroom of the club came out.

Too soon, the guys announced it was time to head back to work so I reluctantly got up to play proper hostess and see them to the door. I thanked Bobby for the food and the company.

He leaned over to kiss my cheek and asked, "Are you doing okay. I notice you didn't eat much and I didn't hear a single moan. Is there anything you need?" He almost seemed to be pleading with his eyes for me to talk to him but my pride refused to break.

"No, this was great. Next time, I'll supply the subs." I said hoping he would let it go.

Luckily he was pushed away by Les who gave me a wet kiss on the lips as was his tradition. He touched my nose and winked at me before turning around to walk out the door.

Vince and Hal both gave me small kisses on the cheek and I smiled as Hal's face slightly reddened because of it.

Junior was the last to leave and for some unknown reason he moved to kiss me on the cheek on the same side as the scar on my neck. His hand rested lightly on my shoulder, and when I lifted my head to give him access to his target, I felt my hair move back exposing the mark I had tried so hard to hide.

I'm sure he meant nothing by it, but when my hair moved back it appeared his eyes fell to the scar and I suddenly found it hard to breathe. I pulled back abruptly and stiffened completely. The change wasn't lost on Junior and he asked if I was alright.

I nodded my head yes and literally pushed him to get the point across that I wanted him to leave. I shut and locked my door behind him collapsing on the floor to cry.

I could hear the guys still out in the hall. Junior called to them, worried. "Um, guys, I think I did something wrong." He confessed.

"What, I thought it went great," Les answered.

"Well, when I kissed her cheek she moved and I saw her neck. I was curious how it was healing so I glanced at it as I moved closer. But, she freaked out, pushed me and shut the door behind me. I didn't mean anything by it. I didn't see what the big deal was. We all have scars, what does it matter?"

I heard someone hit him and Hal was the next one to speak, "Man, do you not have sisters, or even a mother? Girls care about scars. She's probably self-conscious about it, and you had to look at it up close where she could see you?"

Bobby spoke up, "I'm sure she noticed, but I doubt she's as freaked out as you think. I'm sure she would have preferred you not see it, but she isn't vain like that. That's one of the things we love about Bomber, she isn't so fixed on her appearance like a sissy girl is."

"Yes, but next time stay on her right side to avoid the whole issue. That was the most relaxed I've seen her in weeks and we can't screw it up with stupid mistakes. We've got to get our Stephanie back upstairs with us where she belongs." Les directed.

His comments were met with agreement and their voices gradually softened as they walked away.

I stayed on the floor and cried. I wept for my good friends who obviously loved me enough to try and help in what ever way they could. I cried for my inability to receive their help and the fact that I was apparently shallow enough to worry over my appearance even around my friends.

I needed to find a way to beat this, but my mind was blank. I decided to throw myself into my work and hoped that I would feel a little stronger tomorrow.

Besides I still had the mystery of my late night caller to solve. I may not be strong enough to handle someone looking at my marks, but I was definitely still pigheaded enough to do some snooping. Tomorrow I'd start off at the control room instead of the gym and get at least one question answered.

Once I had that accomplished perhaps I could come up with a solution for some of my other issues.


	4. Voices on the Line

_None of the characters belong to me. JE deserves all the glory, laud, and honor._

_Jenn (perfectmanhattan), as usual your Beta skills are amazing. You are making this a lot more fun since the pressure is off of me to try and catch the mistakes!_

**Chapter 4 – Voices on the Line**

My face looked fuzzy in the mirror as I tried to apply make-up to lessen the look of the dark puffy bags under my eyes. I'm sure I wasn't fooling anyone, but I had to at least try. I smiled, if Ranger could see me now he probably wouldn't recognize me. It was 4:15 and I was awake, that in and of itself would have put him over the edge of doubt. In addition to that, I was dressed to work out and he would be sure I was an impostor. It's strange how things change.

I did my time on the stationary bike and this time I allowed myself to eye some of the other equipment. There had to be a more interesting way to work out. While I appreciated the way this kept me awake, I was definitely bored with just spinning my legs in circles. I could ask Bobby for some suggestions. He used to bug me constantly to let him tailor a workout plan for me, but now I didn't want to bother him. He had already done so much.

Forty-five minutes later I grabbed a towel, pulled my hair back down in case I ran into someone in the hall and made my way for the stairs. The building seemed unusually quiet so I decided to go up to five and check to see if I could get a glimpse of the schedule for the weekend without much trouble.

On five, most of the lights were off so I knew my chances were already better than the last time I tried. When I arrived at the control room, only a bored looking Junior was sitting there with the blank eyes of a man who had been staring at monitors for too long.

I cleared my throat and tried really hard not to laugh when he jumped enough to literally fall out of his rolling chair. "You need to be more aware of your surroundings," I teased quoting Ranger's favorite instruction to me.

Junior's face slightly darkened and he was good natured enough to sit on the floor and laugh along with me. I offered him a hand to stand up and he gladly took it, hanging onto it to ask what he could do for me.

"I need to see the duty roster for the weekend." I said as though it were an everyday occurrence for me to double check such administrative tasks.

Not having a reason to doubt me, he handed the binder to me and I flipped to the control room section for Friday night looking for the midnight shift. There were two people assigned, and neither name did me any good.

"Is that what you needed?" Junior asked seeing my confusion.

"Not really," I answered quickly. "This says Vince and Binkie were on Friday night, but I'm pretty sure Vince went out with the guys."

"That's right he did, he found this waitress that was only about five feet tall and tried to dance real close to her but the height difference was too much and we told him it looked like he was taking advantage of a middle school girl on the dance floor. You should have seen his face," Junior laughed at his friend's misfortune, but tried to pull himself together when he noticed I was not as amused as he was.

"Maybe you had to be there," He surmised.

"Do you know who he got to cover for him?" I asked.

"Not a clue. Tank would know though. We have to make him aware of any changes to the schedule." Junior offered then remembered, "Of course he left early, something about having something to do, so maybe he only got part of the shift covered."

There was no way I was going to talk to Tank. Maybe I could figure it out another way. Handing the binder back to Junior I thanked him and apologized again for startling him.

"No worries, you probably kept me from falling asleep and getting busted big time when the guys show up," He said brushing it off. "Hey, we've noticed you're making a habit out of working out lately. If you ever want some variety in your gym time I'd be glad to show you around some of the other machines."

I almost said yes out of habit, but caught myself and muttered, "Thanks, I'll let you know," before quickly turning and dashing back down to the fourth floor.

I was disappointed that I hadn't figured out who my mystery caller from Friday night was, but decided it didn't matter. Maybe it was just a one time thing and I should just let it go. So far Binkie was the only possibility I had but it didn't seem right. He was single, as far as I knew, but he tended to end a lot of his sentences with the phrase, "know what I mean?" and the guy I talked to didn't say that once. I couldn't rule him out absolutely, but I doubted it was him.

I managed to get through two of the CDs Tank gave me before stopping for lunch. I made a peanut butter sandwich, which sadly did not contain olives as Ella didn't realize they made a better partner than jelly to the nutty spread. I ate half of it, lost interest and wound up tossing the rest. That afternoon I finished my searches and dusted my apartment.

How bored does one have to be to dust voluntarily? If I were doing a spot inspection I could report that Ella deserves a raise. My cloth didn't pick up the first piece of dirt making my efforts even more useless. I half heartedly watched a game on television in the late afternoon. The Red Sox were battling with the Angels, and even though I couldn't bring myself to pull for them, knowing somewhere in the building was a committed member of Rex Sox Nation I couldn't root against them either.

The game eventually went into extra innings which is where I fell asleep. My phone rang, pulling me from my slumber.

"Hello," I said through my yawn.

"Damn, I did it again didn't I?" The male voice asked.

"Did what?" I said flipping through my mental rolodex over who this was and what they had done.

"I woke you up," He stated giving me no wiggle room to deny it.

"Technically yes, but only because the game I was watching couldn't hold my interest. Theoretically, you did me a favor." I said hoping to dispel their concern.

"That was why I called," He admitted.

"What is?" I was confused. I was awake enough now to know this was the same guy I spoke with over the weekend, but still not alert enough to figure out what he was talking about.

"The game," He began, "I wondered if you were watching the game."

"Oh, Honestly, I was, but somewhere in the tenth I fell asleep. Your boys didn't seem to want it badly enough to keep their bats swinging and I was losing steam quickly." I told him trying to open up some friendly banter in the hope of identifying who this was.

"Then you missed the grand slam in the twelfth, winning the game?" He asked laughing at the fact I went to sleep and missed what must have been an exciting inning.

"Apparently so, but I'll catch the highlight reel tomorrow," I said hoping to appease him and silently banging my head that I did seem to miss the good stuff like that. I endured the four hours with nothing happening, only to miss the five minutes with action.

"I should let you go, sorry about waking you," He said.

"No, don't go." I nearly pleaded. I tried to make my voice a little calmer and began again. "I mean I'm awake now, and you must have called for a reason other than to brag on the Sox."

A soft chuckle escaped his lips and my curiosity meter went into overdrive. Which of the Merry Men chuckled?

"Honestly, I'm on a surveillance shift and only have half an hour to go before my relief arrives." He admitted.

"I thought you guys always worked surveillance in pairs," I questioned.

"We do, but we are short shifted this week because some of the guys had to go to Boston to help with a take down. Tank decided that those of us who have been here the longest could be trusted not to do anything stupid without calling in for back up first so I'm here alone." He explained.

"I'm hoping you haven't called me for back up," I joked.

That earned me a full laugh, but I somehow knew it was directed at me. "No, just some company. I believe you promised to be my personal no-doze anytime I needed it."

"That I did," I agreed. "But how were you watching the game? It doesn't sound like your eyes were on the intended target."

"I had it on the radio. It isn't the same, but sometimes I prefer to just listen. My grandfather always had the games on in the background in his shop so I got used to watching the action in my head based on how they described it." That was not what I expected. I was getting some personal information from a Merry Man.

Deciding to push my luck I asked, "Did you spend much time with your grandparents?"

"They practically raised me." He said without hesitating. "My mom died not long after I was born and my dad was a Marine and he was shipped out pretty often so I lived with his parents stateside when he was away."

"I'm sorry," I said without thinking.

"Why?" He asked catching me off guard.

"Because you lost your mother so young and you must not have known your father very well. It seems like a hard way to grow up," I answered.

"I never thought about it. My Gramps and Gamma filled the role of parents for me and they were great. I know my home was a lot better than most kids had even if it wasn't traditional. I worshiped my dad, but he had a hard time looking at me and not seeing my mom so it was probably for the best that he didn't try to stay home and raise me himself," He explained.

"Wow," I said startled at what he just said.

"What?" He asked with a worried tinge in his voice.

"I've never had one of you guys open up about your life before. Usually I have to beat you down before you offer me some personal detail like, 'yes I like ketchup on my fries.'" I explained.

"Oh, well, you're easy to talk to and being on the phone makes you less intimidating," He confessed.

I laughed at that idea. "No way do you guys consider me intimidating. Why would you be afraid of me?"

"I guess at first it was because we didn't know you. Then once we realized you were alright, we were scared that you would find out who we really were and not want to be around us anymore. So we keep stuff about ourselves to a minimum so it won't scare you away," He admitted.

"I can't believe that's true," I responded. "Why would personal information make me not want to be around you? Wouldn't it just help to build a friendship?"

"It would if you could accept it, but Steph, we aren't like you. Most of us, at one point or another in our lives have done some stuff we aren't proud of. The thought of disappointing you would be too much to take." His voice trailed of quietly as he said the last bit.

"So you don't trust me." I stated as fact thinking I knew how to defuse this delusion the guys had about me judging them.

"Of course we trust you; we trust you with our lives." Why would you say that?" He said defensively.

"Because if you really trusted me you would know that I could never turn my back on you guys. Nothing in your past will change how I look at you in the present. It might help me to better understand why you are the way you are, but it wouldn't make me judge you or think any less of you." I informed him.

There was silence, too much silence. "Did I lose you?"

"No, I'm here. I just hadn't thought of it like that before." He admitted quietly.

"I'm just trying to say that if you would tell me more about you I could know you as a friend. You might find me easier to talk to if you didn't feel like you had to hide from me at the same time." I coached.

We continued talking for the next half hour. He told me about his grandparents and how they gave him a great childhood. His Grandpa died five years ago suddenly from a heart attack leaving his Gamma alone. He's worried about her, but she refuses to slow down despite being eighty-two.

A horn honking in the back ground interrupted us and I asked if everything was alright.

"Yea, it's just the next shift coming to relieve me." He told me. "Once again you have gotten me through another long night. At some point I will need to return the favor." He said as his engine roared to life.

"Consider it returned by the fact that you have been telling me about yourself, which I love to hear." I told him mentally adding, 'You're telling me everything about yourself except your name!'

"Maybe the next time I won't wake you up," He said.

"It was worth it. Talking to you was way better than dreaming anyway." I admitted hoping he didn't ask what I meant. I didn't want to lie to him after the lecture I gave about trusting each other enough to open up. I quickly added, "Have a good night."

"You too, Sleep well Angel," He said before hanging up.

I grabbed a legal pad. To hell with my earlier declaration that who the mystery man was didn't matter. Now that I was getting to know him I needed to figure it out.

At the top I wrote MMM, then smiled at my acronym for Mystery Merry Man. It made me think of a sound someone made when they ate something delicious. It didn't matter which guy it was, it was guaranteed they were hot, so delicious wasn't a stretch. With my school girl moment over, I went on to make two columns. On the left I wrote "Possibilities" and on the right I put "Ruled Out."

I proceeded to put the guys I could think of on one side or the other and intended to whittle down the possibility side until I figured out who it was that kept interrupting my sleep. When I was finished I was a bit surprised at how many there were. The most prominent options were: Hal, Zero, Binkie, Cal, Zip, Vince and Woody. Although, I'm pretty sure I would be able to hear Woody's southern accent, and he usually called me Darling instead of Angel, so I went ahead and crossed him off the list.

I went to sleep that night wracking my brain for ways to figure out who it could be, frustrating myself with no answers.

I awoke the next morning sitting straight up in bed. I looked around and realized a dream was not what woke me. I smiled at the thought that I slept without having a nightmare for the first time since I came to RangeMan.

Why did I wake up then? My clock said it was 4:15 so I drug myself from bed and began my ritual of hiding how I really looked to go downstairs and workout.

As soon as my rear end hit the seat of the bike I had an idea. I was going to start putting notes on the searches I ran for the guys on sticky notes with the Yankees logo on it. Hopefully my Red Sox fan wouldn't be able to resist commenting. At the very least maybe somebody would admit to being a Yankee fan too, allowing me to mark them off the list.

I jumped off the bike thirty minutes later, excited about running searches so I could return them in the first step of my plan to root out my night caller.

I was bounding up the steps and literally ran into Bobby in the stairwell. He steadied me before I fell backward on my rear end and said, "It's good to see you out and happy."

"Yep, I can't wait to get to running more searches." I answered honestly causing his face to look puzzled.

"Any chance you will do that from your cubicle instead of your apartment?" He asked hopeful.

I started back on my way to four but said, "Not this morning, but maybe soon."

Unfortunately there were just three searches to run and only one was for a possibility on my list. Still, a little information was better than none so I went through my work as quickly as possible and dropped of the files with my NY post-it clearly displayed on top.

Back in my apartment I realized the rush from the morning was wearing off so I heated up some soup from Ella and popped in another disk from Tank. I tried watching it but looking at people in an office performing clerical duties is about as much fun as watching paint dry, without the excitement of seeing it painted.

People typed, people answered phones, people made copies. How this was supposed to give me clues about someone stealing money from the company was beyond me. The quality of the video was remarkably good so I decided to try and figure out what each person was working on. I could freeze the frame and zoom in on specific people but I couldn't watch it in real time that way.

I spent the next hour coming up with my take on each person's responsibilities and even came up with a back story for each person based on the personal items on their desk. I did notice the girl who seemed to be filling out the deposit slips would copy each of the checks two times before filling in the slip for the bank. That seemed like a good idea.

Then I saw a small oddity. The person who brought the money to her handed her a stack of checks and tapped the one on top. They didn't appear to say anything but there was definite silent communication going on. I watched as she copied that check only once, rolled the original in the copy and put it in the filing cabinet before performing the regular routine with the rest.

What was that about? There must be some reason for it. I endured the mind numbing last hour and a half of footage and never saw it done that way again. I typed an e-mail to Tank asking if he could contact the company and ask about their check processing procedure and to see if there would ever be a reason to file a check instead of depositing it.

I knew something suspicious was going on, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Until I had that detail from our client there was nothing more for me to do, so I logged off preparing for an early night.

My weeks of sleeplessness were beginning to catch up with me.

I had just begun to drift off when my cell phone rang. I was irritated but answered it anyway hoping for the chance to have another conversation with my MMM, but knew as soon as a different voice answered that wasn't going to happen.

"Cupcake?" Morelli's voice was soft on the other end, but I still pulled the phone away from my ear without disconnecting. I was having trouble breathing and the tears had almost blinded me with the speed that they appeared.

I needed help. Without thinking about how I looked I opened my door causing it to bang against my inside wall and wondered where to go. I needed to get away from Joe on the phone, but didn't have a plan. I was having trouble focusing on what to do next when the noise I was making with my panic attack must have alerted someone I needed help. Either that or the control room came to my rescue since there was a camera on in the hall.

Bobby's door flung open and he rushed to my side quickly followed by Lester who had been in his apartment too.

"Beautiful?" Les said asking what was wrong.

I held up the phone in response and he took it gently from my hand and put it to his ear before closing it and telling me, "There's no one there Steph. What's going on?"

"Morelli," I said as my knees went out.

Bobby caught me and took me back to his apartment. He pulled me into his lap as Les sat next to us on the couch.

I sobbed as the fear from just hearing his voice overtook me. I knew I was hysterical and this was well above a normal response, but I was powerless to stop it.

Proving themselves to be patient men, they waited until the sobs quieted. Bobby rubbed my back and Les held my hand occasionally reaching up to wipe the tears from my cheeks. I knew he was doing it to sooth me, because new ones continued to fall making his efforts to clean my face pointless.

Seeing I was near the end of the worst of it, Bobby began to speak in a calm voice using reassuring phrases, "That's it Steph, just let it out. You're okay now, we're here and he will never hurt you again."

Eventually I relaxed into Bobby and the guys looked at each other for a moment before Lester asked, "What happened on the phone with Morelli?"

"Nothing," I told him honestly. "I was asleep when my cell phone rang. I answered and he said 'Cupcake,' but I pulled the phone away from my ear before I could hear him say anything else."

Then the full brunt of my reaction hit me and I was terribly embarrassed about falling apart. "I'm so sorry guys. I didn't mean to cry all over you. I shouldn't have fallen apart, I just didn't expect to hear his voice and the last time he said that name was in my apartment. I know he can't get to me here, but I couldn't help it. I'm so sorry." I rambled hoping they wouldn't think I was completely nuts when I tried to get up from Bobby's arms.

"Relax, Bomber," Bobby said pushing my head back to its previous resting place on his shoulder. "You needed to get this out. Quite honestly I'm surprised you haven't done this sooner."

With that comment I jerked my head back up, "You what?"

"You were betrayed and hurt by someone you trusted in your own home. That's huge on so many levels. You needed to finally react to that part of it in order to be able to admit what's happened to you to move forward."

"I know he can't get to me here," I began, "But I heard his voice and panicked."

"Beautiful," Les began, "Morelli can't get to you anywhere. We made sure of that."

My attention was now completely captured. "What do you mean you made sure of that?"

Bobby cleared his throat, "The last time you were in the hospital, as soon as you said his name as the person that hurt you Hal and Vince immediately left and hunted him down. He'd gone to a bar on the south side of town to try and forget what he did. They brought him back to RangeMan and put him in holding so he could sober up."

I didn't see how this was insuring he could never hurt me again.

"While he was in holding Hector was sent to his house and planted trackers on his bike and car and placed a bug on his phones. Tank came back that night with the pictures the ER took documenting your injuries. He printed them out and went down to holding with Junior and Cal as witnesses."

Les picked up the story. "He told him while you were fighting for your life we wanted him to see what his 'drink to relax' had done to you. Apparently Joe couldn't believe it. It wasn't until Junior and Cal laid out the forensic evidence they gathered from your apartment proving he was the one to do this to you that he broke down. He remembered getting mad and hurting you, but he didn't remember how far he had gone."

Bobby finished, "So Tank told him the decision of what to do was ultimately yours, but at RangeMan we take care of our own and the evidence they showed him would go to the chief first thing in the morning as would a petition for a restraining order to keep him away from you. He didn't fight either point. But if he ever tries to make a move we'll know and intercept him."

"That's all that happened?" I asked a little disappointed that they hadn't roughed him up first.

"What did you think Tank was going to do?" Les asked with only the smallest hint of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"I guess I assumed the conversation would have included Tank's fist." I confessed.

Bobby's chest shook a little as he tried to contain his laughter. "Tank couldn't hit him. As the acting director of RangeMan he needs to stay out of police custody."

I sighed wishing I could have done what Tank could not.

Les jumped in. "Bobby said Tank couldn't hit him. He didn't say Morelli was able to walk home unassisted."

My eyes jerked up to meet Les', willing him to go on.

"We didn't think you would want to know, so we didn't tell you," Les confessed.

"Apparently Hal and Vince had to persuade Joe to come with them to the office and when Junior and Cal were standing guard they took their order to sober him up very seriously. When I dropped him off at home, I made sure he would sleep well by turning off his lights myself." There was a very satisfied smirk on Lester's face when he admitted to assaulting an officer.

I moved from Bobby's arms and threw myself into Lester's. My friends had defended me and in doing so they put themselves in danger at the police station. At the moment I just wanted to thank him and apologize for putting them in that position, but all I could do was sit in the laps and arms of these strong men and try to absorb their strength.

As if he knew what I was thinking Bobby told me, "Eddie told Tank, when he dropped off the file we had to the chief, that the guys had heard about the fight Joe got into outside the bar where he'd been drinking. It was a shame he got roughed up so bad like that, but he was sure Joe would be fine and wouldn't need the police to be involved in a personal matter like that. Apparently the hospital released him after a couple of days saying his injuries from his 'unknown attacker' would heal in the next four to six weeks."

I turned around to look at Bobby and he explained, "The guys at the station felt so bad about Joe coming after you a second time that they were ready to go after him themselves and were relieved we got to him first. They will see to it no one from here ever gets questioned about the whole matter."

"And, if you decide to press charges, Eddie filled out an official case file from your initial attack just to have the documentation that this wasn't the first time it had happened. It's completely your choice Steph, but the guys at the PD have your back too." Bobby finished.

I had continued to put off meeting with Hanson, the RangeMan attorney that Tank had called. I knew he would suggest I do something but I didn't want to face it.

"Beautiful, whatever you want to do is entirely up to you, but we will be there for you through it all," Les assured me.

"Maybe I should talk to Hanson like Tank suggested. I don't want to go through a trial, but I would like to look into other options that are available to me." I said hoping there would still be a course of action.

Les squeezed my shoulder and repeated his phrase from the hospital, "She's back."

I looked up at him and smiled as I thought, 'Maybe not back, but I'm definitely pointed in the right direction now.'


	5. Deciphering Clues

_I'm having such fun with the great characters created by JE. I deserve no credit for them._

_A big thank you to Jenn (perfectmanhattan) for patiently doing the Beta work on this story. Your suggestions are always right on and gently made. Thanks!_

**Chapter 5 – Deciphering Clues**

The next day I woke up a little later than normal and saw it was already 4:45. Who would have ever believed I would consider quarter 'til five to be late, but there it was.

I debated not going to the gym. I hadn't had a nightmare and wondered if it was really necessary. I could just skip working out and no one would know the difference since I did it by myself anyway.

I thought back to last night as Bobby and Lester gently held me and supported me. I never told them my concerns about my scars but I knew how much they wished I would come back upstairs and be around the guys.

I finally drug myself out of bed and put on my usual work out garb making my way down to the gym. I was determined to at least try being around them. I knew most of the guys tended to get in a zone when they were working out so I figured they would mostly leave me alone anyway.

I pushed the door open the gym with a deep breath and made a beeline for the stationary bike I usually rode. There were a few guys there, but they were already in their respective zones. I was feeling pretty good about being there and had to admit the view was definitely better with the Merry Men lifting weights and sparring in the ring close by.

My hair was irritating on my neck making me hot, but I wouldn't allow myself to put it up. Bobby and Les came in when I was half way through my ride.

Seeing me in the gym with the other guys had them literally running over to me. Les scooped me off of the bike and announced loudly, "I'd heard the guys in the control room say that you were coming to the gym in the mornings but until I saw it with my own eyes, I didn't believe it."

When he sat me down Bobby leaned in for a hug and told me, "It's good to see you out. Are you doing okay?" He pulled back searching my eyes for the real answer despite what I might try and tell him.

"Yea, there were these guys who were bugging me to come out of my apartment a little more so I thought I'd try it this morning. So far, so good." I admitted knowing he was curious if I felt alright to be around the guys.

"You've been riding for a while; do you want me to set you up on another machine?" Bobby offered.

I shook my head knowing inside he was probably doing a Merry Man version of the happy dance based on the expression on his face.

"How about you suggest a couple of things I can do to supplement the bike and then you go do your own thing. You don't need to babysit me." I told him hoping they wouldn't hover.

As if they knew what I needed they showed me how to use the rowing machine and gave me a mini lesson on the Stairmaster. I could tell them before I even got on the first time that this instrument of torture would not be a mainstay of my daily workout program.

Forty-five minutes later, I had worked up a sweat and left for a shower and a little time alone. It was one thing to be in there when it was mostly deserted, but when it began to get crowded it was like being the favorite exhibit at the zoo. I felt like everybody was starring and I was getting self-conscious.

When I booted up my laptop in the apartment I saw an e-mail from Tank informing me the client said the policy manual directed all checks were to be copied in duplicate and immediately deposited on a daily basis. No funds were to be filed or delayed in deposit for any reason.

I replied that I had discovered something that was inconsistent with their policy and could tell him where a check was stored, but I couldn't confirm that this was the problem they needed to investigate.

At lunch I took my searches up and distributed them with the sticky notes I had been using prominently displaying my Yankee preference. When I dropped off the files most of the guys were at lunch, but Binkie was in his cubicle and saw the post-it right away. "Go Yankees!" He called out after I walked away.

Hmmm, I think it would be safe to mark Binkie off the list. No self-respecting Red Sox fan would ever say that phrase aloud. Still, I had eliminated one option getting me closer to figuring out the MMM.

I busied myself in the afternoon and even smiled when I got Tank's e-mail. "Little Girl I knew you would see something. Why don't you come up to my office tomorrow and bring the disc to show me what you found so that I can pass it along to the client, unless you would rather do it. I'm sure they would prefer to work with you rather than me on this anyway. Let me know what would make you most comfortable and I'll make it happen."

I pulled the info I needed and typed up a memo for Tank to share with the client regarding the activities I observed. I wanted him to have a neat presentation for them but knew I wasn't going to be a part of it. Going down to the gym and being around guys I was comfortable with was one thing; putting myself out there for strangers was a horse of a different color.

By 9:00 I was bored and not the least bit sleepy. I was getting stir crazy but didn't know what to do to relieve it. I was saved from any further contemplation when my apartment phone rang. I knew no one from the Burg could reach me with this number so I answered it happily, "Hello."

"Yes!" Came a clearly happy voice, "I finally managed to get you when you weren't asleep."

Ah, my Mystery Merry Man. "Let me guess, you need a little company since the Sox have the night off?"

"Busted on your first guess," He laughed. "Is that so wrong?"

"Nope, I'm glad you called, I was getting bored and it was too early to go to sleep, even for me." I confessed easily.

"You should go out and do something. I'm sure some the guys are hanging out somewhere, you should join them." He suggested sounding as though he were going to get off the phone so I could find some entertainment.

In a panic I admitted more than I wanted to, "But I'm not ready to be with the guys yet."

"What do you mean, not ready?" He asked.

"Well…" I was at a loss as to how to explain the truth and even more unsure if I wanted to go there. How pathetic did I want to come across?

"You know you can talk to me, right?" He questioned. "I mean, I've opened up to you and I hope you feel comfortable enough to do the same with me. You know I won't share anything with any of the guys, whatever you say will be just between you and me."

I took a deep breath and jumped in, as though I were bracing myself to get in the swimming pool knowing the water was going to be cold. "Since I came back from the hospital I've had trouble being around people."

With no hesitation he asked, "Is it because of what Morelli did? Are you afraid one of us will hurt you too?"

"No!" I quickly said with a little more volume than was necessary. "I mean, I know you guys would never hurt me like that."

"Then why don't you feel comfortable around us any more?" He seemed confused.

"Since I left the hospital I know I look different, and from what Bobby says, the scars are probably going to be permanent. I know it's shallow, but I don't want the looks of pity that inevitably come when somebody notices one of the marks. I especially can't handle it when someone stares at one of them." I felt like a whiny teenager complaining about a date night pimple, but it was the truth.

"You think we're going to treat you differently because of the scars?" He wondered.

"Yes."

"You're probably right, we would." He said.

"Wow, I don't...I, uh…" I stuttered. It was one thing to suspect it, but it's another thing entirely to have it confirmed.

"Somehow I think you and I are looking at this differently," He said postponing my anxiety attack. "I meant that we would look at you as even stronger and tougher than before because those marks would serve as evidence of one more thing you've been faced with and survived. We would hold you in ever higher esteem than before."

"You're right that's not how I was looking at it." I admitted.

"What did you think I meant?" He pushed.

"That the scars would serve as a reminder of my failure to defend myself and if the whole story ever made it out to the public that it would ultimately bring embarrassment to RangeMan. You guys have done so much for me; I have to protect this company as my way to say thank you." I told him truthfully.

I heard him let out a long slow breath. "You were afraid we were ashamed of you?"

I didn't want to answer him even though it was true, but, I knew I needed to try and explain. "I couldn't help thinking that way, all I've done is to wreak havoc and cause you guys added aggravation. Tank's gotten shot and broken a leg with me, Les, Vince, Ranger and Bobby have all taken bullets when they were on Bomber duty. Heck several of you had to be admitted because of concussions just from standing too close when bombs went off. The bombs, the bets, the reporters…those two clowns were right; all I do is bring bad press to RangeMan."

"Obviously our silence gave you a terrible opinion of us," He interrupted my tirade to continue. "I don't know a man out there that could possibly be ashamed of you. The stuff that happened to us when we were with you could have happened without you there. Hell, we've all taken bullets in the line of duty. There is a reason Ranger feels the need to employ a full-time medic. But it isn't because of you. We might feel a pang of anger when we see your scars and we will never be able to see Morelli without wanting to beat the shit out of him, but for you we only have pride." He said as though it were obvious.

"Yea, I understand a few of you did exactly that." I said wondering if he were one of the ones that got in some punches.

"You heard about that?" He asked. "Are you mad?"

"No, a little jealous maybe, but not mad," I admitted.

He chucked at my honesty.

"Now, what would make you think we would ever be embarrassed by you? That idea had to come from somewhere because we've worked with you for a few years now and it's not been a problem." He wondered.

"I don't want to bore you with this. I'm sure you were doing something more interesting before you called me." I tried to divert his attention.

"I can't think of a thing more interesting than you at the moment. Now quit trying to change the subject and tell me what would have given you that idea." He pressed.

I took a deep breath and told him about the conversation I overheard in the break room with the contract workers. When I was finished I heard a growling sound coming from my phone and wondered if we were losing the connection.

"Are you still there?" I asked.

"Just give me a minute," He said clearly trying to rein in his temper. "Steph, believe me, none of the guys you know who are employees at RangeMan would ever think that way of you. We know what you contribute to the organization, and we have seen you pull together clues and figure out mysteries none of us could. Why do think your inbox is always full for searches? Nobody picks up clues like you do. You save us time by finding the right trail for us to follow and you keep us safe by speaking up when something feels off. Please tell me you don't throw us all into the same category as those assholes."

"I get how you guys feel about me, but I want to try to protect Ranger's company and you guys from the comments and suspicions of the people who don't understand what I do here. They only know what the papers say and from my press record I'm a walking train wreck," I tried explaining my concerns.

"But, Steph, you can't embarrass us or Ranger for that matter. And we don't give a shit what anyone else thinks. Do you?" He challenged.

"I don't want to," I said realizing how true the words were, and yet how hard they were to live into.

"Easier said than done, huh?" He prompted.

"Yea," I agreed.

"I can understand that," He seemed to understand but I had no idea why he would. It's not like the Merry Men have to care what other people think about them. They catch the bad guys, keep us safe and do it all while looking really hot.

Finally my curiosity got the better of me and I asked, "Wait, how can you understand?"

"Answering that question might take longer than my shift," He teased.

"Then I'll take it in installments," I replied hoping he would tell me something.

After a long breath he started. "When I graduated from high school my best friend Steve and I joined the Navy together. We made it through basic and special technical training and spent the next five years enjoying all the Navy had to offer."

"What happened?" I asked when he paused.

"We were on a mission that went wrong nearly from the moment our suits our got wet. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time. A bomb went off and Steve caught most of the shrapnel, the biggest piecing slicing the artery in his neck. I got hit with mostly small pieces and lived for another day. I made it back to base a few days later and had to walk around under the constant stares of the guys I served with wearing bandages on my face and arms. I never knew if they blamed me for his death, but I still live with the fact that if I had pushed him when I first heard the sound he might still be alive today."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"It was a long time ago, but I learned to stop listening to what other people thought and just listen to the voices I trusted." He explained.

"Like who?" I wondered.

"Gamma," He answered quickly.

"She got me back home and set me straight. I had a few marks that never faded, but she helped me see what was important and she told me to quit seeing the scars as reminders of my failure, but instead, see them as a part of who I was." He explained.

"She must be an amazing woman," I blurted out.

"I'll take you to meet her. She'd love you," He stated simply.

"Why, she doesn't even know me?" I asked.

"You'll just have to wait until you meet her and then you'll understand." He said letting me know that was all I was going to get on this topic.

"Is there more to this story?" I wondered.

"Yes, but it will have to wait for another night," He said with a bit of a laugh.

I made an aggravated sound which only seemed to fuel his laughter.

Then he said something I didn't expect, "Steph, as much as I like talking to you on the phone could we maybe try this in person?"

"Sure," I tried to sound certain but it came out almost as a question.

"How about something easy like lunch tomorrow? You always bring up the searches to five around that time, so why don't you stop by my desk and we'll grab something to eat together." He suggested.

What did I say to that? 'Yes I'd like to have lunch with you, but I don't know which desk is yours? Oh and by the way, who are you exactly?'

"I'll tell you what, I'll meet you in the lunch room at 1:00 and we can take it from there." I counter offered, hoping if I got there first and sat down he would come to me.

"Alright, you've got a deal," He readily agreed. "You won't stand me up will you?"

"Not a chance," I told him. Mainly because I had no other way to find out who he was.

"Then, I hope you sleep well and I'll see you for lunch," He promised.

"Good night," whispered hoping to hear his usual response.

"Good night, Angel." Hearing his voice telling me what I most wanted to hear was slowly becoming my favorite lullaby.

I went to bed hopeful that I would have another great night. Unfortunately, that wasn't meant to be.

I was chased by faceless men who shot, bombed and pursued me. I was an easy target because I stood out as the only female with scars. I awoke with a scream at 3:59 and rolled over to cry. I had been doing so well. Why would I suddenly feel like a victim? Where did all this fear come from? Eventually I pulled myself together and went down to the gym.

I was later than normal but I still managed to get on my bike before anyone else showed up. I tried keeping my head down and hoped I would appear to be in a type of zone. I had no ability to disguise my eyes this morning. If anyone approached me it would be evident that I had a horrible night.

I cut my time short and hopped off after only twenty minutes. I was exhausted and emotional and worried that someone would pick today to try and get close to me. I made it all the way to the gym door when it happened. Junior and Vince were coming in as I was leaving.

The doors swung open and I practically fell against Vince's chest. He caught me and helped me get my balance before looking me in the eye and asking, "Are you alright?"

I didn't even try to answer. I just ducked my head and ran around them as the tears began to fall. I didn't stop running until I had shut my apartment door behind me and threw the lock too.

I waited for the knock that I knew was coming. Sure enough in less than three minutes there was a soft pounding on the door.

I opened the door and saw Tank standing there. He asked nothing and never took his eyes off mine as I backed up to let him come in the foyer. Taking the knob from my hand he pushed the door closed and then held out his arms giving me the choice of turning away or coming to him.

I hit his chest with a thud as I gladly sought comfort in his strong arms. He quietly held me and when my sobs softened, he lifted me and carried me to the couch and held me in his arms. I absorbed his warmth and began to feel better.

"Little Girl, I'd do anything to help you right now, but I have no idea what would do the trick. Tell me what to do." He pleaded his voiced strained with emotion.

"I don't know," I replied. "I don't know."

I felt him shift and then have a one sided conversation on his cell phone, "Yea, at Steph's. No. Just you two. I think it's time."

In a few minutes I heard Bobby and Les announce themselves.

"Beautiful, what's going on?" Les asked pushing my hair away from my face gently.

I tried wiping the tears from my face and willing them to stop falling but only partially succeeded.

"Dreams," I confessed. "The first one in days."

Bobby spoke up, "Steph, we want to help you. The fact that you're having nightmares is completely normal for what you've been through. I think it might be a good idea for you to talk to someone."

"Who?" I asked hoping they didn't mean a therapist.

"I have somebody that some of the guys have used in the past. He is really good with situations like this and I think you might find it helpful." He calmly explained.

I sat up a little and asked, "You mean some of the guys have needed to talk to somebody?" I don't know why that surprised me.

This time was Les' turn to shock me. "Beautiful, we're just men. When I saw him I had just gotten back from a rough mission. Ten years I'd been doing this, but nothing compared to the things I saw there. After fighting it for a month I was falling apart. I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't sleep and if I did I'd just wake up again because of the dreams. That's when Bobby suggested this guy. I saw him a couple of times a week for a while and was able to get a hold on what I had seen and done."

"You mean all this is…?" I was at a loss for what to fill in the blank with.

"Normal, Steph," Bobby helped me. "For what you have been through what you're experiencing now is completely normal. If you want to talk to him, he can stop by tomorrow and will meet you in my office. No one will know what you guys talk about and he can come for as long as it's helpful to you."

That didn't seem so bad. I nodded my head and then added, "Okay. I'll try it. I have to do something. I'm tired of being like this. I know I'm not reacting right, but I can't help it."

Les framed my face with his hands and told me, "Then until you can help it, let us help you. You know we would do anything in the world for you, right?"

"Yes, I don't know why, but I know you would." I admitted.

"That's a start," Les agreed giving me a small smile.

"That's a start," I repeated giving him a smile of my own.

They left me to clean up and Tank stopped at the door to ask me to come up to his office with the research I'd done for our client on the CD's. He wanted to fully understand what I saw so we could explain it to the client.

I took an extra long shower and put effort into my make-up and hair. I found a denim long sleeved shirt and rolled the sleeves up past my elbows. I tried to pair it with some black cargo pants, but they were too baggy. I tossed them aside and tried some jeans and they practically fell off. My last option was a pair of skinny shorts. They were loose too, but would work for today. I hoped this guy would be able to help me so I could enjoy eating again. If not I was going to need all new pants.

It took more than an hour but I eventually made it to Tank's office and ran through everything I had discovered. It was straightforward so Tank agreed to carry it over that afternoon and present it with my memo. It was nearing 1:00 so I stood up to leave. Just as I got to the door he called my name.

When I turned back to face him he smiled and said, "Little Girl, you did good. I'm proud of you."

I gave him a genuine smile in return, realizing I hadn't heard those words in a while, but I liked them.

With the remnants of that smile on my face I made my way to the break room and picked up an apple to wait for my lunch date.

I was looking at an out of date issue of Guns and Ammo that someone left on the table to keep from looking unoccupied when someone walked in.

"Am I interrupting?" Came a familiar voice.

I looked up and grinned at my Mystery Merry Man. "No, I read this issue in October when it first came out," I teased closing the magazine.

After he stopped laughing he said the phrase I needed to hear to be sure I had the right guy.

"Are you ready for lunch, Angel?"

I took the hand he offered and stood up. "As ready as I'll ever be."

And hand in hand he led the way.


	6. Learning to Talk

_The characters here do not belong to me. JE created and perfected them._

_Jenn (perfectmanhattan) you are so much fun to work with. Thank you for all the time you have spent trying to polish my story as a fantastic Beta._

**Chapter 6 – Learning to Talk**

We got to the hall when he turned back to face me. "We talked about having lunch, do you a preference of where that happens?"

I swallowed hard, not wanting to go to a restaurant, but not wanting to eat in the break room either.

"No," I said hesitantly.

"Good," He replied with a smile. He guided me past his cubicle to pick up a back pack before leading me to the elevator.

When he dropped my hand to push the call button I tried to discretely wipe my palm on my shorts. Expecting him to press the button for the garage, I was shocked when he hit the roof instead. We rode in silence until the bell dinged to announce we had reached the top of the building.

He extended his hand in a way that signaled that I should walk out first. I slowly stepped onto the roof of Haywood and was surprised to see a small picnic table at one end. I turned back and looked at him with a curious expression on my face.

Seeing my question, he answered, "A lot of the guys eat out here when the weather is nice, so Luis took pity on us and built the table a couple of months ago. Sometimes it's hard to stay inside, but we have to be close when we're on call so this is a nice compromise. I raided the break room as soon as Ella brought lunch to be sure we had some decent food to choose from."

I smiled at his preparedness when he motioned for me to have a seat. Our simple lunch of sandwiches, fruit and potato chips, which he had snuck in the building especially for me, tasted better than most food had in the last few weeks. I wasn't sure if it was the company or the sunshine on my face. I had missed being outside.

We talked and laughed about sports, some of the guys' funnier exploits and a few of my less than humorous ones that the Merry Men consider to be classics. I couldn't believe an hour flew by that quickly. As the conversation died down a little I found myself staring at his handsome face.

I'd looked at him hundreds of times before, of course, but today it felt like I was actually seeing him for the first time. His skin was slightly tanner than mine. Being employed at RangeMan, he fit all the prerequisites of being tall, at least six inches taller than me, and absolutely solid. I doubted my arms could reach around his chest and meet at the back. His eyes were blue but were lighter than mine as though they had a drop of grey mixed in them. His hair was short now; he appeared to be growing it out as it used to be shaved to skin. His brown hair had hints of auburn when the sun hit it just right.

I marveled at his strong jaw line which turned at the chin and dipped into a masculine clef in the in the center. His smile revealed a dimple on his right cheek, but none on his left. His nose had a light scattering of small freckles making me picture him as a young boy playing outside at every opportunity. Before I could continue my exploration of his face he caught my eye and held it.

"What?" He asked not at all offended at my obvious starring.

"I was just looking at you," I confessed. "I was thinking about the story you told me yesterday and wondered where the marks were you mentioned. Your skin looks perfect to me."

"Come on, look closer, you will see them," He instructed pointing to his face.

I tried searching for any hint of a scar but simply couldn't locate one. "Sorry, I'm coming up blank here."

"That's because you know me, so you aren't as likely to see anything that's wrong, which by the way I hope you will remember when I tell you that looking at you here I don't see a single mark on you either." He pointed out.

I couldn't help but tilt my head down a little making my hair fall forward.

"Don't," He pleaded. "Don't do that. Please, don't hide from me. I'm being honest with you. I know where the scar is on your neck, but I can't even see it from here. I'm sure you have it covered with your wonderful head of hair, but even if it weren't, I wouldn't care."

I gave him a half-smile trying to believe what he was saying. I returned my attention to his face in order to change the subject back to his scars.

"You're going to have to point it out." I said.

"How about I give you a hint?" He teased waiting for my nod before continuing. "I got tired of the pitying stares from the guys on base so one night I got really drunk and decided to camouflage them. Does that help?"

I squinted my eyes looking for how he camouflaged angry red marks on his face and then it hit me. The tattoo I had once only glanced at a little nervous about starring too long had a bit of texture to it. I got bold enough to lean forward and extend my hand. He saw what I was doing and met me half way so that I could rub my fingers gently over the flaming skull on his forehead. Sure enough, the hardened scar tissue was easy to identify from the unharmed skin despite the ink covering it up.

A smile lit my face as I leaned back and dropped my hand. "I never would have seen that."

He laughed, "Yea, most people are too afraid of me once they see the tattoo to stare too closely at anything else."

"So you did that to cover up your scar?" I asked.

"Mostly. Steve had the same tattoo on his arm so the design was in honor of him. I had gotten where the scars didn't bother me anymore, but I did get annoyed with the looks of pity I would get. Usually the pity would turn to questions and I hated answering the questions. So, I decided to put an end to it once and for all by covering up the red skin and making it look as intimidating as possible to mirror my newly developed blank face."

"Are you glad you did it?" I wondered.

"Most days I am. When my Gamma first saw it she was furious. I don't think I have ever heard her talk so fast and so loud in my life. But once she got over the initial shock of it she grew to accept it. I like to think that my friends see me and not the tattoo, but when I meet someone new I get a kick out of watching their face when they take it in."

I smiled remembering my own reaction when I first met him. "I guess I fell into the category of shocked when I first saw it too." I admitted.

"Actually, I thought you did pretty well. I remember a double take, which is unusual, most people can't bring themselves to look at it a second time. But you struck me as stronger than most people right off the bat because of that. Then every time you spoke to me you always looked me in the eye. I knew you were something special because of that. You weren't afraid of me and you seemed to accept me ink and all." He explained making me thankful my dad taught me to never be afraid to look someone in the eye.

Our lunch wound down and I helped him gather the trash in his bag to throw away downstairs. I glanced up at the sky and took a deep breath.

"Thank you for bringing me up here. I hadn't thought about the roof as a place to be outside and feeling the sunshine has been wonderful." I remarked.

"I thought you'd like it," He replied with a smile.

We walked back to the elevator to go back to work. On the ride down he asked, "Early night tonight?"

I grinned and responded, "Late night surveillance?"

That got me the chuckle I had only heard on the phone and the pieces fell into place. I can't believe I didn't put the voice, the laugh and the conversation together to realize I had been talking to Cal.

"Something like that," He admitted.

"Well then I plan on being in my apartment and if my phone rings I'll definitely answer it," I teased as the doors opened on five.

"Then I'll talk to you later, Angel," Cal said before turning to head to the control room.

Without thinking it through I went straight to my cubicle and sat down. I sent Tank an e-mail asking if he could call Hanson to come and talk to me about my legal options with Morelli. While I was at my desk a few of the guys stopped by to chat. It felt good to be surrounded by the buzz of the office. I'd forgotten the feel of being a part of the group and realized I'd missed it.

My reflections were interrupted by Les who stopped and tussled my hair. "Hey it looks like you found your way back to your old desk."

I laughed, and sat back to see what Lester had for me. Seeing I was waiting on him he lowered his voice a little and stepped closer. "I just stopped by to tell you Mac, the guy we talked about yesterday, will be in Bobby's office at 4:00. It is completely your choice if you want to drop by and chat, but we wanted you to know he had time to see you if you were interested."

I'm not sure what type of reaction he was expecting. I couldn't quite place the expression on Lester's face. I think it bordered on nervous, but I couldn't be sure since I don't think I can recall ever seeing him anxious before. I took a deep breath. I knew I needed some help and I knew how hard it must have been for the guys to bring up the idea of a therapist to me.

"Tell Bobby I'll be knocking on his door at 4:00," I told him and watched his face break into a big smile.

He leaned over to hug me and whispered, "I'm proud of you Beautiful," in my right ear. I decided to try running my searches from my desk to see how it felt and before I knew it, the time had come for me to head down to Bobby's office.

The idea of meeting a stranger was making me nervous. The guys had been great about the changes in me, much better than I gave them credit for, but this was someone who had never seen me before. Would he stare? If he did, how would I handle it? I shook my head trying to get rid of the doubts and insecurities and then reminded myself this was exactly why I needed to see him. I wanted to be back to my old self so I quickly picked up my fist and knocked three times.

Bobby immediately opened the door as though he had been standing right there waiting on my arrival.

I let out a shaky breath and followed Bobby in. Sitting in the guest chair beside his desk was a man in his mid-forties. He was wearing olive dress pants and a white polo shirt that was stretched across his arms showing off the developed muscles there. Geez, was it a requirement that a man had to be well built in order to enter the building?

No sooner had the thought passed my mind did the two men begin to laugh.

Bobby spoke first, "It's not a requirement, but it sure makes us feel good that you notice." Then he took my cold hand and rubbed it between his warm ones pulling me to the chair beside his.

"Steph, this is John MacNair, but we just call him Mac." Bobby began the introductions.

"It's nice to meet you," My Burg upbringing demanded me to respond.

"I am so happy to finally meet you too," He answered revealing a friendly voice and a kind smile. I relaxed a little that he seemed to be a normal guy. I don't know what I was expecting, but I didn't see spectacles on the end of his nose, or a legal pad and pen to write all the silly thoughts I shared, so I instantly knew this would be easier than I had imagined.

Mac spoke again, "Normally I meet one-on-one with people, but because of the nature of what you have been through, if you would prefer for Bobby to stay in here with us I would completely understand."

I thought about what he was offering. It would be great to have Bobby with me, but I also knew I might not be able to say some of what needed to be said if I had to worry about it upsetting one of my friends. I remembered Cal's growl on the phone last night and didn't want to make anyone else angry.

I looked at Bobby who was waiting for my response. "Thank you for being willing to stay, but if you guys trust him, I'm sure it will be alright."

Bobby smiled and gave me the phrase that I apparently needed to hear, "I'm proud of you Bomber." My heart felt warmer at his encouragement. When he stood up to walk out he promised to be back in an hour, but told us we could just leave whenever we were done.

My hands gripped the arms of my chair a little tighter but I knew it would be okay.

Mac was easy to talk to and had me at ease fairly quickly. We talked about my history with Joe and he asked a lot of questions, some of which required me to really think through the answers, but I promised myself if I was going to see a therapist I would try to be honest in all my responses and I kept my promise.

The hour ended quickly and Mac asked if he could come back the day after tomorrow. He also gave me his card and circled his cell phone number. "If you need anything, you can call me at any time. I don't usually hand out my number to people, but I've heard about you from the guys for a couple of years now. I honestly didn't believe them when they described you. Their version of the Bombshell seemed too good to be true, but now that we've met and I've seen your resilience myself, if anything they underestimated what you are capable of. It may not seem like it now, but you're going to be okay," He promised before standing leave.

I knew they guys would be curious about how I responded to talking to someone, but after being around people and being so exposed I wanted to retreat to my apartment. But this time it didn't feel like hiding, it felt like going home to relax after a long and exhausting day. And for that I was grateful.

I heated up some of Ella's soup for dinner and checked my e-mail. Tank replied to my request for a meeting with the attorney and said Hanson was eager to meet with me as well. He would be at the office tomorrow morning at 10:00. I wasn't sure what could be done, but I was glad to know I would at least have my options laid out for me.

Tank also hinted that if I was bored with the steady stream of searches, he had another special project he could use my help on if I was interested. I quickly replied that I would be glad to help out in anyway I could and would stop by to chat about it after my meeting with Hanson in the morning.

I was distracted answering the e-mail and realized when I shut down the computer that my soup bowl was empty. I didn't want anything else, but couldn't help but note that for the first time in a long time I finished my dinner. Maybe things were looking up.

At 10:00 my cell phone rang. I looked at it suspiciously and wondered if I should answer it. I jumped up and pressed talk as I paced to the door of my apartment. Morelli's voice met me on the other end as I suspected it would, "Cupcake?" He said tentatively.

"Don't call me again, Joe," I said before hanging up. I stood at the door wondering what I was going to do? There were already tears on my cheeks, but I wasn't falling apart at the seams. It was more like I was morning the loss of something. My Joe was gone and that was worth mourning.

Ten minutes later my house phone rang. It pulled me from my stance at the door and I dashed to the couch to answer it.

"Hey Steph, how are you?" Cal asked, but his voice didn't have its normal friendly tone to it. "Has something happened?"

"Why do you ask?" I questioned him grabbing a tissue to blot my eyes and blow my nose as silently as possible.

"You don't sound like yourself; you sound like you're upset." He explained.

I couldn't believe he knew me well enough to know that over the phone. So much for being a good actress.

"I just got a phone call on my cell," I began.

"You mean I'm not the only guy who bugs you on the phone." He interrupted trying to lighten my mood.

"You don't bug me," I stated mater-of-factly.

"Maybe not, but I did interrupt," He apologized. "Did this other phone caller upset you?"

"It was Morelli," I told him.

"What?" He growled out. "What did that piece of shit want?"

"I don't know, He said my name and I told him not to call me again before I hung up on him." I explained.

"Good for you," He praised me. "Then what did you do?"

I hesitated before answering. How did you explain that you stood frozen in place for ten minutes not sure what you should do?

"Not much. I was in a bit of a daze until you called," Let's see how honesty worked.

"My Angel, I think Morelli may need a gentle reminder of the purpose of a restraining order. He isn't supposed to call or see you at all. Are you going to report this?" Cal asked.

I knew the guys would want me to, but I was confused about what good it would do. Instead I decided to try sticking my head in the sand a little longer, "I have a meeting with Hanson at 10:00 tomorrow. I think I'll tell him and see if it changes anything about what he suggests we do."

I waited to see what kind of response that would bring.

"I'm guessing Hanson will tell you to use this to nail Morelli's ass to the wall, but you have to do what feels right for you." He advised.

Hmm, here was a guy who obviously had a strong opinion, but he wasn't forcing it on me. I wasn't used to anyone talking to me without telling me what I should do.

"Are you okay?" He asked when the silence stretched for a few seconds.

"Strangely, I think I am. I'm not saying I didn't freak out a little when I first heard his voice, but I didn't fall apart like I did the last time he called. Maybe talking to Mac today helped." I admitted.

"You met Mac?" Cal asked surprised.

"Yea," I was suddenly unsure if I wanted to admit how much of a hard time I was having with all of this. Talking to Cal had been easy, but I didn't want him to think I was nuts. "I've been having some pretty graphic dreams and then when Morelli called the first time and I didn't handle it well at all Bobby and Les thought this might be helpful. I met him today for the first time and it wasn't what I expected."

"He's a good guy. He has a way of getting you to talk without you realizing it doesn't he?" How did Cal know that?

"Have you ever…" I stopped, wondering if I was getting too much into Cal's life and perhaps shouldn't have asked that question.

"It's alright Steph. I mean, I would rather have not needed it, but at the time it was a huge help. I've talked to him a few times over the last couple of years. He helped me to get some perspective about things. I'm glad they brought him in for you. I know a lot of us have used him so there is nothing to be embarrassed about it. In our line of work there are things that will sometimes get to you no matter how much you try to shut off your emotions."

"Wow, I don't think I can get used to you sharing so freely," I blurted out.

"What do you mean? I've been talking to you on the phone for days now." He countered.

I didn't want to tell him until today at lunch I had no idea it was him I had been talking to so instead I just went with, "Yes, but you've been giving me details from your biography. This was a little more than that."

"I hear you stayed on five this afternoon," He changed the subject for me.

"I thought I'd see if a change of scenery helped my productivity." I replied with a little sass in my voice.

"Did it?" He joked.

"No, I was constantly interrupted by people stopping by to check on me." I replied.

He thought that was funny, "I told you we missed seeing you. If you could bear to be around us a little more, the regular interruptions might ease up a little."

"I'll see if I can take the torture of being surrounding by a bunch of guys who care about me and are checking to be sure I'm alright again tomorrow." I wanted to try it at least.

"Hey, I've got some movement I'm going to need to tail. My shift will be done at 11:00, so I'll be on for a morning workout. Do you want to grab some breakfast after?" He offered as he cranked up his truck.

"Sure, I'll be done before you, so just knock on my apartment door when you're ready," I liked the idea of eating breakfast with someone.

"Alright. It's a deal." He said with a smile in his voice. I wished he were here so that I could see that single dimple appear.

"Goodnight Cal," I told him softly.

Goodnight Angel," He whispered back.

The next morning passed in a blur. I set an alarm afraid I would miss my usual wake up time and not stir until Cal came calling. Fortunately, it was the alarm that woke me and not another dream. I dressed in a hurry and decided to forgo make-up. Well, I did put on a little lip gloss and one coat of mascara, but that doesn't count as make-up in New Jersey.

I started on the rowing machine as Bobby had shown me the other day and worked until my arms and back were screaming. Then I got on my trusty bike and road for another twenty minutes. During my ride Cal came in with Vince and they went to the weight room together. In a glassed off area of the gym where the free weights were kept, I watched as Cal began his workout. He was wearing some tight gym shorts and a painted on tank top. I didn't even have to check, I felt the drool on my chin.

I couldn't get over the perfection of his body. As he began his lifting routine his arms rippled with each pull of the bar. His right bicep sported a circular Navy emblem tattoo that I had never seen before.

When he turned around to add more weight I saw the exposed skin around his tank. There was a long scar that went the distance from his shoulder to his neck. Because he was far away I couldn't really tell how long it had been there, or if it was a deep scar, but I found it dangerous looking and very sexy as it glistened with a light layer of sweat covering it. I decided I had gotten enough of a work out and should probably leave now while a cold shower might still do me some good. I needed time to fight the urge to run my hand over that mark on his back.

As I got ready to head back up Cal turned around and looked at me. He flashed me a full smile which I returned with a wave as I left. From the edge of my eye I noticed he was watching me exit until Vince threw a towel at him.

I took a long cool shower and focused my attention on the task at hand. I needed to pick out an outfit that would fit and not be too baggy. I dried off and stood in front of my closet at a loss. I picked a white cotton t-shirt which had been fitted, but was now just loose enough that I thought it would stay tucked in. I went through several pairs of pants before going with a pair of skinny jeans that were hanging more like a relaxed fit, but I thought were passable.

I ran some gel through my hair and decided to skip curling it. The down side to this was that I couldn't make the ends go the direction I wanted to insuring it fell in the right way to hide my neck. But, I wanted to try it this way because I was beginning to get tired of having to fix it completely everyday. I may not be able to wear it as a ponytail anymore, but I couldn't bear the idea of having to pull out curlers every morning either.

I put on real make-up, finishing the eye shadow and second coat of mascara just as a knock sounded at the door. I threw all my beauty tools under the bathroom cabinet. I may not be fooling anyone that I look this way naturally, but I didn't need to leave the evidence of just how much was involved in the transformation sitting out either.

I opened the door to see a smiling Cal with a white box. I took it from his hands with a grin and announced, "If this box has what I think it does, then you are a god."

He laughed as I sat it on the kitchen cabinet, tore the top off and immediately bit into a Boston Cream closing my eyes to let the taste fully hit my mouth.

He stood off to the side for a minute as though he were waiting for something.

When I opened my eyes he was watching me so I pushed the food in my mouth to the side to talk around it. "Don't you want some?" I managed to say without choking.

He stepped forward and grabbed a jelly-filled continuing to watch me eat. Finally it got to me and I asked, "What?"

"Nothing, it's just that I haven't heard you moan in a long time and I had hoped your favorite breakfast might do the trick. I thought we were close when you closed you eyes, but I guess you're heart still isn't back into eating yet is it?" He answered.

I licked the chocolate icing off my fingers to buy some time to formulate my answer. "I lost my taste for it for a while, but since lunch yesterday I've done better. I think I'll be myself soon. I didn't realize you guys had noticed." I admitted.

He licked a bit of jelly as it tried to escape from the doughnut onto the edge of his thumb. I had to remind myself to keep my own lips closed. No matter how much I might want to help, my tongue needed to stay in my mouth.

"It's like I told you. You've made a huge impact on all of us. There is something about you that sort of glues the rest of us together. When you are off in someway we all feel it even if we don't know what's going on. But the way you like to eat has to be the biggest thing we all love to experience, even if it is a little difficult to hear from time to time. When you don't enjoy eating, it's obvious something is wrong. I guess I wanted to try and help." He explained.

I had moved to lean against the bar while he was talking which put us much closer together. When he finished I put my hand on his lower arm and rested it there for a moment. "You are helping. You in particular are helping." I assured him before taking my hand back.

We changed the subject and talked about our days. Cal knew about my meeting with Hanson in a couple of hours, and was really interested in the project from Tank. I had already told him about the CD's I'd watched and he wasn't at all surprised that I saw something. He shared my excitement that I would have something besides the monotony of searches to keep me busy. He'd been out of the office a lot lately which meant he had a day of monitors and desk work to look forward to.

We were getting ready to head upstairs when he turned around suddenly and looked at me intently. I was uncertain what he was doing, but waited patiently as he seemed to be trying to make a decision.

"I know you haven't left the building in a while, but depending on what your discussion with Hanson is like, would you like to meet my Gamma?"

Both my eyebrows shot up. It wasn't because I lacked the ability to isolate one, but because I was truly shocked. I certainly didn't expect an invitation to meet his grandmother to come from breakfast.

He pressed on, "She lives a little way out of town and I usually go on Thursday night. She would love to meet you and I think you would enjoy her take on life too. I don't want to pressure you, but if you would like to go, I would be honored to introduce you."

I hesitated for a minute and saw his face fall slightly. "I would love to go. I'll see what Hanson thinks about me being out in the open, but if he and Tank think it's alright I would love to meet her." I accepted. I made a mental note to call Ella for some clothing help too. I couldn't meet Cal's only family dressed in baggy jeans. Hopefully she would have a suggestion.

I did a little work at my desk to kill the time before my meeting with Hanson. I saw him enter Tank's office and recognized his suit from previous visits he'd made to RangeMan. My phone buzzed and Tank asked me to come to his office.

I was introduced formally even though Hanson and I had seen each other in passing before. I doubted there was any mystery as to who I was since I was the only woman who worked among the guys here.

"Ms. Plum," he began.

I interrupted, "Please call me Stephanie."

With a smile he started over, "Stephanie, I understand you are ready to talk about your legal options regarding the recent attacks with Officer Morelli."

I nodded that he was correct.

"As you are aware, RangeMan filed for a restraining order immediately following your second hospital stay. It was granted quickly and quietly by a judge after conferring with the chief of police. Now as I understand it, he has broken this order on two occasions which I think we should pursue immediately, but if you do not want to, it still gives us some additional options."

"How did you know he had called me?" I asked.

Tank jumped in. "Little Girl, remember, Hector planted some bugs on Morelli's phones and he has been calling your cell from his so we have the phone record as evidence."

I don't know why but I was relieved to know they had discovered this on their own, instead of finding out that Cal had told them of our conversation.

"Obviously, you can still file formal charges whereby we present the evidence in a court of law and try for a jail sentence for his attacks against you." He began. "Your case would be very strong. With the physical evidence collected by the CSI's here, I am confident we could get a conviction."

"If I wanted to do something that would not include bringing this to trial are their any options?" I wondered.

"Yes," He smiled, "I had been told you were reluctant to go to court. We can try to negotiate with the chief regarding Morelli's presence. I don't how successful we could be, but we could try to have him suspended from his position in lieu of dragging the department through a costly legal battle. They might be willing to relieve him of his duties just to avoid that publicity. From what I understand, sentiment at the station is not with Officer Morelli."

"But what good does that do me? If he's suspended or fired he will just have more time at home to drink and plan a way to get back at the person who cost him his job." I complained.

"We could go to a judge with the evidence of his violation of the restraining order which would be cause to have him arrested and held in the local jail. Perhaps that type of wake up call would help him to understand what he's done." Hanson offered.

"No, that isn't going to work. It would humiliate him in the Burg and leave me just as vulnerable as before." Suddenly I realized why victims so often had to live with no real justice for the crimes committed against them.

Hanson tried one more time, "Perhaps we should have a joint discussion with the chief of police and explain to him that you would prefer to not have a public trial, but you feel with the status quo, you are not safely defended against future attacks from Officer Morelli. He may have a creative solution."

I thought about that option and even though I didn't really like it either, it seemed the only choice at the moment. "Okay, let's try that. Would I need to go there?"

"I think it is preferable if Tank can arrange for your security," He admitted.

Tank nodded and I knew whenever this meeting happened, it would be with a long row of black SUV's and multiple armed guards.

I thanked him for his time when he stood up to leave.

"It really was a pleasure to meet you Stephanie. I have heard so much about you from Ranger over the past couple years that I was anxious to meet you myself. I still have several employment contracts he had me complete on your behalf if you ever want to discuss your formal relationship with RangeMan." He added over our extended handshake.

I had no interest in reading employment contracts right now but still managed a polite goodbye.

Tank shut the door behind our guest and then walked over to me and wrapped me in his long arms. I allowed the feeling of safety to flood over me and I relaxed completely.

When he broke the silence it was to ask, "Now I believe you want to go somewhere this evening?"

"What do you mean?" I asked a little defensively.

Tank rumbled a laugh, the vibrations of which tickled my cheek. "Cal wanted to take me to his grandmother's house tonight, but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to go." I admitted.

He pulled back and looked at the employee schedule on his computer briefly. "Of course you can go. You and Cal will go in his truck, followed by Vince and Binkie who will be outside while you're there."

"Tank," I whined somehow finding three syllables in four letters.

"Hey, we take care of our own and if you're going to leave the building to go over the river and through the woods, then the two armed guards are going to go too." Tank said laughing at his nursery rhyme reference.

I stretched as high as I could to plant a light kiss on his cheek. "I never thanked you for all you've done to watch over me." I said as an explanation.

"I think you just did Little Girl," He smiled.


	7. We're Cooking Now

_The character's below were created by and belong to JE._

_Thanks to Jenn (perfectmanhattan) for her Beta work. This story has been a lot more fun with your encouragement and hard work._

**Chapter 7 – We're Cooking Now**

By the time we pulled into the small white house at the end of the cul de sac, I was a nervous wreck. I don't know why I was so worked up, but I was. My palms were sweaty, and I was fidgeting with the tan pencil skirt that Ella "just happened to have" for me in her closet of goodies. I was trying to iron the non-existent wrinkles in the material when Cal took my hand.

"Steph, what's the matter?" He asked getting my full attention with his question.

"What makes you think something is wrong?" I asked, curious with how I gave myself away.

"Well, you haven't stopped fidgeting for the last five miles, and you haven't said a word in twice that distance." He explained gently.

"Oh," I answered eloquently.

He tilted my face up with his hands so that I could see into his eyes and tried to reassure me, "Relax, Gamma loves everyone and she will be especially glad to see you. I have mentioned you some and she is excited about your visit. You don't have to worry, you will be completely safe here, Binkie and Vince will keep a look out and we'll be back to Haywood in a couple of hours."

He stroked my cheek with his thumb and smiled at me. I took a deep breath and said, "Okay, let's go."

Before we could reach the door it was flung open by an adorable, small woman. She was slightly hunched over and had her grey hair pulled up into a neat bun. She was grinning from ear to ear as she reached up for Cal's face. He bent over to embrace her and the difference in her frail frame compared to his strong one was striking.

As they pulled apart she kept Cal's hand firmly in hers and turned her attention to me. "This must be your Angel, Stephanie."

"Yes, hi, I'm so glad to meet you, especially after all Cal has told me about you." I might be nervous, but I am never rude.

Gamma dropped Cal's hand and took two steps to me smiling all the way. She took my hand in hers and squeezed. I saw kindness in her eyes and liked her immediately. Without warning she drew me to her in a hug and whispered in my ear, "Don't you worry dear, you are going to be just fine."

I didn't know what to say. Was she just being encouraging or was she trying to say she had some sort of knowledge of the future? Cal had never mentioned his grandmother having "the eye" so I hoped that wasn't it.

She threw a wave to the guys in the Explorer behind Cal's truck. "Is that Vince and Michael?"

Cal confirmed her suspicions with a simple nod.

"Michael?" I asked him quietly.

"What?" He responded with a smile. "Did you really think his parents named him Binkie?"

We were ushered straight to the dinner table which had a spread of food that rivaled a buffet. Behind the table on a hutch was an assortment of two cakes, a pie and some sort of bread with a glaze on it. My mouth was watering already. As soon as Cal pulled out the chair for me to sit down my stomach decided to voice its approval of the sights and smells around us. I blushed and then remembered that I should be hungry. I had gotten so caught up working and thinking this afternoon that I had only eaten an apple since the doughnuts with Cal this morning.

Dishes were passed around and before I knew it, my plate had chicken pot pie, fried apples, sautéed green beans, a slice of ham, mashed potatoes and a biscuit. I looked at Cal confused as I certainly didn't remember putting all of that there. He grinned at glanced at Gamma who was beside me. "Just eat what you can, she loves to cook and understands that you can't finish it all." I relaxed a little. I may be hungry but I definitely couldn't handle all this.

Gamma talked to us about what we were working on and amazed me at her ability to ask informed questions about the process of tracking down skips. Clearly she was used to Cal's life and supported him in what he was doing.

I ate some as we talked, but I was distracted by the fascinating woman to my left. When dinner was finished, she swept my plate away and brought out another dinner plate for each of us while instructing us to go to the hutch and get what we wanted. A woman who served dessert on a large dinner plate was someone I was destined to love. Cal took my plate and put a small piece of everything on it. He winked and told me, "Just see what you like."

I did have to admit her red velvet cake was delicious. The creamy filling against the red tinted chocolate layers was perfect and moist. I closed my eyes to savor the flavor. When I opened them both Cal and his grandmother were starring at me. I was unsure if I had done something wrong, but Gamma patted my hand nearest her and said, "Don't worry dear, it will come back to you soon. You're nearly there, you just need to remember how to relax and let yourself go."

I was strangely comforted by her words even though I wasn't sure I fully understood them.

When our time with Gamma was over, she packed up large bags to go for each of us and ones for Vince and Binkie, who I would never remember to call Michael.

She walked us to the edge of the porch to hug us both. Asking for a promise that I would return, and when I readily agreed, she kissed my cheek. With Cal she lingered at his ear and said something to him quietly. He seemed to blush slightly at whatever her words were.

The drive back only seemed half as long as the one to get there. When we were a few blocks away Cal's cell phone rang.

"Yo," he answered showing his passing scores in the RangeMan phone etiquette class.

There was silence for a few minutes before he swore and then pulled over the side of the road. "Thanks man," he managed before closing his phone and turning in his seat to face me.

His index finger ran along my hairline for a minute before he spoke. "Steph, that was Woody on monitors. It seems Officer Morelli just pulled up at the garage at Haywood and is standing outside his car. Would you like to go back to Gamma's house to spend the night?"

"Why?" I asked, curious as to why he didn't suggest some of the guys just remove him from RangeMan property.

"Because he is on public property and we can't forcibly remove him. As long as you aren't in the building, we can't report him for violating the restraining order. Therefore he has the right to stand on any street he chooses to." Cal answered addressing what I assumed was a silent thought.

"Well, can you just drive into the garage and I'll get out quickly?" I wondered.

"Of course, but I wasn't sure if you wanted to do that or not. You shouldn't have to run into your home. You shouldn't have to see him at all for that matter." He said, his temper beginning to show, despite his efforts to contain it.

"No, I'm not hiding. He has done enough to change my life; I refuse to just go somewhere else and give up the safety of RangeMan too after having to leave my apartment." I said with my resolve growing.

"I'll be right beside you and Binkie and Vince will not allow him onto the property." He promised.

I saw Joe standing against his Ford as we approached the driveway. He was straining to see into the tinted windows of the truck at night.

The gate rose as we approached and Cal pulled in, driving straight up to the elevator leaving the car in the middle of the lot. Vince and Binkie pulled in behind us but blocked the driveway with their Explorer and jumped out immediately.

When they got out Joe began walking towards them. Cal nodded at me and I opened my door to get out.

I could hear Joe yelling, "Cupcake, Stephanie, please! I only wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry." He was pleading to be heard, which only made it worse. It was easier to deal with this when I thought of him as cold and angry, but as was his pattern, when he realized what the alcohol had caused him to do, he became repentant and begged for forgiveness.

I could hear the guys telling him to leave or they would call the chief about his violating the restraining order. "You can't keep me from seeing my girlfriend," Joe yelled with his own temper building.

I couldn't take anymore and bolted to the stairwell instead of waiting any longer for the elevator.

I was up the first two flights of stairs before the first tear fell, but once it started I couldn't stop, I stopped running immediately and crumpled to a heap on the landing between floors. Cal easily caught up with me and wrapped me in his strong arms.

He rocked me while gently whispering calming words softly in my ears. "Angel, I've got you…you are safe here…I promise you…you're safe." I believed him and wanted to tell him the tears were not out of fear but out of anger.

He picked me up easily and climbed the next two floors with me in his arms. He took me to my apartment and sat me on my feet when we got to the door. I pulled out my key and unlocked the door, grabbing his hand to pull him in with me. I needed to be sure Cal understood why I had cried.

We settled inside and I explained to him how I was angry that Joe had shown up here, that he had tried to talk to me and that he called me his girlfriend when we had been broken up for months. I complained that he had apologized before and his words were hollow and meaningless to me because I had heard them before. I finally stopped my rant by saying that I was primarily furious that Joe had ruined the ending to what had been a perfect night and that I was sorry he had interrupted Cal's night too.

Cal pulled me to him and said, "You're mad because you think Joe ruined my night and until he showed up you considered it to be perfect?"

I said yes drying my eyes and trying to discretely wipe my nose.

"Oh Steph, you always put us ahead of yourself. Can I tell you what I think?" He asked.

I looked at him to see what he wanted to say.

"I think you are the sweetest woman I've ever met. Your heart was hurting because you think the suffering you are under is affecting someone else. I can't believe that in the middle of all you have been through that you are worried about me." Cal said with a serious expression.

I wanted to believe him.

We sat in silence after that and he held me against his chest. I drifted to sleep in his arms with no further worries about Joe.

In my dream I was being chased down an alley. I kept trying to find a place to hide, but I wouldn't fit anywhere. People were laughing at my attempts to find safety and when I finally found a place to slip out of the dark passage, Joe was on the other side. I sat up and screamed "No!" at the top of my lungs.

It took me a minute to realize I was in my bed, in my apartment, alone.

Suddenly the door to my bedroom burst open causing me to let out a surprised yell before I could focus on the figure standing there. Cal was walking toward me talking.

"It's alright Steph, it was just a dream," He assured me as he drew me into his arms. I melted into him and tried to calm myself back down.

It only took a few minutes for me to get a grip and I pulled away from him slightly to sit up.

He looked at me puzzled.

"I'm sorry I scared you," I apologized.

"What was it?" He asked tucking a curl behind my ear.

"The dream?" I clarified, trying to stall talking about it.

He nodded before adding, "Sometimes it helps to talk about it."

I told him about the image and my struggle to fit in, only to be captured by Joe when I thought I had finally found a good place to hide. Saying it out loud it, seemed so clear that it was just a metaphor for Joe showing up last night trying to take away the safety Haywood had always held for me.

"It will get better, Angel," Cal assured me. "And I'll be here with you every step of the way," He promised.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly 5:00. I took two deep breaths and then asked, "Gym?"

Cal smiled. "When you don't know what to do, just do the next thing. If you keep doing the next thing long enough, you'll find you suddenly know what to do. The gym sounds perfect, just let me change."

I went to the bathroom and got ready faster than normal.

When Cal returned dressed for a workout, I was ready to leave. The time in the gym went much faster than usual. We split up into our own routines, but I could tell he was keeping an eye on me. I thought about it, and instead of it irritating me to have someone watching over me protectively, I found it tender and endearing.

When I was finished I went to the weight room where he was and told him to finish here because I was just going to shower and get ready for work.

"Hey Steph," He called out as I began to walk away.

"Are you free for dinner?" He asked.

"I think I could fit it in," I teased.

"How would you feel about coming to my apartment so that I can cook for you? Gamma suggested something last night that you might enjoy so I'll make it for you if you'd like." He was definitely giving me the option of saying no.

"What time?" I smiled as I accepted.

"6:00?"

"See you then," I said turning to leave and face another day.

Tank had another project for me. After giving the disks and the information I found to the client they asked him to see if I could tie anything together regarding what the employees involved were doing. They provided some additional security tapes, a copy of the check they filed as well as the personnel files of the two employees involved. I thought it was a long shot that I could find a connection, but agreed to look into it. I began by running background searches on both of the employees and the company that had written the check they filed instead of depositing. I would look over the information later.

While it was printing Tank came over and sat on my desk, "Little Girl, we need to talk."

"Have a seat," I teased pointing to his rear on my paperwork.

"Morelli is getting to be a problem. Are you sure you won't press charges?" He asked.

I felt a mild headache coming on and rubbed my temples in response.

"Just think about it, but in the meantime, we have an appointment with the chief and Hanson on Monday morning at 9:00. Between now and then think it through. We'll support you no matter what you choose, I just want to be sure you do what's right for you." He said.

I put my hand on his and squeezed slightly. "Thank you. I really don't want to go through the ordeal of trial if it can be avoided, but if the chief thinks that is the right thing to do, then I'll do it."

He seemed satisfied with that answer and stood up to leave.

I jumped back into my work and it wasn't until my phone rang that I realized it was almost 4:00. I just let it go into voicemail, not really caring who was trying to reach me and instead got up to see Mac in Bobby's office.

For the next hour I talked about Joe and my tears last night, as well as my reaction to his other two calls. Mac seemed encouraged that my reactions were different each time. As though I were progressing through different things proving I wasn't stuck in the role of helpless victim. By the time the session was over and our time was up, I felt better and more secure in my progress.

I stood up to leave and had to tug at the waist of my pants to pull them back up, noticing the movement, Mac asked about my eating habits. My shoulders fell slightly and I told him that I wasn't finding much pleasure in food anymore and how I often forgot to eat if I was involved in something else. I told him that since the incidents with Joe, I had lost quite a bit of weight.

He nodded and told me that it was perfectly normal, but he didn't want me to let it go too far. "Depression after an event like this is your body's way of protecting you. The emotions of what you have been through would be overwhelming all at once, so your body shuts down its reactions to everything which dulls your senses. As you begin to get a handle on what has happened and how you feel about it, you will begin to open yourself up to the full experience of what you are doing now. When that happens you will enjoy things more and I expect your food will begin to taste the way it used to. I'll bet your trademark moaning will return too." He said with a wink, telling me the guys had been talking about me again.

"I'm holding you to it Mac," I said as I walked out of the office.

I took my time going back to four and checked my clothes and makeup for any adjustments that needed to be made before dinner at Cal's. Unfortunately it was only 5:30. I tried to entertain myself but only managed to chew up five minutes. I couldn't take the waiting any longer so I left and walked across the hall to Cal's apartment earlier than we agreed.

It took him a few minutes to answer the door and he smiled instantly when he saw it was me. He wasn't wearing a shirt and his hands had some sort of ivory colored sticky substance on them.

He pulled the door wide open to let me in.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "And why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Not that I was complaining about the last part.

"I'm making our dessert and I tend to make a bit of a mess when I bake so I don't bother to wear a shirt." He explained leading me to his kitchen. In a large wooden bowl he was kneading dough with his hands.

He reached out and pointed to the sink. "What?" I asked.

"Wash your hands so you can help." He instructed.

"But I don't cook," I said trying to warn him that I didn't belong in a kitchen unless someone needed a taste tester.

"I'm not asking you to cook, I'm asking you to play." He answered.

I scrubbed my hands and rolled my sleeves up higher. Cal grabbed my hands and pushed them into the dough with his. It was sticky and slightly warm.

He stood behind me and threaded his arms under mine to guide my hands. I couldn't help but think about my back pressed against his hard bare chest. He showed me how to fold the dough over and incorporate some flour into the elastic mixture. Once it was smooth to his satisfaction he dumped it on the flour dusted counter and we pressed on it to spread it out into a thin rectangle.

"It's just like playing with play dough," He said keeping me at ease.

When he was satisfied that it was even enough, he gave me a bowl of softened butter and told me to spread it over the top.

"Where's a knife?" I asked looking for a utensil.

Hal smiled, took my outstretched hand and smacked it into the bowl of butter. "No knife, use your hands."

I wrinkled my nose at the strange sensation of the greasy butter against the dough on the bottom but did as he said and spread it all over the exposed dough. It was just like finger painting. Without thinking about it, I began to make designs in the top.

Next Cal brought me a bowl of something brown. He put his hand in and withdrew a large handful of cinnamon and brown sugar mixed together, before generously sprinkling it over the butter. He motioned for me to do the same thing so I copied him with my buttered fingers and felt like I was playing in a sandbox.

"This is like kindergarten all over again," I commented.

"What?" Cal asked not following my mental analogy.

"First it was play dough, then finger-painting, and now it's the sandbox," I explained.

"Actually, it's cinnamon rolls, made from scratch." He told me, ending the mystery of what we were doing.

We washed our hands and he took mine to dust them with flour. I wanted to ask why we bothered washing them if we were only going to get them dirty again but figured I shouldn't interrupt. Besides watching his pecks move as his hands held mine was temporarily distracting.

He used his finger to motion that I should join him and he positioned me in front of the rectangle of dough. Standing behind me again he threaded his arms over mine to move my hands. He showed me how to roll the dough, being careful to keep it tight. Then he gave me a towel to clean up while he expertly sliced the roll into two inch pieces and put them on their side in a pan.

When he was finished, he covered the pan and set it to the side. "They only take twenty minutes to cook, but they will need at least another hour to rise again before we can bake them. Do you feel like helping with dinner too?" He asked.

"Since I did show up early and completely unannounced, it's the least I could do," I told him, glad to be helpful in some way.

Much to my disappointment, which I'm not entirely sure I kept hidden from my face, he put his shirt back on to cook. Seeing that I was watching him he explained, "I'm done with the flour and since I'm about to turn on hot oil I don't want to risk getting burned."

Cal sat out three pieces of boneless chicken breasts, covered them with wax paper and then gave me a funny looking square metal hammer. I looked at him wondering what he expected me to do so he instructed, "Use the mallet to bang the chicken until it's flat."

I hit it a few times softly but he shook his head and said, "No, you're trying to suggest the chicken get flat, you need to make it get flat." With that he took the mallet and banged it against the meat to show me how it was done.

I took it from him and finished the other two pieces, finding it strangely fun to beat on something for a purpose.

He coated the chicken with some seasonings and flour and put it in the hot oil. He then begin the process of cooking pasta. After he was satisfied with his progress, he turned the chicken while adding some mystery liquids, one of which I could identify as lemon juice, and a whole bunch of herbs and spices. I noticed that he never took the time to measure a thing, he seemed to just throw in a dash of this and a dash of that. Finally he turned to me and said, "Dinner is ready, are you hungry?"

"Sure," I replied, "But how did you do that so quickly?"

"My Gamma thought it was important that I learn how to cook, so I spent a lot of time in the kitchen with her. Last night when we were leaving she suggested I cook for you and let you help too. I never like to go against Gamma's instructions, so…" He handed me a plate to complete his thought.

I took it and inhaled the scent of the lemon chicken over angel hair pasta, a strange looking salad with peas as the main ingredient and a piece of crusty bread.

Before I took my first bite I realized he was watching me. "You're going to have to cut that out," I warned knowing he was waiting to see how I responded.

"Is it obvious?" He asked looking down slightly while still watching me, much like a boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar, but not entirely willing to let go of his prize.

I decided to try and ignore him and took a bite of the chicken in the sauce. It was really good which I quickly told him before taking another bite. I could tell he was hoping for the sound effects I was apparently so well know for, but none came. I told him about Mac's comments and he smiled.

"You're an amazing woman," Was his response.

"I tell you a therapist is talking to me about being depressed and your response is that I'm amazing?" I questioned.

"Yes," He said before taking a drink of water and continuing. "Never mind the fact that most women would have fallen apart after the first attack, but you just keep going after all you have been through. Sure you are struggling a little right now, but even in the midst of that, you haven't lost who you are. You are still putting others ahead of yourself, you're continuing to do great work at your job, and heck, you've even started working out. By my count you are doing so much better than we have a right to expect."

"That may be true, but that's just the outward stuff. I'm still not right inside." I reminded him thinking back to how I lost it last night in the stairwell.

"Okay, so you're a little more emotional, but even that's only after a trigger like a dream or a run in with Morelli. Steph, you need to believe me, you're handling this beautifully," He rested his hand on mine when he spoke and I tried very hard to listen to him and accept his words.

We finished our dinner slowly because we continued to talk about sports and cases from RangeMan. It was so easy to be with Cal. I'd long considered him a friend, but now that I was getting to know him better I realized he was a great man too. He cared for his grandmother deeply and made sure she was taken care of while trying to maintain her independence. He was an amazing cook and had a gift for telling stories that left me hanging on every word. Six months ago I would have lumped him in the nice but too quiet category. Now I believed he was the standard I would compare all other guys to.

We stood in the kitchen while the cinnamon rolls baked and talked some more. I kept waiting for an awkward silence to descend, but it never did. When he bent over to pull the pan from the oven I was overwhelmed at the delicious smell and the sight of his cargos pulled tight over his back side. I licked my lips which he saw as he straightened up. I'm hoping he attributed it to the sticky rolls in his hands, but if I were honest it was all from the view he gave bent over.

We slathered them with cream cheese icing which he had made before I arrived and let it melt into the rolls a little before he lifted one from the middle of the pan and put it on my plate.

"Why didn't you take one from the outside where it was easier?" I asked curious.

"Because the best ones are the ones that are soft and gooey," He explained before adding, "And you deserve nothing but the best."

I took the roll and was about to take a bite when there was a pounding on Cal's door. I could have sworn he rolled his eyes as he moved to open it, but somehow a Merry Man rolling their eyes seemed to be too much to believe.

Standing in the doorway were Les, Bobby, Vince and Junior all smiling. It was Les that spoke first, "You made them didn't you?"

Cal stepped back to let them in and they practically ran him over to get to the cinnamon rolls in the kitchen.

"The guys can usually smell it when I bake and seem to think that automatically means I want to share," He explained.

So the rest of our evening was spent sitting around the den laughing and talking as a group. When it was time to call it a night the guys each told me good night and thanked Cal for the multiple rolls they each took.

When it was just the two of us remaining he smiled at me. "Sorry about that. I'd hoped we would have a little more time before the vultures descended."

I laughed at his description of our friends. "Thank you for tonight," I began wanting to tell him more than I thought I had the words for. "Thank you for all of what you've done for me."

We stood at his door for a few silent moments before he cupped my cheek rubbing it softly with his thumb, "I'd gladly do more if I only knew what to do." He confessed.

I put my hand over his and closed my eyes briefly. When I opened them up he had a look on his face that I couldn't recognize. I was about to ask, but something in my gut told me not to, at least not yet.

Instead I said, "Goodnight Cal," and turned to open the door.

When I was walking through the doorway he replied, "Goodnight Angel."

Thanks to him, it had been.


	8. Trouble in the Camp Now

_None of the characters belong to me. JE created them, I'm just having some fun._

_Once again Jenn (perfectmanhattan) you have made this story better with your Beta skills and your skillful suggestions. Thank you!_

**Chapter 8 – Trouble in the Camp Now**

The weekend was fairly quiet around Haywood. Tank and Les went to Boston to coordinate the take down of a man wanted by the feds. A few of the other guys were out of town trying to enjoy the last days of summer. I yearned to join them, but couldn't bring myself to do it.

I spent the weekend working, trying to find some connection between the client who reported theft by their employees and the two women I saw hiding a check instead of depositing it. Unfortunately I came up empty at every turn. Short of talking to the staff, I didn't see any other angle to approach the problem. Sunday evening I typed up all of my comments concerning the matter and packed the paperwork up to return to Tank along with the disks.

I was channel surfing trying to find something to watch until I felt sleepy when I heard a knock on my door. I could hear multiple voices on the other side letting me know the Merry Men had come to check on me. I hadn't been hiding in my apartment over the weekend, but I hadn't really come out that often either.

When I opened the door Les stuck his head in grinning from ear to ear. He was quickly followed by Cal, Bobby, Vince and Junior. As they paraded past me I sarcastically said, "Please, come in and make yourself at home."

Bobby replied, "Don't worry Bomber, we didn't come empty handed," and from his back his produced a plate with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. "Ella just took them out of the oven, but we didn't feel like we could eat them without sharing with you."

I smiled at their thoughtfulness. "Well, I guess I better get the milk," I offered.

Seeing these five large men crowded around my bar dipping their treats in cold milk was an amusing sight. I ate a cookie too, but found myself too distracted at watching them to eat any more than that.

We moved to the den when the plate held only crumbs. I found myself on the couch between Cal and Lester. Vince grabbed my remote and put on the Yankees' game. They were showing off against the Rays leading by five in the bottom of the fourth inning.

I leaned over to Cal, "Sorry you have to watch the better team tonight instead of your Sox."

He smiled and lifted his arm so that I could lean into his side. "I'll watch this and hold out hope that the Rays will find a way to come back, allowing the better team to win."

I loved being able to pick on Cal about sports. It was easy. While I leaned into him I felt myself relax and realized that almost everything with Cal was easy. I had missed talking to him and seeing him the last day and half. On Saturday Cal had to go out of town to pick up a skip, so he was away for most of the day, and I had been in my apartment all of today. He dropped his hand on my shoulder lightly carefully watching me for any hint that I was uncomfortable.

I looked up and smiled at him hoping it conveyed that I liked the feel of his arm on me. Apparently my expression did the trick because when I looked back at the television he began to slowly trail his fingers up and down my upper arm.

When the game was over the guys continued to complain about the calls they disagreed with and reenacted the one hilarious error in the last inning where two of the Rays collided in the outfield.

I stood at the door as each of my guests filed out stopping to pull a curl or touch my nose. Les was the next to the last one out the door and he placed a soft kiss on my right cheek. I lifted my face to meet him half way allowing my hair to fall back slightly, but when he finished I quickly used my left hand to push my hair back around my neck.

My attempt to keep my neck covered was not lost on Cal. I noticed him watching me when Les walked away and for a brief moment I just looked back at him, neither of us speaking.

"You don't need to do that, you know," Cal said walking closer to me.

I looked down, embarrassed to have been caught trying to hide the glaring imperfection on my neck. When he was a mere three inches away he lifted his hand slightly, looking in my eyes, and asked, "May I?"

He seemed to be pointing to my neck so I assumed he wanted to look at my scar. I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat, but was determined that I wouldn't freak out.

I nodded and stood very still.

Cal used his right hand to push my hair back from neck. Then he whispered, "Breathe, Angel. I'm not going to hurt you."

I closed my eyes and tried to follow his direction. Then I felt his left hand come up and lightly touch the scar that formed from the top near my ear down to the bottom of my neck. His touch was so slight it left chills in its wake. After making the path from top to bottom several times he let go of my hair allowing it to fall back down.

I opened my eyes and found his face very near my own. I was seized with the desire to touch him, but was hesitant to let my hands move.

We stood facing one another until Cal whispered, "You're beautiful Stephanie. I've seen the mark you try so hard to hide and I still see the beautiful woman you have always been to me."

He leaned slightly and pressed a kiss to my forehead lingering with his lips on my skin.

When he pulled back he walked to the door, turning around only to say, "Good night, Angel."

The next morning I was awake long before my alarm. I hadn't had a dream, but couldn't sleep anyway. I was anxious about the meeting at the police station with Hanson and the chief. I spent twice as long in the gym trying to burn off my excess energy and to kill some time.

I tried calling my parent's house while I was getting ready to go out. I called every few days, but since I was discharged from the hospital my mother had been furious that I was not forgiving Joe and giving him another chance. She said if I didn't hurry up and come back to him he might move on and then I would have lost my only chance at a happy marriage. No amount of trying to interrupt and explain what happened would work. I don't know why I continued to call. I guess I refused to believe that my mother had given up on me. I got off easy today and was able to leave a message on their machine.

Luckily by the time I briefed Tank on my fruitless efforts over the weekend, it was time to leave.

I got down to the basement with Tank and was shocked at the contingent that was armed to go with us. The first SUV would have Les and Vince. Next would be my car with Tank and Hanson. Finally we would have an SUV with Bobby and Cal trailing our car. When I asked if he was sure that was enough to keep us safe Tank laughed.

I was caught off guard at his laugher. This seemed like a pretty serious situation to me. I looked at Les and he filled me in. "Woody and Junior are already in position across from the parking lot at the station. Ram's on the roof across the street."

"Oh come on Tank, its me, not the President for Pete's sake. Do you really think this is necessary just to meet with the chief in broad daylight at the police station full of cops who are my friends?" I wanted him to see the foolishness of having so many people disrupt their day.

Tank just gave me a look indicating that he did not share my opinion and confirming that he was going to leave all the assignments just as they were.

When we arrived at the station I was pleased to see Big Dog at the front desk. He smiled at me and came over to say hello. I had to part the black sea in order to get to him. The guys didn't look pleased to have me out of the protective circle they had formed. I was enjoying being out in daylight too much to worry about how the Merry Men felt about me breaking rank.

We made our way to the chief's office and were ushered in. Only Tank, Hanson and I went in to meet. The remaining guys seemed to have assigned stations and took their places silently.

The chief was a middle aged man who had been behind a desk too long. He seemed intimidated by the close proximity of Tank and Hanson in his small office. I had to work to mask my smile.

Hanson spoke first thanking the chief for his time and giving a short version of what had happened with Morelli. He described the two attacks and my injuries from each. Then he spoke of the restraining order and how Joe had already broken it once by showing up at Haywood and by calling on three occasions.

I looked up confused at that statement. I only knew of two calls. I knew the guys had Joe's phone bugged so I had to guess they knew of one other attempt to contact me. I wondered when it had happened and was grateful I hadn't answered when he called.

Finally Hanson rested his case by stating, "My client does not want to file formal charges against Officer Morelli, but the concern for her safety is making it clear that there may be no other options. We had hoped you might offer some guidance on how to proceed in order to insure my client's safety and the good reputation of the police department simultaneously."

The chief cleared his throat before speaking. "I had a feeling this would be the reason for our meeting today. I will be honest with you. I was shocked to hear that Joe was drinking excessively. I mean we all know about his dad, but until this came up I always thought he had it together. I know the evidence is there and if this goes to trial, it looks like a conviction would be certain."

"There is a piece of me that thinks this might be for the best, but I don't want to give up on Joe yet. I'd like the chance to talk to him and offer him one last chance."

"What kind of chance?" Hanson asked with an edge to his voice. "I believe he's already had two chances and I'm not sure how my client would fare if he took a third chance at her."

I crossed my arms tightly across my stomach. The way Hanson worded his response made me shiver. I didn't know if I could survive it again.

"No," The chief interrupted. "I meant I'd like to give him the option of entering a treatment facility in Philadelphia. They have a special wing devoted to working with law enforcement and government employees that would be ideal to offer Joe the help he needs. If he will agree to check himself in and complete the four week program, then I will put a good word in for him with a friend of mine who runs the South Philadelphia police department. I'm sure I could get him a job there which would allow him to get his life together, but at a safe distance from Stephanie."

Hanson immediately spoke with a rough voice, "Ms. Plum, would need to be made aware of when he was entering the facility as well as his release and any information regarding how he seemed to respond to their treatment while there."

"Steph…ah Ms. Plum would be given all the information I can get from the doctors there." He assured us.

"And if he doesn't agree to your plan?" Hanson followed up.

"If he doesn't agree, it would be my suggestion that Ms. Plum file assault charges. I hate to see him fall like that, but sometimes a person has to hit bottom to see where they are." The chief admitted sadly.

Hanson and Tank both looked to me waiting for my response.

"If you would be willing to have this discussion with Joe soon I would appreciate it," I said softly.

The chief looked at me, "I'll call him in my office as soon as you are gone and I'll call you when we're finished with our discussion."

I nodded. "Thank you for doing this for Joe. I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but as long as he's out there and still drinking I can't trust that he won't do it again." I explained.

The chief extended his hand and I put my hand in his. "I appreciate you coming to me and giving me the chance to work this out without taking this public. But if he refuses and it comes down to it, I'll support you in anyway I can."

Hanson stood, so Tank and I followed suit. "Thank you for your time today chief. I'll be at the RangeMan office until we hear back from you."

In the hall Tank asked how I was doing.

"Okay, but I'll admit that I'll be glad when we're back at Haywood," I responded.

His face softened, but he did not smile. We were in public and he was in full protective mode so a smile would have seemed out of place. Still, I knew he was pleased with my answer.

He moved closer to say, "We'll have you home soon Little Girl."

Just as he finished talking I could hear raised voices ahead of us. I could identify Eddie telling somebody to just go back where they came from. There were other voices all mixing together so that I couldn't make them out.

Finally one rose above the others. "Eddie, get the hell out of my way. I know she's here, I can see all the hearses in the parking lot. Either somebody is dead or RangeMan is parading their whore through the police station. I want to see my girlfriend."

Apparently I identified Joe's voice at the same time as the guys.

Tank turned to me and instructed, "You stay between Les and Cal no matter what. Understood?"

I shook my head and allowed myself to be flanked by the two guards Tank appointed.

Tank and Hanson went down the hall first, but we hesitated. There was a scuffle before I heard Carl telling Tank they had Joe contained.

Seconds later, Les looked down at his cell phone and read a text message before saying, "Let's roll while it's still clear."

We had taken six steps when I hear another familiar voice, "Dudette!"

I turned and saw Mooner standing behind me with his hands up in the air. "I was just thinking about you and there you are. It's like we're connected, right?" He asked clearly on a different plane than me.

"It's good to see you Mooner," I told him. We chatted briefly as Cal and Les seemed to be impatient to leave. I promised to stop by and watch some television with him soon and allowed the guys to lead me forward.

We passed the evidence room and the hallway that led to the bathroom. When we were coming up on the hallway that led down to the cells, Joe stepped out quickly which threatened his balance.

"Cupcake," He began as Les stepped in front of me and Cal put his hand on the small of my back.

"Officer Morelli, you need to move so that we can pass through," Lester instructed him in a voice so cold and hard I had trouble believing it was my friend speaking.

"I'm not leaving until I get to speak to my Cupcake," He said with a slight slur on the word speak.

Hearing him continue to call me Cupcake despite me telling him to stop, stirred up something in me I can only describe as fury.

I stepped from behind Les and loudly said, "Stop calling me Cupcake! Damn it Joe, just leave me alone."

He was clearly shocked to hear me speak to him like that, but jumped on his opportunity to talk to me.

"Cup…" He started, but caught himself. "Steph, I just wanted to tell you I was sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe that. I just needed you to understand how I felt. If you would give me another…"

I cut him off before he could ask for another chance. I couldn't have this discussion again. "No Joe, I already told you the chances for you and me are over. I'm not coming back. I believe you didn't mean to hurt me, but you did Joe. You put me in the hospital and you broke something very important to me."

"I did not!" He exclaimed. "I looked at the report and I didn't break anything in your apartment."

"Not my apartment." I said exasperated. "You broke my trust in myself. You've made me second guess my instincts and my ability to trust people. That isn't just fixing itself because you said you were sorry. I hope you can get the help you need, but I can't be there for it. I can't help you fix this." I said holding my eyes open widely in order to stop the tears from falling.

Apparently my defiant words snapped something in Joe and he had just enough alcohol in him to prevent his good sense from holding him back.

Joe lunged toward me grabbing my arm in one swift motion. Les grabbed Joe's arm to pull it off of me, but Cal was quicker and hit Joe in the jaw with a right hook. Joe fell back and hit the wall before sliding down to the ground.

"Damn man, what did you do that for?" Lester asked.

"He was hurting Steph," Cal said in his defense.

"I know, but I wanted to be the one to hit him," Les said with the soft voice I identified with my friend.

Cal put his arm around my shoulder and shepherded me out of the station and into the waiting Explorer. He crawled in beside me drawing me to his side.

I fell against him and buried my face against his shoulder. He stroked my hair and made comforting sounds quietly in my ear. I battled tears despite how strongly they wanted to fall. I refused to fall apart again because of Joe.

As the car began to move I felt Cal's hand reach under my hair and lightly massage my neck with his thumb and fingers. I relaxed into his touch as his thumb gradually made its way to the side of my neck. I began to tense up as he drew closer to my scar.

Feeling my tension Cal began to whisper again. "You did beautifully, Steph. I'm sorry I hit Joe, but when he touched you something in me snapped and I had to get his hands off you."

I concentrated on the rich timber of his voice and it wasn't until he stopped speaking that I realized his hand was running around my neck and touching all of my skin, including the scar on each pass by that side.

When Cal touched my scar I didn't feel dirty or broken. He treated it like all the other skin on my neck and it made me feel treasured. I wondered why that was. Maybe because I knew he had scars of his own, or maybe it was because I liked the feel of his hands moving freely anywhere he wanted to place them.

I shook my head to dispel that thought. Cal was my friend. He had been so supportive, but he had never given me any indication that he thought of me in any way other than as a friend. I needed to keep my head on straight. Then I smirked at the idea that it wasn't my head that was the problem, it was my heart. Well, my heart and other positions due south if he kept stroking me like that.

Cal interrupted my internal debate, "Why do I get the feeling there is an entire conversation going on that I'm not hearing?"

I picked up my head and looked in his eyes which were more grey than blue right now. "Because there is," I answered honestly.

"Good. When you come to a conclusion just let me know," He said with a smile.

When I returned his smile I felt the door open beside me and Hanson stood there with his hand out. Cal had been holding my hand on that side and he seemed reluctant to let it go.

I turned back to him and looked down at our entwined fingers. He blushed slightly as he slowly released my hand to climb out. I was ushered to the elevator and straight up to Tank's office.

Hanson slammed his briefcase down on the table in the corner. "Damn that arrogant cop!" He yelled causing me to jump. "To think he could convince you to just forget the whole thing and drop it all."

I involuntarily backed up, but ran into a wall that turned out to be Tank. He put his massive hand on my shoulder and put a finger up to his lips to indicate I should be quiet.

Hanson continued to rant and rave until he finally loosened his tie and fell into a guest chair.

"Now," Tank said taking his finger away from his face indicating I could now talk.

I was about to ask why he was so upset. I mean Hanson hardly knew me, but before I could say a word Zero interrupted on the intercom to tell Tank the chief was on the phone.

Tank put it on speakerphone and told him that Hanson and I were with him in his office.

"Good," The chief replied. "That will make it much easier. I just finished my conversation with Joe." He informed us.

"Was it successful?" Hanson asked with some semblance of professionalism back in his voice.

"No, it wasn't. Stephanie, I'm so sorry, but Joe completely refused to even admit there was a problem," He answered.

Hanson jumped back in, "Ms. Plum was assaulted again in the station before she could even get to the parking lot. You can't expect us to just sit back and allow him to continue hurting her."

The chief spoke up, "I have a tape of what happened and I offer my deepest apologies Stephane."

Hanson seemed to be put out that the chief couldn't remember to address me with more respect. "Ms. Plum isn't interested in apologies. I believe she made that abundantly clear to Officer Morelli at the station."

"I understand," The chief said softer. "In the meantime I have suspended Joe while we look into what has happened. It is a formality of course, but he wasn't happy about it. I can't risk him hurting someone while he is on the clock. His coming into the station drunk this morning was the last straw I needed to take his badge."

"I will review where we stand with my client," Hanson said, "And we'll be in touch with what our next step will be."

A curt goodbye was given and the call was disconnected.

Hanson rubbed his face with his hands. I had only been introduced to him as an attorney, but when he dropped his hands and took off his suit jacket he revealed a sculpted chest under an expensive and tailored dress shirt. I realized he fit in with the Merry Men and wondered what branch of the military he had served in.

Unfortunately, my musing was interrupted when he spoke, "Stephanie, what would you like to do?"

It was my choice and what needed to be done was abundantly clear, but I asked anyway, "What do you suggest?"

"I suggest you let me go to the courthouse today and file with the court accusing Joe of three counts of assault and four counts of breaking a restraining order. I will fight for you Stephanie and I will win. I know you want to avoid the public knowing about this, but you did nothing wrong and the facts are on your side. It's the only way we can make you safe."

I realized Hanson wanted the fight. He was trained to fight and the courtroom was his battlefield, the law his chosen weapon.

"I know it's the right thing to do," I admitted still reluctant to say yes.

"You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to the thousands of other woman who don't have the support you have." He explained.

"What other women?" I asked. It was one thing to let myself down, but if someone else was depending on me I needed to understand why this was important to them.

"Most women who have alcoholic boyfriends who drink and take out their frustrations with their fists on the women they claim to love don't have RangeMan behind them to gather evidence and protect them through the process," He explained. "You need to do this to show them it is possible to get justice. They need to see it. And the men who think it is okay to beat on their girlfriends and toss out an empty 'I'm sorry' afterward need to see it too."

Hanson gave me what I needed. I needed a reason to fight and now I had it. I didn't want to be the topic of every beauty shop in the Burg, but I needed to help the women who didn't have anyone to fight on their side. I never thought about other women who have been in my situation, but now that Hanson brought it to my attention I knew that I needed to do something. I needed to make an example out of my experience. I needed to show them that it is not okay for a man to lay his hands on you, even if realizes his mistakes and apologizes with what seems to be a sincere apology. I needed to press charges against Joe.

"Okay, let's do it," I said softly hoping I would have the strength to see it through.

I looked up at the attorney standing over me and was shocked to see his face. It looked vaguely familiar. I finally made the connection and realized he reminded me of Ranger right before he left on his last mission. Ranger told me he would be gone for a long time, and he was going to have to fight hard, that this wasn't an easy assignment. But, he also told me he would be fine, and he would be back because he was confident in his ability to defeat his opponent. That same confidence and preparation for the fight was on Hanson's face.

Slipping his jacket back on, Hanson picked up his brief case and stopped at my side. "I'll call the chief and tell him we are moving forward and then I'll drop by the courthouse to begin the process. Hopefully the guys at the station will be willing to bring Morelli back to lockup. If not, I believe there is a small army downstairs who would be more than willing to round up the skip if necessary."

As Hanson made his way to the office door I blurted out, "What branch of the military were you in?"

He stopped and turned to face me with a curious smile. "Ma'am, I was a pilot in the Navy until my vision began to worsen and I couldn't pass the eye test. I went to law school after I was discharged."

Hmmm, Hanson was a top gun? Suddenly I had visions of him staring opposite Tom Cruise and realized I needed to get my appetite back so I could start eating more sugar. I had to get a handle on my hormones.

"You certainly don't disappoint," Hanson said with a bit of a laugh. "Just for the record, I'm not singing 'You've Lost that Loving Feeling' to you no matter how much I may admire you now."

Realizing that my thoughts about Top Gun had been out loud, I decided I may as well laugh with them.

When I walked into the hall I saw Cal leaning against the wall opposite Tank's office. He was obviously waiting for me and made no attempt to disguise that fact.

I walked to him and he opened his arms to envelop me in a hug. I breathed him in and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

Cal leaned down slightly to talk to me, "I've talked to Bobby and Les and they are free, so I was wondering if you might feel up to eating at Gamma's tonight?"

I thought it was an odd suggestion at first. I pulled back to see his face looking for some clue of what he was thinking. As I did so I realized it would be nice to be taken care of by a nurturing and motherly woman. Her home was warm and I was able to forget about my troubles for a while when I was there the last time.

"Are you sure it's okay?" I asked not wanting to bring any trouble to his sweet grandmother.

"She called me after we got back to see how the visit with the chief went. When I told her she instructed me that I was to bring you back to her house for dinner. She wants to talk to you." He told me.

"Why does she want to talk to me?" I asked.

"I don't know for sure, but she said it was important and if you didn't feel up to coming to her house she wanted me to pick her up and bring her to you." He warned me.

I didn't want her to have to leave the safety of her home, so I agreed to dinner. Cal said he would call her and give her the good news.

As I straightened up to walk away I stumbled slightly, but Cal caught me before I could fall.

He looked at me asking with his eyes if I was alright.

"I'm okay, I'm just tired," I reported.

"Why don't you take a nap? You've got plenty of time before dinner and everyone would understand. We know you still aren't sleeping much and for you especially that's got to be catching up with you." He suggested.

I wanted to disagree, but a yawn interrupted my ability to speak.

He smiled and took my hand leading me to the elevator. I submitted and went to my apartment laying on the couch and covering up with a blanket. I drifted off quickly thinking how lucky I was. I had Hanson to lead the charge on my behalf, all of RangeMan to fight for me, and Cal's grandmother to dote on me since my own mother was currently giving me the silent treatment for refusing to forgive Joe. With this type of love surrounding me I felt like I could face anything.


	9. Finding Home

_I'm just having fun, the any brilliance or praise belongs to JE._

_Jenn (perfectmanhattan) once again you have made this story so much better with your wonderful Beta skills. Thank you._

**Chapter 9 – Finding Home**

I had a strange feeling that I was being watched. I'd fallen asleep on top of my couch having only removed my shoes before lying down. I remembered being alone when I went down to my apartment, so it didn't make sense that anyone would be watching me now.

Finally, I couldn't stand it any more and opened one eye to peek. Sure enough I saw someone large and dressed in black. That narrowed it down to pretty much everyone in the building. Obviously, this was going to take a little more effort.

I opened both eyes and was greeted by a smiling Cal who was kneeling before me next to the couch.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty," He said reaching out to run his fingers through my hair.

I smiled in return, although I'm not sure if it was from his humorous hello or the fact that he was touching me. "What time is it?" I asked as I began to stretch.

He started to glance at his watch but seemed distracted by my shirt ridding up in the front as I reached my arms above my head and pushed my stomach up doing my imitation of a cat stretching.

He put his warm hand on my stomach and I froze. His hand was soothing and he made no attempt to move it, which was a good thing since I was very ticklish. I relaxed my muscles and shut my eyes again to enjoy the feel of having Cal close to me.

Unfortunately Cal was here on a mission and he interrupted my fun, "No you don't. I know you're awake. It's time to get up so you can freshen up before we leave for dinner. Gamma wouldn't like it if we were late."

"Okay, I'm up, I'm up" I said making no attempt to move.

It barely registered that Cal was laughing at my response when I felt myself being lifted from the couch in two strong arms.

Cal swung me around in a circle, making me scream. I shut my eyes even tighter while grasping his black shirt in my hands.

Cal stopped and the room finished spinning before he sat me down. I began to laugh enjoying the feeling of playing with Cal. Without thinking I reached up and touched the flaming skull. I ran my fingers over the flames that I knew were painted over the scars he once wished to hide. Realizing it might be slightly rude to draw attention to his old injury, I moved my hand into his short hair and was surprised to feel how soft it was. He had straight fine hair, much the opposite of mine in every way.

I looked into Cal's eyes and saw him looking at me intently. He wasn't smiling but I would still describe him as happy. No, not happy, content. Like a man who was looking at the very thing he wanted most.

I broke the silence and thanked him for waking me before going into the bathroom to touch up my face and hair. Realizing there wasn't much I could do for either, I settled on giving myself a quick touch up. I washed my face, put on a coat of fresh lip gloss and mascara and briefly ran some detangling gel through my hair with my fingers. I looked in the mirror and figured I passed the muster.

I walked out and announced I was ready to go.

Cal put his hand on the small of my back and gently led me down to the garage.

Bobby and Les were already waiting in an Explorer so Cal and I jumped into his truck. This time I was not as nervous about meeting his Gamma, so we had a good time talking all the way. He told me stories of growing up with his grandparents, and his childhood. There were other children in the neighborhood, but they were mostly girls so he spent a lot of time playing alone.

He told me that one of his favorite games was pretending to be Spiderman. He would climb the tall trees in the front yard where his grandfather had tied ropes of various lengths to the branches so that Cal could swing on them pretending they were webs. The girls used to laugh at his silly game until one day his neighbor lost her kitten. While Cal was playing in his tree he saw that the cat had climbed up and gotten scared. He carefully rescued the kitten and brought him down to the neighbor. After that, no one called him silly again. He was considered the superhero of the neighborhood. I decided that was my new favorite story about him.

When we arrived I jumped out as Cal was walking around to my side. "I would have gotten that for you," Cal said when I met him at the front of the truck.

"I know, but I figured we were safe here so I didn't need to wait for you to secure the area first." I replied.

"I wouldn't do it because of a threat; I would do it because that's what you do for a lady." He said guiding me to the house.

I wasn't sure what one said in response to a statement like that, but I smiled at the thought of being seen as a lady.

Gamma met us on the porch, but this time she hugged me first. We were both welcomed and brought straight to the dinning room where she had once again placed a feast on the table. "Let's dig in first, we can talk later."

I was given large portions of baked chicken with green beans, macaroni and cheese and some sort of fruited muffins. I decided to start with the macaroni and cheese because it looked perfect. The first bite was warm and gooey, just the way I liked it. "This is delicious," I said around my second bite.

"I'm so glad you like it dear." Gamma said in return, pleased with my compliment.

We then began to talk about my visit with the chief. I had decided to leave out the confrontation with Morelli so it wouldn't worry her but I'm guessing Cal had already told her about it, because she asked, "And is that when the cop jumped out and grabbed you?

"Umm, yes he tried to, but Cal stopped him." I told her.

Cal didn't only stop him from grabbing you, but also, from what I heard, showed the officer what happens when he tries to hurt you," Gamma corrected me.

That seemed like a fair statement so I put my head down and blushed. Cal's hand gently squeezed my leg under the table, causing me to look at him. He lifted his chin slightly indicating I should put my head back up.

When I returned my attention to Gamma she stood up and asked Cal to fix a shelf in the back room that had fallen. While he was working she and I were going to make some chocolate pudding in the kitchen.

I glanced at Cal, but he seemed to accept what she said and had already begun to walk down the hall.

"It's alright dear, I have a nice comfortable stool for you to sit on while I mix it up."

I dutifully followed her to the kitchen and sat on the stool she pointed to while she began to mix whipping cream, chocolate shavings, whipped eggs, sugar and a touch of bourbon. As the chocolate melted the smell was intoxicating.

While she worked she talked.

"You remind me of my Janie." I didn't know who she was referring to so I sat there and listened.

"Janie was my oldest, born before Cal's dad back when we still lived in Georgia. She was a pistol of a girl. Constantly getting into trouble and living with the firm belief that she could do anything. I loved that little girl with all my heart, especially because of her determined streak. It was hard to teach her much, but I knew the fact that she had her own mind would make her a great woman one day."

It sounded as though she were describing me, but I knew my mother would never speak of how my determined streak would make me a great woman. If anything she would say the exact opposite.

"When Janie was nineteen she fell in love with a boy from town. I didn't know much about John, but I knew his father was a hard man. I didn't tell her that it was a mistake. John seemed to fancy her so I just watched and waited. A few months later they announced they were going to get married. I helped her plan the wedding and my little girl seemed to be the happiest I'd ever seen her." She continued.

"A year after they were married I noticed she didn't seem as happy as she used to be. She visited less and talked very little when she was home. I noticed her clothes seemed to be big on her and when I mentioned it she just said she was busy and didn't have time to eat. I continued to just watch and wait hoping she would snap out of her blues and come back to herself." Now I thought Janie and I were even more alike.

"The last time she stopped by was a hot summer day. I was cooking and she stopped by the kitchen and began to fan herself with a piece of paper. When the wind blew her hair back I saw bruises on her neck and asked her about them. She dropped the paper and told me it was nothing. John didn't realize he was holding her a little too hard and it left a little mark. She begged me not to say anything, trying to convince me that John would never hurt her on purpose." I began to get angry at John, a man I'd never met for hurting Gamma's daughter.

"A week later she called me and asked if I could pick her up. She said John was at work and she needed help getting to the doctor. She tried to convince me that she fell down the stairs but I could see handprints on her and knew it was all John's doing. I got her to the hospital and they took her back to check her out. The doctor came back a few hours later telling me something about how Janie had severe internal bleeding. He said she would need an operation, but that she was very weak and he didn't know if she could handle it." Gamma continued to work, but her eyes were filling with tears.

"I told that doctor to get in there and do what needed to be done because my girl was a strong fighter and she would pull through." She paused and smoothed her apron that was tied around her waist. "A few hours later he came back and told me he was sorry but her injuries were too severe. Apparently John had been beating her on her belly and back for months and it did so much damage that they couldn't fix it. My Janie died because no one stepped up and stopped John from hurting her."

I stood up and walked straight over to Gamma and wrapped my arms around her neck. We both shed tears for Janie's pain while holding each other. Cal walked in and saw us clinging and weeping and put a hand on each of our backs.

"Don't tell me you burned the pudding," He finally said making us both laugh.

"Silly boy, when have I ever burned your dessert?" She asked swatting at Cal to tell him to get out of the kitchen. "I'll bring you some in just a minute." She instructed him.

We both dried our eyes and I asked, "Why did you tell me about Janie?"

"Because when you first came to my house I saw pieces of my Janie. You had been hurt and you seemed afraid to trust anyone. But more important, I didn't see that look of hopelessness that Janie had. You still had a spark of fight in you and I refused to just watch and wait. I wanted to help this time like I should have with my daughter." She informed me while scooping out large dishes of pudding into cereal bowls and topping them with sweetened whipped cream.

"My grandson has feelings for you. I've never seen him so attentive to a woman before. You need to know that he rarely let's people in his heart, but if he does, you will be there forever. Cal doesn't know how to give up on people." She told me with her hand on my arm.

"I have feelings for him too and I know that I can trust him to never let me down." I said knowing it was true as I spoke.

"You come back to see me anytime you want. We'll cook and talk and you will feel better." She promised me. I believed her completely.

We sat in the den to have our dessert and I was amazed at how rich and wonderful so few ingredients were. When Gamma cooked it didn't seem like a mysterious act that could never be mastered, it seemed like love.

While Cal and I ate, Gamma returned to the kitchen to pack up some bags for Bobby and Lester. Now I understood why the guys were so willing to sit outside while we visited. They knew they were going to be paid with leftovers.

Cal ate all of his dessert and then turned his spoon on mine. Our spoons battled and suddenly Cal decided to play dirty. While my hand was blocking his spoon, he dipped his finger in the bowl and swiped a bite. Seeing the look of shock on my face he defended his action by saying, "What? It tastes better this way."

I decided to mess with him and dipped my finger in the bowl and held it in front of my mouth for a brief second before turning my hand and offering it to him instead. His face lit up with a smile as he grabbed my wrist bringing the offered chocolate to his mouth and proceeded to suck my finger clean. I may not have moaned over my food, but I did hear a soft whimper escape my lips as he got the last bit off with his tongue.

Gamma reentered the room while Cal was still holding my wrist. "Okay you two, give me those bowls before you make a mess on my furniture." She tried to sound severe but I could hear the smile in her voice.

We said goodbye and this time I hugged her first. I don't know why she chose to take care of me but I recognized that I needed it right now and was grateful for her.

Back at Haywood Cal walked me to my door and put another lingering kiss on my forehead before saying, "Goodnight Angel," and leaving me to settle in on my own.

I went to sleep smiling about sharing dessert with Cal and hoped we would find time to eat together again soon.

The next day I went up to my cubicle after my workout in the gym. I was feeling good about the day since I was still on cloud nine after such a good night. Tank was the first to speak to me and asked if I could stop by his office for a few minutes.

I dutifully followed him in and wondered if this was where my mood would end.

"Little Girl, I've got another job for you." He began.

"Sure Tank, what can I do?" I volunteered.

"Smith and Sons, the company you have been researching for the employee theft feels very strongly that there was a reason the women in the office wanted to keep them from cashing certain checks. They would like us to do more extensive research because this problem not only made their cash flow tight, but it also caused them to sever ties with a client because they thought that they were not paying their bills. They are eager to get to the bottom of this and want to make sure that others are not involved in the theft." He explained.

"I don't know how to help, I've already looked into every possible connection and came up empty at every turn." I told him.

"That's where you come in. They want you to come to their office and pose as a new employee. They hope that if you are able to speak to some of the people in the office and gain their trust, you will be able to figure out why they were hiding checks. It would be an easy assignment, and Smith and Sons has offered to make it more than worth our while." Tank informed me.

"I think sending someone in is a great idea, it's probably the only way they'll get that type of information, but I don't want to do it. I don't think I can." I told him worried about his reaction.

Tank came around his desk to sit beside me. "I think you can, and I think you should. I know you don't like going out, and you are nervous about being around people you don't know, but this would be a safe assignment and one where your spidey sense would be most useful."

"Can I think about it?" I asked. I really didn't want to do it, but I hated the idea of disappointing Tank.

"Sure. I told them I'd call them back tomorrow, so take today and think it through." He told me standing up to return to his work.

I was nearly at his door when he said my name again. "I wouldn't have suggested this to you if I didn't know you could do it."

"Thanks for your vote of confidence, Big Guy." I said joking, but still sincere.

I walked back to my cubicle and ran some searches but didn't get very far before Les and Bobby came in and interrupted.

"What can I do for you two?" I asked worried over the smiles they were giving me. It was like watching two little boys who knew they were about to do something that would get them in trouble, but didn't care about the consequences.

"We just wanted to ask you a few questions," Les began.

Bobby jumped in next, "So, you and Cal, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked trying to avoid answering their questions.

"Come on Steph, we know about the meals together and the other day he nearly caused Vince to hurt himself in the weight room because he was watching you instead of paying attention to spotting Vince.

"I've eaten with you two plenty of times too, but I don't remember you asking about that." I defended.

"How about the cinnamon rolls?" Bobby pushed.

"It seems to me that you had some of those too, do I need to be asking you what's happening." I retorted.

"Alright," Les said with his hands up in a mock surrender. "We'll let it go, but just so you know, we know." He added a knowing look and a wink as they left.

Not five minutes later Cal entered where they had been standing.

"What's up Steph?" He asked. "You look like you've been called to the principal's office."

I shook my head to clear the words Les had said out of my mind. "Bobby and Les just stopped by talk to me." I explained hoping that would be enough.

"Are you okay? I thought you liked Les and Bobby?" He wondered.

"I do, they were just asking about the amount of time we are spending together and wanted to know what it meant." I confessed unable to come up with a more clever way of putting it.

"What did you tell them?" He asked clearly enjoying the direction this conversation had taken.

"Nothing, I turned their questions back on them and they gave up." I answered.

That got me a full smile from Cal. "Do you know what I would have told them if they had asked me?"

"No," I said hoping he would answer his own question.

"I would have told them I was spending so much time with you because I thought you were the most wonderful woman I'd ever met and as long as you were willing to have me around, I would consider myself very fortunate." He told me with all hint of joking gone.

"That's a great answer," I said.

"I'm glad you think so. I picked up my phone and called you a few weeks ago because I was worried about my co-worker. I had no idea that every little thing I learned about you would make me like you more and more. And now I find I can't stay away from you, whether it's to share a meal or just to walk down your side of the hall so I can catch a glimpse of you sitting at your desk." He continued.

I reached out and took his hand between mine making him step closer. I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him closely to me. "I feel the same way," I whispered into his neck. Cal stood there rubbing my back and holding me tightly to his chest. The rest of the office continued as it did every day, completely unaware of such an intimate exchange going on in their midst. I felt stronger with him supporting me.

Leaning against him I told him what Tank had proposed and how I was nervous about doing it, but felt I should try. I didn't want to let down RangeMan and this did seem like something I could do. Cal listened while I talked through my concerns about the job and never interrupted even when it seemed I was talking in circles.

Finally he pulled me back enough to look at him and he asked, "But, what do you want to do?"

"I want to do it. I'm tired of hiding and letting life pass me by," I said realizing I really did want to do something more than computer searches.

"Then I think you need to tell Tank to call the client." He summed up with a smile.

Quickly I stretched up and placed a kiss on Cal's cheek before turning back to walk away. I glanced back over my shoulder and saw Cal still leaning against my desk but with a big smile on his face. 'Just you wait,' I thought to myself. If that small kiss makes you that happy, I can't wait to see what a real kiss will do.

Just like that, I was back on top of the world. I told Tank to set up the job that I would be glad to do it before I returned to my cubicle.

I sat back down and realized my message light was blinking. I rarely checked for messages as few people had my direct extension. I had to look up how to access the system, but eventually made my way and discovered I had two messages. The first was from Morelli from the day before my meeting with the chief. He was begging me to call him back so he could apologize. Of course a phone call from him wouldn't be complete without him swearing that we belonged together. At least this ended the mystery of the missing third call from him.

The second message was from my mother. "Stephanie? This is your mother. I just heard that Eddie and Carl had to arrest Joe last night because you pressed charges against him for your little misunderstanding. You need to fix this Stephanie before it destroys your reputation. I called Angie Morelli this morning and promised her I would convince you to get him out of jail and sort this out before Joe's career is ruined. I expect you to do this today and if you don't then you need to stop calling this house, because it will no longer be your home." The click told me she was done talking, but I didn't hang up my phone. I held out a fool's hope that she would somehow keep talking and tell me if I couldn't do that she would still love me, but her voice never returned.

Hector stopped by and saw me sitting there cradling my phone staring blankly. "Chica?" He asked loud enough for me to hear, but I didn't feel the need to respond.

Hector left and called for Cal. I heard a discussion between the two men, but couldn't understand a word as it was all in Spanish. I thought it was odd, I had never heard Cal speak Spanish before, but that fact didn't pull me from my trance.

Cal came up to me and said my name. He saw the phone in my hand and took it gently from me pressing some buttons on my phone to replay what I had just heard.

"Oh Angel," He said when he hung up. He pulled me to him and held me as the tears began to fall.

"She said that I don't have a home anymore," I finally said to let him know I was upset about my mother, not about Joe's call.

"She's wrong Angel." Cal said in a soft but firm voice. "You will always have a home as long as I'm around."

I snapped from my trance with that sentence and threw myself at him wrapping my arms around his neck.

Cal stood us up and picked me up in his arms carrying me to the elevator. I didn't ask where we were going, nor did I care. I only knew I was in the arms of a man who cared for me and I knew he would never hurt me. I trusted Cal completely and in that trust I rested my head against him as the elevator moved down to four and we stepped out.

"Where to?" Cal asked trying to figure out if I wanted to go to my apartment or his.

I answered with one word, "Home."


	10. Challenges Met and Passions Unleashed

_None of the characters belong to me; the great JE gets all the credit._

_Jenn (perfectmanhattan) – you've done it again. Thanks for your Beta skills and your friendship. This story has been so much more fun because of you._

**Chapter 10 – Challenges Met and Passions Unleashed**

I woke up disoriented but cozy. I was laying on a comfortable surface but felt something hard along my back. I remembered Cal bringing me downstairs and to his apartment. I cried on his shoulder until I fell asleep which brings me to where I am now.

Opening my eyes I didn't recognize the bedroom but I wasn't at all afraid. I rolled over slowly and saw Cal lying next to me. "Good morning Angel," he whispered.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." I confessed embarrassed about my melt down and then falling sleep while he comforted me.

"So am I Stephanie," He replied.

"Why are you sorry?" I wondered, pushing the hair away from my face worried that he regretted bringing me to his apartment when I said I wanted to go home.

"I'm sorry that your family doesn't realize how special you are and support you like you deserve." He explained.

"But you do?" I asked, already knowing the answer was yes.

"I realize how special you are," He said gently pushing the hair away again that had fallen back across my face. "And I try to support you but I don't know if I do it well enough."

I stroked his cheek with my fingertips. "I think you do it perfectly."

Cal's hand was resting on my waist keeping us close together. It felt safe and comfortable cuddled up with him in bed. I wanted to ask what was going on between us, but didn't have enough courage for that conversation. I definitely had feelings for him, but I couldn't put a name to them yet.

Seeing a change in me as my mind dwelt on the unspoken question, Cal interrupted, "Tank called an hour ago and wanted you to see him whenever you're up to it."

That was exactly what I needed, a distraction to get my mind off how I felt about Cal.

I moved to sit up and Cal's hand fell away. "Thank you," I said before I stood up.

"I'd like to say you're welcome and that I kept you with me last night solely to take care you, but honestly I wanted you here too." He confessed getting up himself.

Not knowing how to respond to that I just smiled and made my exit quickly to my own apartment to get ready for the day.

Upstairs Tank was glad to see me. "You're timing is perfect, Little Girl." He announced when I walked in his office.

"Why is that?" I was curious.

"Smith and Son's is going to call me in an hour to see about implementing our plan tomorrow and I needed to talk to you first." He explained.

"Okay, lay it on me." I braced myself for what he had to say.

"They would like you to go in tomorrow and pose as a temporary employee reporting to Mr. Smith who is working in the same general area as the women who hid the check. The plan is for you to discover the check they hid and ask them about it to see if they tell you anything. Hopefully, you will be able to get them to open up a little about what they were doing to see if anyone else was involved or if it was just them." He said. "Are you still up for this?"

Honestly, I wasn't so sure, but I realized something this morning waking up with Cal. I wanted my life back. It might be screwed up and unconventional, but it was mine and I felt like people who didn't love me had controlled it for too long. Taking this job was a first step in doing what I wanted.

"Yea, I'm up for it. What time do I need to be there?" I asked.

"9:00," Tank said with a laugh.

"What's so funny?" I wondered.

"Six months ago I would have negotiated for a later start time, but now that you seem to be hooked into an early morning work out I would have been okay if he had said 8:00. Things certainly do change," He chuckled on the last few words.

I should have been offended, but everything he said was true. "I'll be there on time." Then I had another thought about the job. "Tank, will I be safe there? I haven't heard anything about Joe since Hanson went to press charges."

Tank's mannerisms changed in an instant. He was no longer being playful and his face showed how seriously he took this discussion. "Hanson filed his motion and Eddie and Big Dog picked Joe up that night while he was passed out on his couch. Apparently, while he's been in lock up he's dried out and he's having a rough time. He seems to go back and forth between begging the guys to give him a chance to talk to you and apologize and asking them for a little drink, just to calm his nerves."

I nodded that I understood. If Joe was in jail he couldn't interrupt me at Smith and Sons so I could concentrate on my job and not have to worry about my safety.

I spent the rest of the day reviewing the file I had on the client and running some searches. I picked up a chicken salad sandwich and headed to the roof for my dinner and watched as the sun went down. It was a beautiful sight setting in the smog of the city. The orange and pink was masterfully blended as the darkness began to descend.

When we were little, Val used to hate the sunset as it was the closing of another of her perfect days. I always loved it because I knew any trouble I had gotten into that day was now officially over and tomorrow was a new day with a clean slate to start over. I hadn't thought of that in a while, but smiled to myself. Tomorrow was my clean slate and I was ready to start over.

I had pulled out a suit from my lingerie buying days and was pleased that I could keep the skirt up by tightening it with a safety pen. The jacket that went over the camisole shirt covered my waist well enough that I didn't think anyone would notice my modifications. I remembered why I hated office jobs as soon as I looked at the panty hose in my drawer. I finally decided I couldn't do it and just slipped my feet into a pair of four inch heels and strutted down to go to work. I was at Smith and Sons at ten 'til nine and walked into the reception office.

An older woman with a kind face greeted me and took me back to Mr. Smith's office. He reviewed everything Tank had told me and said the purpose he had decided to tell the office staff for my presence is that the filing cabinets needed to be cleaned out and so he had brought in a temp to do that. I nodded that I understood the work I would need to do to maintain my cover and went out to be introduced to the girls in the office.

The large room was divided into work stations with mid wall dividers, leaving most of the space open. Everyone greeted me in a very friendly way, but when Mr. Smith pointed to the cabinets where they had hidden the check and announced what I would be doing, their facial expressions changed quickly to panic.

Mr. Smith left me to my work and I was immediately approached by the two women. This job might be easier than I thought. "Stephanie," the middle aged woman named Cynthia started. "How about you start with the bottom drawer and I'll help you with the top one."

Ah, so she knew there was something in there that needed to be hidden. I smiled and thanked her for her offer, but said Mr. Smith had specifically instructed me to start at the top and with that I opened the first drawer and pulled out a handful of files to go through. I was careful to be sure I pulled out the file with the check in it.

Cynthia shot a look to the other woman named Betty and they both came over to my temporary work station to talk to me.

I was careful to open the check as soon as they stopped at my side.

"What's this?" I asked innocently. "Shouldn't this check be in the bank and not in the cabinet? It's dated over a month ago."

Apparently the girls bought my shocked routine as they attempted a little silent communication.

Betty suggested I give the money to her and she would see it was taken care of. I could tell they were nervous about me saying something about what I found so I decided to try and push them a little.

"Maybe I should take this to Mr. Smith. He told me to bring anything in the folders that didn't belong directly to him. He was concerned about some papers and things that have gone missing lately. Maybe this is what he meant." I stood up with the check in my hand to make my point.

Cynthia spoke out quickly, "No, wait."

I turned around and looked at her expectantly. "Honey, are you married?" Betty asked.

"No," I said with my confusion evident in my voice.

"Mr. Smith is," Began Cynthia, "to one of our dearest friends."

"I don't understand what this has to do with a misplaced check," I answered her.

Betty picked up the story, "Look hon, back when we were in school our friend Sal dated Mr. Smith. They got married right after we all graduated and as far as we could tell, they were the perfect couple. She worked here with us in the office and they seemed really happy."

"But about two years ago Sal got sick and the doctors diagnosed her with breast cancer. She was told that her best chance at beating this was to have a double mastectomy. She had the operation and the following treatments to rid the rest of the cancer deeply affected her. She lost her hair, lost a ton of weight, and she was too weak to come into the office anymore. Once she was in remission she was told that she could return to her regular lifestyle, but because she looked different she wouldn't come into the office anymore. In fact, she hardly ever leaves the house now." Cynthia explained.

By this point I had completely forgotten the check I was holding as I was engrossed in their story.

"Mr. Smith stayed by Sal, but over the last year he seemed really interested in the owner of a company we do business with. They've had late night business meetings, and he's made more sales calls to her office than any client ever before." Betty continued.

"We know Mr. Smith loves Sal, but he seems to be forgetting that even though she isn't herself anymore, she is still his wife so we needed to help him remember." Cynthia said.

I realized they had come back to why there was a check in the folder, and told them, "I'm sorry, I still don't understand."

Cynthia finished, "That check is from the company that Mr. Smith took such an interest in. We think either he was having an affair or was about to and we needed to stop it, so we created a little business problem to give him an excuse to stop using her company, and consequently, stop seeing her."

"If she wasn't paying for what we shipped to her, then he couldn't continue selling to her. And if he wasn't selling to her, then he had no reason to see her, which means he could go back home to Sal at a decent hour. It may sound horrible, and I know it cost him a lot of money, but we weren't stealing his money, we just filed it away so that he wouldn't make a terrible mistake. If Sal ever found out he cheated on her it would kill her, and even if he wouldn't admit it, he still loves her and the thought of hurting her would be a tough pill for him to swallow." Betty explained.

So they weren't stealing, they were just trying to make Mr. Smith lose the client they thought he was having an affair with in order to protect his wife who was so ashamed of her appearance, she no longer wished to leave the house. Oh boy, what was I supposed to tell the client about this?

I gave Cynthia the checks I found each time I came across one. There appeared to be six in all by the time I finished the work day. Before I left, I checked in with Mr. Smith but he was not in his office. Truthfully I was relieved as I had no idea what I was going to tell him. I needed to get back to RangeMan and figure out how to explain this. I needed someone to bounce this off. I smiled as I got in the car and drove home knowing exactly who I needed to see.

Back at Haywood, I went straight up to four and knocked on Cal's door. He opened his door with a bowl of something in his hand and a big smile on his face. "You're just in time," He said opening the door wider to let me in.

"In time for what?" I asked.

"Beef Stew," He said while walking to the kitchen and ladling me a bowl of the comforting meal.

I saw he was going to the den to sit instead of heading to the table. "What, no formal dinning this evening?" I teased.

He picked up the remote and turned down the volume, "Nope, dinner and a show," He said with a smile drawing my attention to the Red Sox game on the television.

"Ah, I'm competing with a baseball game," I said jokingly.

Cal then did the unexpected when he picked up the remote and turned the television completely off. "There is no competition, you'd win every time." He said in all seriousness.

Wow. No one had ever turned off a game for me. Morelli and I would occasionally talk through one, or argue with it going in the background, but he would never turn it off just because I wanted to talk.

"How was the case?" He asked as though he knew what I wanted to talk about.

I kicked off my heals, which were beginning to irritate my feet and stretched my legs onto his coffee table.

I told him about my day and Cynthia and Betty's confession. When I was finished Cal seemed as much at a loss as I was.

"I know what they did was wrong, but there is a piece of me that admires how they did it to take care of their friend," I confessed.

"I see your point, but we do have an obligation to our client to fully disclose what you've found." He reminded me. "Tell him all of it; from the suspected affair to why the women wanted him to stop working with that particular business. He has his checks so he hasn't actually lost any money. He could see this as a wake up call to go back to his wife, but we need to let him make that decision." Cal weighed in. As much as I wanted to protect Cynthia and Betty, I had to agree with him.

"I'll go back tomorrow and meet with Mr. Smith to explain it all and see what he wants to do. Maybe he'll allow me to express an opinion about what his next step should be," I said wistfully.

"I'd love to be there for that," Cal said with a smile.

"I'll tell you how it goes," I promised wondering how that conversation would flow myself.

"How about over dinner?" Cal suggested.

I looked down at my nearly untouched stew and took a bite before agreeing, "That sounds great."

"At Pino's" Cal added.

Gulp. I loved the idea of eating with Cal, but I hadn't been out to eat since before my first run in with Morelli. Pino's would be full of cops and friends of Joe's and I wasn't sure I wanted to have that much attention so soon after his arrest. I must have paused long enough, because Cal knew that something was wrong.

"Would you rather eat somewhere else?" He asked.

"Yes," I blurted out as soon as he suggested changing locations.

"I thought you liked Pino's," He stated.

"I do, but it will be full of Joe's friends and I'm not sure I want to face that yet," I confessed.

"Shorty's then?" Cal suggested as a second option.

"Only if you'll let me eat pizza without suggesting anything healthy to go along with it." I happily countered.

"Deal," He answered pleased that I was agreeing to leave the building.

My mind suddenly changed gears and I asked the first thing that came into my mind, "How much did it hurt to get your tattoo?"

"Why do you ask?" He asked trying to answer my question with one of his own. "Are you considering getting one of your own?" He added lightly.

I didn't respond right away which caused him to say excitedly, "You are, aren't you? Man, you would be sexy as hell with a tattoo."

My face colored instantly. How did I explain that I hadn't really thought it through, it just popped in my mind and I said it without editing first? I decided to try and downplay it. "I was just curious. I hadn't really thought it through."

He seemed slightly disappointed in my response, but answered me anyway, "In that case, yes, it hurt, but only a little. Of course, like I told you, I was slightly drunk at the time, so I may not be the best person to ask."

My lack of tolerance for alcohol was a well know fact around RangeMan so there was no point in denying that getting me tipsy enough to get a tattoo would be simple. While I was dwelling on that I suddenly remembered exactly what Cal had just admitted to.

"Why would a tattoo be sexy on me?" I asked trying to put him in the hot seat for once.

He smiled, apparently pleased with where the conversation had turned. "You are an amazing woman, you play by your own rules and seem confident in your own skin. That is already sexy so you don't need to do a thing to change it. But getting a permanent mark of your own choosing is a way of showing that confidence and allowing you to express how you feel about yourself. It's a matter of pride in who you are. And that on top of how you already carry yourself when you are out would be over the top amazing."

"I'm not saying it's something I'm going to do," I clarified. "I was just curious."

"If you decide you want to get one, I know a guy that would do a great job," Cal volunteered. "He did my last one."

"The navy emblem on your arm?" I asked, momentarily remembering how delicious it looked on his bicep when he was in the weight room.

"No." He said with a poor attempt to keep from smiling. "You haven't seen this one."

Suddenly it was my interest that was piqued. "Where is it?" I asked sitting my half eaten bowl of stew down and tucking my legs under me."

"You eat that dinner and I'll show you," He bargained.

I looked back and forth between the food and Cal before picking up the bowl and trying to finish the meal quickly.

Clearly enjoying his new found bargaining chip, he watched me shovel my way through the remaining bites. When it was finished I stood to take my empty bowl to the sink and grab a bottle of water to wash it down. My curiosity was in over-drive and I wasn't going to let him forget his end of the deal.

When I sat back down beside him I looked at Cal expectantly. "Come on, a deal is a deal." I prompted. I was at a loss about what this tattoo could be. I had seen him making cinnamon rolls with his shirt completely off and didn't remember any art on him other than the two I had already observed.

My enthusiasm made him laugh lightly, a sound I had grown to love. In the three years I had known him before Morelli attacked me I rarely heard him laugh, but in the month since my world was turned upside down I had grown accustomed it.

Finally he sighed and said, "You aren't going to give this up are you?"

"No way," I quickly spit out. "I finished dinner, now pay up."

He grabbed his shirt from the back and pulled it over his head, discarding it on the back of the sofa. I had seen Cal shirtless before, but seeing it again made my mouth suddenly open with my tongue held slightly between my teeth. It was as if my mouth knew I couldn't release my tongue or I would be tempted to run it all over Cal's sculpted chest.

Seeing my expression made him smile again as he stood up and unbuttoned his cargos.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a hint of panic in my voice. As much as I wanted his pants off, I thought we were going to look at a tattoo.

"I'm fulfilling my end of the bargain," He said enjoying my unease.

"Where is this tattoo?" I wondered.

"Does it matter?" He teased back.

Trying to portray more confidence than I really felt I shook my head no.

He moved closer and ever so slightly lowered the waist of his pants. Just below the top of his cargos was a set of angel wings just below his left hip. They were small, only four inches across and only an inch and half high, but the detail on them was fabulous. You could almost see the individual feathers. I had no idea they could do that kind of shading. Involuntarily my hand reached out and softly ran over the top. I almost expected the skin to feel different, but it was warm and smooth like the areas around the wings.

"Thanks," I said softly.

"For what?" He asked pulling the waist of his pants closed and blocking my view once again.

"For showing it to me." I answered.

"A promise is a promise," He responded.

"Why did you get that tattoo?" I asked.

"I did it about four months ago," He began. "I knew someone who I admired very much and they had gone through a difficult time, but they made a great decision and stood up for themselves even though it brought them a lot of grief from their friends and family. I saw this picture of the wings and it made me thing of my friend so I got it in honor of how much I admired them." He answered cryptically.

"Can I ask you something else?" I pressed leaning closer to where he had relaxed on the couch.

"Anything, you know that." He said.

"Who was it?" I wondered, but somehow felt that I knew the answer to my own question. I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach and couldn't wait for his response.

"I think you know who it is," He replied leaning towards me in response.

"Do I?" My voice dropped in volume.

"They are angel wings," He reminded me. "There is only person that I give that title to."

"What decision did I make that you through was great?" I couldn't help but ask scooting even closer so that our knees were touching.

"You dumped Morelli and started working here a few days a week doing searches. I know your family hated that decision, but you did what was right for you. I didn't think I could tell you how proud I was of you at the time, so I did this instead. I wanted to mark how I felt about your strength and this was my way of doing that." He said extending his arm so that his hand was nestled in my hair.

Cal's eyes cut down to my hand briefly before they met my eyes. "I know we were all proud of you, but I decided when I heard what you had done that I needed to get to know you better. You had always fascinated me, but I could no longer deny how much I wanted you to be in my life. Since that day I've tried hard to get to know you and to let you know me." His free hand lifted up to stroke my cheek with his thumb. "I had no idea how quickly you would become my world," He admitted beginning to stare at my lips.

At that moment, my world began to spin. I'm sure for everyone else, life went on as normal. I imagine guys were joking in the break room and working on case files at their desks, but at this moment in Cal's apartment everything else ceased to exist in my mind. My eyes fell to his full lips and I couldn't tear my gaze from him. My heart was beating faster, but it was not out of nervousness, it was from pure desire. I had to be closer.

Slowly I moved my upper body forward pulling my left hand up to put on his neck behind his head. Cal began to mirror my movements with his own until we were sharing the same air for each breath. With our lips nearly close enough to touch, I softly whispered, "Thank you."

"For what." he said tilting his head slightly.

"For believing in me, for thinking my choices were the right ones, and for not giving up on me when I was giving up on myself. But most importantly, thank you for being you. I don't think I've ever met anyone as amazing as you." I said quietly, thankful he was close enough to hear me.

We staying locked in our positions, both afraid to move for fear of breaking the spell of the moment. I was drawn to him and didn't know if he felt the same way, but there was chemistry between us that I hadn't experienced before. This went beyond mere attraction. I was connected to Cal because of how freely he shared himself with me. Something inside me wanted to deepen that connection.

Thinking of it that way I found the courage I needed to close the short distance between us and I pressed my lips softly against his. Once our mouths met any hope I had of keeping the connection soft and tender disappeared. I couldn't get close enough to him.

There was a fire and a passion contained in that first kiss that I didn't expect. I knew I was developing feelings for Cal, but I had no idea what they were. As soon as our lips touched I had the name for how I felt. I loved him. In fact, I had fallen in love with Cal.

I moved both my arms to lock over his shoulders raising my body up so that it was pressing against his. He moved his leg so that we were even closer.

My eyes were closed, yet the loss of one sense only overloaded the others. I felt the hard muscles of his shoulders move as he rubbed his arms up my back pulling me closer still. I smelled the light smell of polo which he always carried but never seemed strong enough to have been just put on. I felt my breathing increase and I fought between my urge for more of Cal and the need for air at the same time. But most importantly I heard a sound come from my throat, which had not escaped from me for some time. Just as my tongue met his and was given entrance into his mouth I moaned a long, deep, lustful sound. The sound was not lost on Cal who had been watching me at every meal hoping for just such a sound.

I felt him still completely as the sound left my throat and I feared briefly that he would stop kissing me. Fortunately hearing how affected I was he growled out, "Oh God, Steph," and put even more of himself into our kiss.

We necked like a couple of teenagers trying to make the most out of Friday night before curfew. Any question I had about how Cal saw me was instantly answered too. There was no way he was putting this much desire into kissing me if he considered me a friend. In fact, from the fierceness with which his mouth devoured mine I would say he felt the same way I did.

I basked in his affection as he softened his mouth to tender slow sensual kisses. His hands moved and caressed me holding me occasionally to make me feel treasured and adored. As we gradually came to our senses and pulled our mouths away from each other I found we still maintained as much contact as possible.

"I've wanted to do that for the longest time," He confessed accenting his sincerity with another kiss.

"Why didn't you?" I wondered when I could speak again.

"I didn't know if you wanted me to, or if it would ruin what we had as friends," He explained causing me to trace his lips with my tongue dispelling any idea that we were only friends now.

"Would it make you feel better if I told you I'd wanted to do that too?" I asked him.

"Much," He said pushing my hair back and working his lips up to my ear. "Why didn't you do it sooner?"

"I was afraid you were just being nice to me out of sympathy or friendship." I had no ability to lie to him now; plus the fact that it took way too much effort to focus on putting words together into sentences. What his mouth was doing on my ear and neck was seriously short-circuiting my brain.

He chuckled and added, "It's good to know. I'd love to spend an evening seeing if I could so short circuit it that you would lose your vocabulary all together."

"I said that out loud?" I said as part moan when he softly sucked at my neck near my scar.

"Oh God, Steph, for weeks now I've waited to hear you moan thinking it would mean you were finding yourself again and now that you're doing it I can hardly control the effect it's having on me." He confessed.

"That's good to know, maybe I can work on short circuiting your brain too," I challenged.

With that he grabbed my upper thighs and pulled my legs up so that I was straddling him with my skirt bunched up at my waist.

"I want to take this nice and slow, but anytime you want to try short circuiting my brain I promise you I'm all yours." He said with his voice reaching a lower register of desire than I have never heard from a man.

Our teasing gradually subsided and we began to talk while he held me as close to him as I could be. I remember us discussing how we felt for each other and sighing when he said he was shocked at how strongly he felt for me and how each day it seemed to get stronger. I could feel my eyes betraying me as they got heavier and heavier and my last conscious thought was of Cal kissing my lips lightly and whispering, "Good night Angel. I love you tonight and always."


	11. Preparation

_None of the characters belong to me; I'm just having fun with JE's great creations._

_As always, Jenn (perfectmanhattan) you are such a fabulous Beta. Thank you for your help in polishing my rough work on this story. _

**Chapter 11 – Preparation**

I had to admit waking up with Cal was an addictive occurrence. He was warm and had the ability to spoon behind me in a way that made me feel surrounded and treasured, but not overwhelmed and smothered. When I began to move he would slightly lift his arm around my waist allowing me to move, but he never took it away. It's like he wanted me to have my freedom, but was hesitant to break the connection between us before he absolutely had to.

I rolled over and found myself face to face with a very handsome RangeMan. His hair was still growing out, and was now long enough to cover part of his forehead including some of the flames on his tattoo. I ran my fingers through it watching as it fell right back where it had been.

"Good morning, Angel," He whispered before kissing me softly.

My memories of our night together came flooding back to me and I was suddenly dramatically warmer despite the temperature in the room remaining the same. I started to stretch trying to wake up my muscles before using them to actually get out of bed. Cal had seen me wake up enough to know this was the first step in getting up. His hand went to my stomach as the shirt I was wearing rode up.

My mind went back to last night and I remembered coming to him straight from work. I didn't change into comfortable clothes. That ended my stretch immediately as I looked down to see what I was wearing. It certainly didn't feel like a business suit.

Sure enough I was in a long black t-shirt that had ridden up during the night. It appeared I was still wearing my panties, but my bra was no where to be found. "Cal?" I said as a question.

"Yea," He replied refusing to answer the obvious question I was contemplating.

"What am I wearing, and where are my clothes?" I spelled it out for him.

The got me a chuckle as his hand began to move slowly from side to side across my stomach. He didn't lighten his touch, which is probably why it didn't tickle. In fact, if anything it made me wish he would lower his hand a good twelve inches.

"You fell asleep on me last night. I didn't think you would mind sleeping in my bed so I brought you in here, but you didn't look too comfortable in that skirt and jacket so I took them off. You didn't move at all so I decided to try and put you in something a little better for sleeping and I took off my t-shirt and put it on you." He explained.

"What about my bra?" I pushed before adding, "And wasn't I wearing a camisole under the jacket?"

This time he laughed first before answering and moved his hand in a circular motion instead of merely side to side. "Yes you were. I took it off with your jacket and I didn't take off your bra until after I put the shirt on you. You were completely out, but I promise I tried to protect your modesty." He said with his laughter dying down for the last phrase.

I was a little embarrassed about being so out of it that he could literally use me as a dress-up rag doll, but I tried not to freak out about it. I believed him when he said he was trying to protect my virtue. I pulled myself to a sitting position and Cal started to take his hand away. I instantly regretted moving if it meant he would stop touching me, so I reached out and grabbed his hand before it made its way over to his own side. I held it between both of mine and ran one finger up and down his forearm lightly.

When I pulled my eyes away from the sight of my fingers touching his skin I saw his eyes were closed and his mouth was upturned at the edges, not in a smile, but in an expression of peacefulness. I couldn't help but drop one hand away from his arm and caress his face. It broke the spell so that his eyes opened and his mouth opened into a full-fledged grin.

He looked at me for a moment before asking, "It's not weird, is it?"

Shocked at his question, I clarified, "Waking up with you, or what happened last night?"

"Yes," replied Mr. Helpful.

"No. It's natural," I told him how I felt at least. "How about for you?"

"No, it seems too good to be true, but if I'm dreaming I'm okay with it," He said confirming he felt the same way.

"What do you have on the docket for the day?" I asked him, curious how much he would share about what he was doing.

"I got some leads on a skip Junior and I are trying to bring in. We're going to Stark to follow up and hopefully get him." Cal said as though he were reviewing his shopping list at the hardware store. "What about you?"

"I need to talk to Tank about Smith and Sons, and I assume I will need to have a conversation with Mr. Smith as well,, but other than a chat with Mac, that I guess I'm doing work at my desk until quitting time." I replied amazed at how easy it was to be open about what I was doing without worrying about Cal's reaction to my job.

When I stopped rubbing Cal's arm he moved his hand to my leg and began to run his fingers lightly up and down my thigh. I glanced at the clock and saw it was 5:30. I had slept in, and silently wondered if I should just skip going to the gym today since I was getting a later start than normal. Besides if I skipped the gym, I could stay in bed with Cal for a little longer.

As if he could read my thoughts, or I said them aloud, one or the other, Cal said, "Oh no, we're going to the gym. And in the future I'll just set the alarm a little earlier so we can take our time waking up and not have to rush through our good mornings to run out the door."

"Arghh, how early are we talking about, 5:20? 5:15?" I bargained.

With no warning Cal sat up grabbed me by the shoulder and waist and pulled me down on top of him. I had to admit I loved my landing area, but was slightly confused about how he did that.

"You just have to ask yourself if five or ten minutes is long enough in bed together each morning. Personally I wouldn't think a minute past 4:30 would be acceptable, because I know I would love to have an hour to tell you good morning properly each day." And with that piece of information he framed my face with both his hands and pulled me down for a passionate kiss. My legs slipped on either side of his waist so that I was straddling him and I realized how nicely we fit together.

Just as I was fully waking up from the feel of his tongue on mine, he pulled back making me whine a little. "Trust me, I'd rather stay here with you, but I think if we are going to try and take things slow, we both need to change and head down to the gym."

I wanted to argue, but I knew he was right. I needed to go to the gym if I was going to try and rein in my hormones so I rolled off him and collapsed on my back before getting up.

"Do you mind if I keep your shirt to run over to my apartment? I don't want to bother putting on my suit just to take it off again to change." I explained.

"Keep it," He smiled reaching down to brush my hair off my face while standing over me as I was lying on the bed. "I like the idea of you being seen leaving my apartment wearing only my t-shirt first thing in the morning."

With a promise to see him in the gym I left his place and thanked my lucky stars to have made it back to my apartment without being spotted. I was half way through getting my workout clothes on when I remembered the cameras in the hall and realized just because no one was standing near my door did not mean I had made the walk without being seen. I really needed to get out of the building and into my own apartment again if I wanted any semblance of privacy back. Of course, my old apartment wasn't within walking distance from Cal's and somehow that made moving less appealing than I initially thought.

While I was doing my mental workout on what living arrangement would best suit me I had pulled my disaster of a hair do up in a ponytail. I was about to declare myself ready for the day when I saw my neck in the mirror. The scar was completely visible with my hair pulled up and back. I looked at it closer and saw it wasn't as red as it had been. If anything it was more pink. It had shrunk a little and now looked like an interstate on a map taking an indirect route around a city instead of a harsh wound as it originally had.

I was trying to figure out if I really wanted to wear my hair up today when there was a knock on my door. I opened it to find Cal standing on the other side in his painted on gym shorts and tank top. I licked my lips despite my best effort not to. Cal put his hands behind my head and pulled to me him for a kiss in my doorway. Well, if anyone saw me making the walk of shame from his apartment to mine, we weren't exactly squashing the rumor mill with this type of behavior. Funny, I didn't give a shit about the rumor mill at the moment; I was too busy trying to find a way to get my body even closer to Cal's.

He broke the kiss because I certainly didn't have the will-power to do it. "I love that your hair is up today. I hope you plan on leaving it that way in the gym."

I hadn't planned on it, but the hope in his eyes made it hard for me to tell him that. I decided to go with a half truth, "I hadn't thought about it when I was getting dressed, this is just the easiest way to get it out of my face, but if you think it's okay I'll give it a try and see how it feels."

He took my hand and pulled me out toward the stairs so we could make our way to the gym. "Leave it up," He commented when we entered the now bustling room of Merry Men. He gave me a chaste kiss on the head and went into the weight room where he was instantly surrounded by the guys. Oh yea, somebody on monitors needed a lesson in keeping their mouth shut.

I decided to begin with the rowing machine. I hated it, because it made my muscles scream in ten minutes, but I had to admit my abs were beginning to show the evidence of my work so I started there to get it out of the way. Just as I was switching machines Tank came over and got on a treadmill next to my bike.

"Little Girl, it's nice to see you down here." He commented in lieu of a good morning.

"You too, big guy," I teased as though he would be anywhere else first thing in the morning.

"So tell me about your day yesterday and we can save ourselves the time meeting about it upstairs." Tank suggested while increasing the incline and the speed of his machine.

I slowed down so I could talk without getting so winded that I would pass out and told him everything I learned from the girls at Smith and Sons yesterday.

"Man, I didn't see that coming," Tank summed up when I was done. His breathing had barely increased in stark contract to me. I knew was red faced, sweat covered and grasping for enough air at one time to speak in complete sentences.

"What do I tell him?" I asked.

"I'd lay it out for him and see what he says. Our job was to find out what was happening and you did that. It's up to him to figure out what to do with the information." Tank told me.

"I'll call him this morning," I said before sucking in a few more breaths. "I'll see if he wants to meet or just have me tell him on the phone."

"You can have him come here if you'd like so he is away from his staff to consider his next move," Tank suggested.

"Thanks," I replied.

"You know you can use the conference room anytime, there's no need for thanks," Tank said.

"No, not for that," I began. "Thanks for suggesting I do this. It really helped to get out of the office again. I was beginning to doubt what I could do." I admitted.

"Anytime, Little Girl," Tank said before shutting down the treadmill and heading over to the punching bags.

I was getting hot and was glad I had worn my hair up. Plenty of guys had said good morning to me and no one seemed to stair or even notice that what I considered to be my horrendous scar was on display. I looked around the gym and noticed the guy's bodies. It was easy to get lost in how fabulous they all looked, but if I focused on their exposed skin, their exposed sweaty glistening skin, I could see every single one of them had a visible scar on them somewhere. At least here, my scar made me blend in instead of sticking out. Maybe tomorrow I would get brave enough to wear my old clothes for working out and quit trying to hide my back too. About that time Vince strutted by and took off his shirt to begin jogging on the treadmill Tank had just been on. He had a scar that began three inches to the side of his belly button. I noticed it ran straight down into the waist band of his pants. For a brief moment I allowed myself to wonder just how far it went. Then I shook my head to clear that particular thought out and jumped down from the bike stumbling slightly before righting myself.

Vince was laughing when I looked up causing me to ask what was so funny.

"I've never seen someone fall off a stationary bike before," He laughed.

I stuck my tongue out and decided to just retreat instead of risking being asked what had me so distracted. Maybe tomorrow I would come in wearing short running pants and a sports bra to work out. If they saw my scars the way I saw theirs, I might be able to distract Vince enough to fall off his treadmill and put an end to his laughter.

I stood in front of my closet contemplating my outfit for the day. I decided to go back to my old RangeMan uniform of low waisted cargos and a short polo shirt with Ranger's name embroidered on my left breast. If I had to bend over, anyone behind me would see my burn mark, but I wanted to see how it felt to be so exposed in front of the guys I trusted. I also had another session with Mac in the middle of the day so if it went badly I could still talk to him.

I called Mr. Smith and arranged for him to come to Haywood at 11:00 to discuss what I found out yesterday. While I was waiting I decided to attack my never ending in-box full of search requests.

An hour into my work day Tank buzzed me and asked if I could come into his office.

When I walked through the door I saw Hanson standing beside one of the guest chairs in front of the desk.

I greeted him but felt from the way he was holding back he was here to deliver bad news.

"Okay, just tell me what it is so I can figure out how I'm going to deal with it," I warned him.

"Tell you what?" Hanson asked with a surprised expression on his face.

"Tell me whatever the bad news is that you obviously don't want to say out loud. I promise not to yell at you if you just spit it out and let me deal with it," I suggested.

He shook his head, "I keep forgetting about your unusual sense about people." Hanson started. "This afternoon is Morelli's arraignment. I spoke with the DA and he said he is going to request that Morelli is remanded without bail. We have a chance of this working in our favor since the last time he was arrested he went on the run and you were the only bounty hunter that could bring him in. The DA is going to argue that it seems highly unlikely that you would be willing to put yourself in that situation again."

I had to agree with the logic of the DA's argument.

"The problem is that Morelli has a top notch attorney from Newark representing him and he will probably go for bail, even at a high level assuming Joe's connections to the community will get him bonded out regardless of the amount. I've already talked to Vinnie and he agreed not to post bond, but Les Sebring hasn't been as accommodating." Hanson finished.

"So you're worried that Joe will be on the streets again by the end of the day and you came to warn me?" I asked if I had it straight.

"That sums it up," He said clearly not liking the message.

"Well, just let me know what happens so I can deal with it. Is there anything I can do? Would my presence in the court room be helpful?" I wondered.

Hanson's eyes shot up at my suggestion, "Geez, I forget who I'm dealing with. You have to be the strongest woman I've ever met."

I blushed at his praise. "There's something different about you from the last time we met. You seem to be more sure of yourself, more comfortable. What's happened?" He wondered.

I wasn't about to tell him where my bout of confidence really stemmed from. I couldn't tell him that it was because I spent the night with an amazing man who I think I'm in love with. I also felt stronger and more self-assured since I heard him whisper that he loved me before I fell asleep. Hearing someone whisper those words does wonders for one's self-esteem. Instead I just went with a cliché, "I'm trying to fix what I can and not let the rest of it bother me any more."

"Well, to answer your question, no I don't think your presence will matter. The DA has photos that he will present that show the worst of your injuries from Joe, so I don't know if your presence could help. If anything it might create a scene if there are many people there and at least for this portion of the trial it needs to be calm." He responded, much to my relief. I may have appeared to be calm and okay with this latest development but inside I was terrified that Joe might be out by the end of the day.

"I also need to see if you have time to work with me this afternoon. Morelli's attorney is eager to get a deposition from you to begin preparing for the trial. The DA wants to bring this to court as quickly as possible while Joe's anger is still so easy in incite. We won't have much time to work on your responses and get you ready before they will want to begin grilling you under oath." He warned.

"I have a meeting at 11:00 that should take an hour, and another appointment right after. I could be free any time after that," I told him hesitantly. When I agreed to press charges I hadn't thought of what my role would be in the whole trial fiasco.

Any extra confidence I may have entered the room with was long gone now. "Hey," Hanson said pulling me from my insecurities. "I promised you I would fight for you and I'll be with you every step of the way. Don't start worrying about this part. I'll help you and you will be ready for whatever they throw at you." He promised.

"Okay," I said standing up. "Just let me know when you want to meet and I'll be ready," I promised as I turned to leave the room.

I was only six feet away from Tank's office when I heard a fist hit the wall. I could see Tank standing still so I knew it was Hanson that was upset. Although over what I had no idea.

He gave me my only clue when he told Tank, "I know what I need to do to help her, but damn it I don't want to do it." I didn't like the sound of that but I needed to prepare for my meeting with Mr. Smith, so I would worry about what Hanson meant later

Mr. Smith came promptly at 11:00 and Woody brought him to the conference room as I'd asked. I took a seat across the table from him and went through the story as I had told it to Cal and Tank.. When I was finished, Mr. Smith put his face in his hands and rested his elbows on the table.

"It isn't what you might think," He said hiding behind his hands.

"What I think doesn't matter," I reminded him. "You asked me to find out what happened and I did."

"But you must think I am a horrible man to have betrayed my wife when she was so vulnerable." He confessed.

"I can't begin to understand how difficult your wife's illness has been for the both of you and how it has affected your marriage, but I think what type of man you are can be determined based on what you do right now." I advised him hoping to pull him from his guilt and into some sort of plan of action.

"What do I do?" He asked.

"Are you really asking for my opinion?" I wondered.

He nodded, which was all the encouragement I needed to speak freely. "I think you need to come up with some sort of suitable punishment for Cynthia and Betty, such as an unpaid suspension for a few days. And while they're off you should send them both flowers thanking them for caring about you and Sal enough to risk their livelihoods to do something to help. It was wrong and misguided, but they were trying to remind you of what's important. Their actions were unethical, but their intentions were honorable."

He listened as I spoke. "That's probably good advice. I may have them eat a little crow and call the client to apologize for 'losing' her checks, but we've lost the account and it is probably for the best. Besides, I can't fire them outright or Sal will want to know why." Then he hesitated before continuing, "I don't want you to think I'm a heartless man."

"Mr. Smith, I'm sure you aren't. I can't imagine how hard it has been to watch someone you love go through such drastic changes. But perhaps instead of freely giving your attention to a stranger, you should focus that energy on making sure your wife knows she is still adored regardless of how she looks." I ventured to advise.

"I've told her that, but she doesn't seem to believe me." He defended.

"Words are one thing, but have you shown her?" I asked.

"How do you show that to someone?" He pressed apparently clueless.

"I don't know what your wife is like, but most women want to not only hear that their husband finds them attractive, but they want to feel it too. Do you still touch her? Do you hold her hand? Do you take the time to slowly wake up with her and talk about your upcoming day? Do you just sit and talk and let a simple reassuring touch tell her that you are listening to what she has to say?" I realized I was overwhelming him and describing all the things Cal had been doing for me for weeks. How could I have ever thought he was only interested in being my friend? Suddenly everything that Cal has been doing for me clicked and it all became clear. I finally understood how important his touches had become and how much I relied on them. Who knew that he had been silently communicating his love and attraction to me for weeks?

"I guess I haven't done those things in a long time," He admitted.

"If she doesn't think that you still appreciate her and the woman she has become, how can you expect her to feel comfortable enough to venture out where complete strangers can pass judgment on her?" I reminded him.

He sat quietly absorbing what I had said. Eventually he stood and shook my hand. "Thank you, Ms. Plum for getting to the bottom of my problem."

"It was nothing, the women in the office told me everything, I did very little while I was there," I told him.

"I didn't mean that, I meant for talking to me about my wife. I think you've helped me figure out the problem with her. I can deal with my staff." He assured me.

I smiled feeling like I had done a good dead for the day and set off in search of Mac.

An hour of talking to Mac was like having a chiropractic adjustment for my attitude. He had a way of setting things in the proper perspective and helping me to see things for how they really were. As our time was coming to a close he asked about my appetite.

"I don't think I've lost any more weight, but I haven't seen many pounds come back either." I told him. "I do think it's getting better though. My ability to enjoy life is getting better and I assume that will extend to my appetite and enthusiasm for food soon enough." I didn't want to tell him that I had finally had a moan come out last night because I wanted to keep my relationship with Cal private for at least a little longer.

Mac reassured me as he did every time we met that I was making great progress. This time I truly believed him.

I grabbed some fruit and a granola bar from the break room and headed back to the conference room to meet with Hanson. When I got there I was surprised to see papers all over the eight foot table. "What exploded in here?" I asked joking.

"These are the different approaches we need to prepare for and whatever else Morelli's attorney may try to throw at you. I thought it would be best to be over prepared and rule out the possibility of you being surprised for your deposition tomorrow." He said grimacing slightly when he said the last word.

"Tomorrow!" I practically yelled. "You said soon, but you didn't say tomorrow."

"I got a call this morning, and they want to begin building their case. I think they are anxious to speak with you first to see what kind of work they have ahead of them. My hope is that they'll see how tight our case is with your testimony and they'll want to plea immediately and keep this from going to trial at all. In order for that to happen though you need to be prepared." He explained pointing at the seemingly endless stacks of papers for us to go over.

I sat down and took a bite of my apple willing it to go down and stay there.

"Alright, let's get started," I said with an unenthusiastic sigh.

"The most important thing for you to remember is that you cannot get mad. No matter what they say, no matter how angry you get, you cannot lose your temper. That would be like giving them a Christmas present early. If they can get you to look like a lose cannon then they might try to say you argued with Joe and even though it got out of hand, you played a role in getting him angry enough to strike you by fighting with him when he was drunk." Hanson explained.

"Got it, don't get angry," I repeated trying to commit his advice to memory.

"They are probably going to ask about your work at RangeMan, especially the distractions you do and any late night surveillance shifts. Anything that could show that you routinely tested the patience of a red blooded male who was merely upset about how you didn't respect him or your relationship by parading around with a string of single men of questionable morals."

"That's not fair, I was just doing my job, it had nothing to do with Joe," I defended.

"I know that, but you need to find a different way of saying it so that doesn't sound like you're angry or defending your behavior. If you sound like your defensive they might be able to act as though your responses would push someone's buttons," Hanson reminded me.

Four hours later we had made it through most of the stacks. He would bring up some isolated example of something I had done and then he would frame it to make me look like a horrible person and Joe the victim of a heartless, unloving girlfriend.

I had enough all of a sudden and stood up pushing my chair back hard enough to roll it into the wall. "I need a break."

Hanson sat back in his chair and let out a loud breath. "I know Stephanie, you're doing great. I'm so sorry to put you through this, but I promised I'd protect you and this is the only way I can do that."

I put my hand on his shoulder as I walked past him. "I know Hanson, I'll be back, I just need a half hour to get myself together and I'll come back to finish. Is that okay?"

"Take all the time you need," He assured me. "I'm not going anywhere."

I had spent the last four hours trying to control my temper and suddenly I was consumed by it. I ran to the stairwell and ran up to the roof. I guess all that time in the gym was paying off. I was out of breath as I hit the door to walk outside, but I didn't pass out.

I walked along the roof mumbling to myself trying to get out my frustration and having very little luck. I heard the door to the roof open ten minutes later and whipped around to see who had interrupted my personal oasis.

A very concerned looking Lester and Bobby were slowing approaching me. Bobby even had his hands up and in front of him as though he was trying to show me he was not a threat. It suddenly hit me that I came up here upset and they were worried I might be considering jumping from the roof and had come up here to stop me.

I put my hand up to stop them. "Guys, I'm fine. I'm not going to jump off the roof."

They both made sounds as thought they knew that, but it was negated by the fact they both looked visibly relieved when I said I wasn't going to jump.

"What's wrong Bomber?" Bobby asked.

I sat down straddling one bench of the picnic table where Cal and I shared our first lunch. "I have spent the last four hours preparing for my deposition with Morelli's attorney tomorrow. Hanson is trying to get me ready for all the nasty stuff they may bring up, while trying to coach me on not losing my temper."

"Shit, Beautiful, no wonder you needed a break," Lester said sitting on the side opposite me.

"How is it that he's the one who has done something wrong but I feel like I'm the one on trial?" I asked, realizing that as my temper faded I was getting upset. I looked up at the clouds hoping the tears that were threatening wouldn't fall and humiliate me in front of my friends.

Bobby sat down beside me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Steph, we are so sorry you are going through this. What can we do to help?"

I shook my head. There was nothing they could do. It was one of those things that wasn't fair but had to be endured anyway. I leaned back a little into Bobby and he rubbed my shoulder lightly. "I think I just need a little space to clear my head. Hanson has a few more hours worth of stuff to over yet." I told them.

Les and Bobby stood up and each kissed my head. "Alright Steph, we'll let control know you're alright and they don't need to monitor this screen," Bobby told me.

"Thanks guys," I said half heartedly.

I leaned over and put my head down on the table on top of my arms. A few minutes after Les and Bobby left I heard the door open yet again. It irritated me that I couldn't even have a few minutes alone on the roof to clear my head without someone needing to check on me. I opened my mouth without looking first and said, "I told Les and Bobby I didn't need any help!"

A very surprised Cal was walking toward me. "Alright, you don't need any help. How about a shoulder to lean on?" He offered.

I instantly regretted my biting words. "A shoulder sounds pretty good right now," I admitted when he sat on the bench behind me. Cal silently pulled me to him so that I was leaning against his chest and our legs were touching as he straddled the bench in the same way I had. His chin rested on top of my head.

We said nothing, but when I felt like I had a good grip on my temper, I turned my face to see him and said, "Thank you."

"Anytime," He replied kissing my head.

"I think I'm ready to go back down and face the rest of what Hanson has to go over." I told him beginning to sit up and pull away from him.

Cal pulled me back to him quickly dipping me back as though we were dancing. He lowered his face to mine and hesitated an inch from my face. Seeing in my eyes that I was okay with him hovering over me, he closed the distance and pressed a kiss on my lips. I returned it, closing my eyes and running one hand through his hair while gripping a handful of his tight black shirt with the other. I softly moaned when his tongue entered my mouth gently exploring and tasting. As the kiss tapered off he pulled back slightly and whispered in a horse voice, "Thank you."

"For what?" I asked.

"Letting me be your shoulder." He confessed.

"There's not another one here that would work for me." I promised him.

Hand in hand we walked to the elevator, riding down to five in silence. Cal walked me to the conference room where Hanson was patiently waiting for me. He softly brushed a curl that had fallen out of my ponytail and then said, "I'll have dinner waiting for you when you're done, just come find me on four."

"Okay," I said encouraged that I had somewhere to go when I was finished other than an empty apartment.

He turned and began to walk away before I called him back. "Hey, Cal…"

"Yea, Angel?" He asked turning around in the hall.

"I love you, today and always." I admitted without blushing and then went into the conference room to prepare for tomorrow.


	12. Defending Honor

_None of the characters belong to me. JE created and perfected them._

_As always, Jenn (perfectmanhattan) you are the absolute best Beta. Thank you for your patience with my rambling story._

**Chapter 12 – Defending Honor**

"That's it, we're all done," Hanson said standing up from his seat at the conference table that had been my torture chamber for the last seven hours.

"Do you think I'm ready?" I asked still unsure myself.

"Absolutely. Remember, you did nothing wrong, but you have to stay calm no matter what they throw at you. I'll be right beside you, as will the DA." He reminded me. "They'll be here at 9:00. I'll ask Tank what room he wants us to use. This is your home turf, don't let them ruffle your feathers. You hold the power here. Remember that."

"I think I can do that." I said hoping it was true.

"Why don't I meet you in Tank's office at 8:45 and we can touch base before going in for the deposition?" Hanson offered as he stood and rolled his sleeves back down to button them at the wrist.

I agreed to meeting him before the deposition as he suggested and slipped out of the room.

I took my time going downstairs and had only knocked on Cal's door with a single rap of my knuckles before he jerked the door open and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me tight against him and covering my mouth with his own in a heated kiss.

When he pulled his lips away from mine I looked up and smiled, asking, "What brought that on?"

"You left me standing in the hallway this afternoon outside the conference room with a goofy smile on my face after what you said," He explained.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I teased, knowing full well that he was referencing me telling him that I loved him.

Cal drew me into the apartment, shutting the door behind us and leading me into the kitchen.

I could smell cheese and marinara as we got closer to the kitchen. He opened the oven and drew out two meatball subs that could have only come from Pino's. My eyes got big and I reached out to grab one.

"I'm glad to see you seem to have your appetite tonight," He joked sliding a plate under my sandwich as I took a first bite.

We sat down on his couch, talking as we ate. I only made it through half of my sub before feeling full, but I had to say I fully enjoyed the half I ate. I sat down my plate but as I leaned back Cal's hand moved up to the corner of my lips wiping off some sauce that got away. Giving up on his effort to wipe the remaining sauce off around my lips, he leaned forward and slowly removed the sauce with his tongue before kissing me.

"I could get used to this," I admitted between kisses.

"I hope so," He responded, "Because I have every intent of doing it every chance I get."

Two hours later I was beginning to yawn and knew I wouldn't be able to stay awake much longer. "I need to call it a night." I confessed sadly.

Cal walked me to the door and gave me one final kiss strong enough to curl my toes before I walked down the hall to my own apartment.

I pulled off my uniform, cleaned up and put on my cotton shorts and a cut off tank top for pajamas. I stood there debating for a moment before I gave up and took off the pajamas and put on Cal's shirt that I wore home the day before. I had just crawled into bed when I heard a light knock on my door.

I jumped up and answered the knocking surprised to find Cal in a pair of shorts and t-shirt.

"Didn't I just say good-night to you?" I asked him standing to the side so he could come in.

Cal looked down slightly as though he was embarrassed before answering, "I tried to go to sleep, but after only two nights with you, I couldn't get comfortable alone."

I took his hand in mine and led him to my bed. We both laid down and snuggled into our favorite position, with him spooning me and tucking me close to him. As I drifted off to sleep I wondered if he really had trouble sleeping or if he made up the story just to comfort me because of how worked up I was about tomorrow. The reason didn't matter, because with his arms around me I felt sleep come and my worries leave.

The next day Cal woke me up by leaving a trail of kisses on my neck which caused me to shiver in delight at his light touches. We spent thirty minutes saying good morning before he left me to get ready for the gym.

I threw on a sports bra and running shorts before putting a tank top on to cover up a bit. It was 5:30, so I had plenty of time to get in a workout and pull myself together before meeting Hanson at 8:45.

It seemed that the guys knew I was distracted with thoughts about the deposition so they didn't interrupt me during my workout. They would nod to me slightly and then go about their own work outs. I stayed in the gym until 6:30 before quitting.

After my shower, I stood in front of my closet at a loss for what I should wear. How did you dress to be interrogated? They could call it a deposition all they wanted, but it was just slapping a fancy and politically correct term for trying to turn me into the bad guy. I decided I would dress the part I needed to play. They wanted me to be the villain, but I refused to be cast in that role.

I found an ivory fitted sheath dress that fell three inches above my knees. The jacket that matched had embossed designs in the same color and covered my shoulders with short sleeves. I put on my three inch sling back heels after deciding the higher heels I usually wore might cheapen the look of the dress. I initially bought the dress to wear to a co-worker's wedding before becoming a bounty hunter, but I realized that it was the perfect attire for today's interrogation. The outfit was elegant and classy but was stylish enough that I could still turn heads in it.

I looked at myself in the mirror and was pleased with the way it turned out. My hair, of course, wouldn't curl the way I wanted it to. I finally gave up realizing if ever there was a time I didn't need to hide my scar, it was today. I began to pull my hair up into a French braid, carefully pulling out some pieces to soften the effect around my face and neck. I hardly recognized myself.

The elevator opened on the fifth floor with two minutes to spare. Tank's door was open so I walked straight in. Hanson and Tank were talking softly by the window and didn't notice me come in.

I cleared my throat drawing attention to my presence. When they turned around both of their mouths hung open seeing my unusually elegant appearance.

"Ms. Plum," Hanson began. "You are a vision. Those Newark attorneys won't know what hit them when you walk in the conference room."

I reddened slightly at his praise, but realized that this was the effect I was going after. Hanson motioned for me to take a seat and we reviewed all his advice from yesterday. I needed to remember to stay calm and composed during this meeting and I needed to remember not to fidget. Five minutes before nine Tank asked if I'd had breakfast. I shook my head no. I'd been afraid to eat because I was so worked up I thought it wouldn't stay down anyway.

Tank went over to his desk and pulled out a white bag from his top desk drawer. I recognized the Tasty Pastry bag immediately and smiled my thanks. Inside were two Boston creams. I ate them both and thanked him for thinking of me.

"I can't have you passing out from hunger before you get the chance to show them what an amazing woman you are." Tank replied.

Junior buzzed Tank's office to let us know they were ready for us in the conference room. I was surprised as we walked to meet them that I didn't see any of the guys in their cubicles.

A few feet from the door I paused to quickly collect myself and gather up my courage. Hanson put his hand on my back just above my scar. Of course he had no idea how close his hand was, but I knew. My back stiffened at the thought of someone having their hand so close to the mark Joe left there. I realized how much he had taken from me and I tried to hang onto that feeling of determination to set the record straight about what had happened.

I nodded to Hanson that I was ready. He looked at my face and saw how my expression had changed. Smiling he said, "I can see you're ready. Just remember to stay calm, don't let them get you angry, and if you need a break don't be afraid to ask for one. I'll be right there with you the whole time."

When we walked in the conference room the three men there stood up and faced us. Hanson introduced himself as my attorney before telling me who all the other people were. The lead attorney for Joe's defense was a man named Jefferson. His assistant was a short, quiet man named Johnson. After I'd shaken everybody's hand we sat down and the DA shut the door. The attorney named Jefferson began the deposition.

At exactly 9:05 Jefferson decided to begin with a fast ball, "Ms. Plum, can you tell us what your role is in a distraction?"

I was shocked that they started off with that question. It was as if they were beginning by attacking my life. But Hanson had well prepared me, so I already had an answer ready. I wasn't going to let them ruffle my feathers.

"My role in a distraction is to dress and act in a way that will grab the attention of a dangerous criminal that RangeMan Inc has been contracted to bring back into the criminal justice system. It is my responsibility to get the criminal to leave to place-which is full of innocent people-so that RangeMan can apprehend them in the parking lot. It is done this way to greatly minimize and essentially diminish the chances of civilians and innocent bystanders getting hurt." I explained. I was proud of being able to remember the rehearsed answer.

I noticed Hanson was sitting beside me and had a yellow legal pad on his lap. He appeared to be taking notes, but when I looked down he was actually making little doodles in the margin. When I finished my first answer he wrote, "Great answer," on the tablet.

I caught his eye and he smiled.

"So when you say you dress and act in a certain way, what does that mean?" Jefferson followed up.

"The average skip that I am called in to distract is in the twenty-five to forty-five age bracket, enjoys drinking, partying, and women. To get their attention, I typically pretend to meet them at the bar and feign some interest in them to get them to accompany me to the parking lot." I replied receiving another word of praise from Hanson on his tablet.

"And how do you dress to capture their attention?" He followed up.

"It depends upon the location of the distraction," I answered illusively.

"On February, 23rd you went to Passion for a distraction," Jefferson said while his silent partner slid a picture across the table to me. I recognized the picture because it had appeared in the paper. After the distraction, there was a bar fight that broke out and the police were called. Of course when the police come, so do the reporters and even though I had nothing to do with it, I still managed to get my picture in the paper. "Is this typical of how you dress?" He pushed looking at the skimpy outfit in the picture.

"I often wear revealing clothes in order to get the target's attention quicker, but like I said, it depends upon the location of the distraction." I replied, proud of how I kept my voice calm.

"Do you think it would be difficult for your boyfriend to handle the comments he receives from his co-workers and family about how his girlfriend parades in public dressed as a hooker?" Jefferson asked looking for any sign that I would get angry.

"I would think if he didn't understand why I was dressed that way it would be upsetting. However, I have always been very clear and upfront with anyone that I have dated, on what distractions entail and what my role in them is. That way they fully understand what is happening and why I am dressing in that way. Furthermore, I do have staff from RangeMan on sight to protect and watch over me while I'm out dressed that way." I thought the last part was a nice touch. I looked at Hanson's scribbling and saw him write, "Good, clear, calm." So I figured I did okay.

"Tell me about your relationship with the men who watch over you," Jefferson said as though my answer had given him an opening to get to the 'good stuff.'

"RangeMan always has several team members assigned in various locations during the distraction, in addition to the team outside in charge of apprehending the skip. Their job is to alert me of any activity I might miss because I'm focused on the skip or to protect me if the distraction for some reason does not go according to plan." I explained.

"And these team members are who?" He asked.

"They are employees of RangeMan," I answered, wondering what he was really asking. I looked down at Hanson's pad and saw he was sketching a gun pointed at Jefferson; I had to stifle a laugh at his drawing.

"No, what is their background? The reputation of most RangeMan employees is that they are hired guns, professional thugs if you will." He said baiting me.

"If I will what?" I asked turning the tables on him. I quick glance down showed the words, "Calm Down," being hastily written.

"If you will permit the derogatory, yet often quoted term," He clarified with a fake smile.

"Of course you may use any term you like, but that isn't really a fitting word. You see most of the men employed here have extensive backgrounds in service. They have either served this country in the military or through a branch of government or law enforcement. They are men of the highest honor who would sacrifice their own safety to protect me. I cannot say enough about how highly I regard them or the work they have done to keep me safe when it has been necessary. The word thug has no business in the same sentence as these men." I replied in a calm even voice.

"You don't think it is odd that such large, dangerous men are always around you in public?" Jefferson asked.

"I'll admit it is unusual for a woman to do the kind of work I do. My job carries a certain amount of danger; however my employer has always tried to minimize the danger to me by assigning his staff to protect me. I consider myself quite fortunate that such qualified men are willing to do that job." I told him.

"Have you ever had to provide them any type of repayment for their services?" He inquired.

Hanson leaned forward, "Just what are you asking Mr. Jefferson? She's told you her employer assigns these men to be her bodyguards. It goes without saying that he is paying them for their work. Ms. Plum does not have to add to their remuneration."

"I merely wanted to know if she ever provided any services in return for the diligent care they provided by watching over her body." Jefferson clarified. Essentially he was asking me if I had sex with the guys while they were with me. In essence, the jackass was calling me a prostitute.

"I never have to worry about my colleagues mistaking my role in a distraction with who I am in real life; they have impeccable morals and know me better than that. I trust them with my life." I explained.

"Of course," Jefferson said indicating he was switching topics. "How about Officer Morelli, prior to the alleged incident did you trust him with your life?"

"Before we broke up, months before his attack, I would say I would trust him to watch over me." I tried to answer fairly.

"But did you trust him with your life? When you felt you were in danger, who did you call first?" He pressed the point.

"If I felt I was in immediate danger, I would call someone from RangeMan," I told him honestly.

"Why not Officer Morelli? He was supposed to be your boyfriend, was he not?" Jefferson asked innocently.

"There were two reasons. First Joe had to approach any situation as an officer of the law, which could mean waiting for back up to respond, or calling in additional units who worked in the division responsible for the type of situation I found myself in. RangeMan has the luxury of just sending whoever is closest, so their response time was often faster. Secondly, when Joe came on the scene he was usually worried and his typical reaction to the stress of those situations was to get angry and yell. I tended to want to avoid a public scene if at all possible." I told him.

"Take that," Hanson wrote making me smile again.

"So you knew it upset him to see you in dangerous situations, yet you refused to stop putting yourself in jeopardy? Were you trying to make him angry?" Jefferson asked accusatorially.

"I worked as a bounty hunter when I first became reacquainted with Joe. From the time we began dating he knew that this is what I did for a living. I accepted the danger in his job, and did not see why I needed to change who I was to have a relationship. If he didn't like the danger in my job it was up to him to change." I replied.

"But he was an officer of the law, you could have easily taken another job to support yourself," He tried to press his point.

"Perhaps I could have, and at one point I did try, but I like this job and I was not happy doing anything else." I countered. "In the end we broke up because of our inability to come to a concession about my work."

For the next two hours Jefferson continued to grill me about RangeMan. I would answer as calmly as possible, and Hanson would make comments either aloud or on his tablet privately. I was exhausted and couldn't figure out why they hadn't asked anything about the attacks themselves.

Finally he switched his tactic, "Have you spoken with your family lately?"

"Define lately," I instructed, trying to put off telling him about my mother's opinion of my charges against Joe.

"Have you spoken with your mother at any point in the last month?" He restated.

"Not directly," I said.

"Can you expound upon that?" He motioned with his hand that he wanted me to continue.

"I have called and left messages. She has returned my call with messages of her own. She and I do not see eye to eye about Joe's character and it has been for the best that we have not spoken." I explained with a hint of sadness in my voice that I couldn't stop from coming out.

"So you are locked up in this building with no family contact?" Jefferson asked surprised.

"No, that isn't true," I disagreed.

"What about my statement is false?" I asked haughtily.

"First, I am not locked in here. I come and go as I please, but since the attacks I have been scared and apprehensive so I haven't left the building very often. Most importantly though, I am surrounded by family here."

"Who are you related to here?" He asked interested.

"By blood, no one, but I consider the guys here to be my family. They stand up for me, they protect me, and they support me in what ever way I need. They are more family to me than the woman who refuses to speak to me because she is afraid of the differences in our lives." I told him firmly.

Hanson's pen flew onto the table. "Gentleman, are you planning on asking Ms. Plum about the attacks or is the point of your deposition to grill her on her personal life. I can tell you she has been more than generous in her time with you this morning and I am inclined to say this meeting is over unless you can come up with more pertinent questions."

Reluctantly they turned to the attacks and asked me to give them my most detailed memory of what happened. I had rehearsed this with Hanson and retold the story exactly as I remembered it. They did not interrupt me and they did not ask any follow up questions.

When I was finished, they simply thanked me for my time and began to pack up to leave. When they were finished Hanson escorted them out, but I stayed in my chair. I wasn't entirely sure my legs would support me and I needed some time to pull myself together. Having to keep my temper in check for so long was exhausting. I was so glad the guys hadn't been hanging around outside the conference room.

A soft knock came to the door and I didn't respond. I figured who ever it was would just let themselves in anyway. The door opened slowly and Hanson came back to my side and sat down in his chair to my right.

"You did perfectly. I can't believe how calm and civil you were when what they really deserved was to have their heads ripped off for speaking to you as though any of this was your fault." Hanson began.

I looked at him as he spoke and he seemed to be sincere. Then the carefully constructed façade I had worked to maintain broke and I burst into tears. Hanson didn't hesitate at all to put his arms around me and let me cry on his shoulder.

I was finally able to pull myself together and wiped the tears off my face as I pulled away. "I'm so sorry, I got your jacket wet," I apologized mortified for falling apart.

"I knew they would be tough, but I don't know if the prep work we did yesterday really helped in handling those questions. That was totally uncalled for. It seems that they're going to portray Morelli as being guilty but it wasn't his fault because he was provoked by your behavior. I'll be sure to cut this off at the knees when I help to depose Morelli in a few days." He promised.

I felt better knowing Joe would have to answer some tough questions too. I had a feeling Hanson would be a difficult man to face across the table.

Hanson put his hand out to me. "Come on," He encouraged, "I think there are some guys out here that want to tell you what a good job you did."

"What?" I practically screamed. "How would they know what happened in here?"

Hanson pointed at the little camera in the corner and I realized the guys had probably watched the whole thing either in the control room or at their desks. Sometimes, having no secrets was humiliating. "I guess they all saw my little melt down?" I wondered.

"I doubt it," He said confusing me. "Come on," He said once again holding out his hand.

I followed him into the hall and saw all the guys in the building lining the wall where I had to pass by them. As I began to walk past them like a float in a parade, most of them said something to let me know how they felt about my performance. "Good job, Bomber," or "Proud of you Steph," rang out above other comments.

When I got to Lester he caught my hand and pulled me to him in a hug, "You're quite a fighter, Beautiful. Thanks for fighting for us too." He said making me realize they appreciated the way I defended them in the midst of my trial.

Bobby ran his finger down my cheek and said, "You certainly had our back, didn't you?"

Tank pulled me away from Bobby, "I've never heard myself described the way you did it. I hope I can live up to your image of us and not disappoint you."

I was blinking like crazy to keep the tears out of my eyes when I felt two strong arms on my hips. I focused on the face before me and couldn't help but return his smile.

"I couldn't be more proud of you, Angel," Cal said, once again knocking down my defenses. The tears started up again and he pulled me tightly against his chest and held me with his strong arms. "You have taken a horrible thing and risen up a stronger woman. I love you, today and always."

I was exhausted, embarrassed about melting down in front of the guys, and suddenly hungry, but I had something I needed to do. I hadn't thought it through but seeing myself through the guys' eyes gave me a mission.

I pulled back just enough to get his attention so I could speak softly and not be overheard as the line of guys walked past us to go back to work. A few of the guys touched me softly on the shoulder or the arm. Three or four of them touched my back. The first time I stiffened, still feeling ashamed of the skin under their fingers. That only strengthened my resolve.

"I need you to take me somewhere," I told him.

"Anywhere you need, just name it." He assured me.

"Remember the guy you said would do a good job if I ever wanted a tattoo?" I began.

I could hear the pride in his voice as he answered. "Absolutely Angel, do you want to change first?"

"I'll change and then I believe you mentioned something about needing to have a little something to drink before hand to make it easier?" I asked with a hint of teasing in my voice.

"Do you want the guys to join us at Shorty's for some pizza and beer and then you and I can leave together to see Ink?" He offered as a way to celebrate surviving the grilling from Joe's attorneys.

"That sounds like a plan," I admitted as he looked at his watch.

"We've got a little time to kill before Shorty's, any idea on what you'd like to do in the meantime?" He asked obviously willing to clear his schedule for anything I needed.

"Let's go downstairs," I suggested formulating a plan as we went.

Cal guided me into his apartment, waiting on clues from me to know what he should do next. "Do you want to talk?" He offered pulling me on the couch and into his lap.

His arms surrounded me with strength and I suddenly felt a shot of courage being surrounded by this loving man. "No, I don't want to talk. In fact, I'd like to forget about words all together."

"Then I'm your man," He answered, pulling my face to his and capturing my lips as he began to understand my cryptic description.

Something in his words struck me and I stopping kissing him to ask, "You're my man?"

He rested his forehead against mine and explained, "Any part, or every part, Steph. I'm yours."

"You're my man," I said, understanding what he meant and reveling in the fact that this wonderful man wanted me. I was broken, scarred and still trying to find my way back, but he wanted me and something in realizing that made me feel stronger.

Cal kept his hands on me constantly, either caressing, or stroking my skin. He even ran his hands down my legs and slid my shoes off one at the time before rubbing my feet. I moaned at the relaxing sensation of his hands masterfully massaging me.

"You can't do that, Angel," Cal instructed pulling my lips back to his own.

"Do what?" I asked clueless.

"Make those sounds," He clarified. "I hear it and I feel like my control is in danger of snapping." He confessed.

I glassed up at the clock over the television and saw it was nearly 6:00. "What time do we need to meet the guys?" I asked, trying to help out with the control issue and make sure I had time to change beforehand.

"We'll meet them there at 7:00." He told me. That gave me just enough time to grab a shower before we left.

I explained that I needed some time to clean off the yuck of the day and that I could be ready at quarter til. Cal walked me to my apartment and flipped on the television there, making himself at home.

I thought about it for a minute and realized I liked having him here and I should be flattered that he wanted to be close to me enough to be bored while he waited.

Pledging to go as quickly as possible I decided to leave my hair up and just wash everything else. I shaved and even took a minute to do a quick home wax. You can never be too prepared. I slipped on a pair of low cut jeans and a short sleeve scoop neck fitted t-shirt. It barely met the waist of my jeans, showing a little skin if I reached too far, but I was determined to wear it anyway. These were my clothes and I deserved to wear them without feeling shame about marks that someone else put on my body. Besides, if I didn't lose my nerve over dinner, the mark everyone would see from now on would be of my choosing.


	13. Marked by Choice

_None of the characters are mine. I'm just blatantly borrowing them from JE for my own amusement._

_Jenn (perfectmanhattan) you are the greatest Beta. Thanks for your speed in returning chapters, and your encouragement of the story._

**Chapter 13 – Marked by Choice**

Shorty's was a blast. The guys were having a blast sharing funny and embarrassing stories about each other. My sides and cheeks hurt from laughing so hard. I noticed Cal never let my beer glass get empty, but still only managed to finish the equivalent of three beers. For the guys it wouldn't have done a thing, but I had a nice happy buzz beginning which only contributed to my enjoyment of the silly stories.

Two hours after we arrived and half an hour after the last piece of pizza disappeared, Cal took my hand and pressed it to his lips. When I looked at him he asked, "Do you still want to make another stop before going home?" There was no pressure, but I could tell he was excited about the idea of me getting a tattoo.

I nodded and placed a soft kiss on his lips getting us whistles and comments to get a room. Cal stood up bringing me with him while informing the guys we had a stop to make and we'd see them later. The guys called out their goodbyes and a few made it a point to thank me for coming out with them. I think they were all relieved to see me leave the building. I had been hiding at RangeMan for a long time, and I'm sure that after spending the morning being insulted and interrogated, they were probably afraid that I would retreat even further from the outside world.

Cal lifted me into the cab of his truck and jogged around to the driver's side. He started it up, but before he put the truck in drive he asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Hell, yea," I said, feeling that the buzz might be growing instead of diminishing with the night air.

Five minutes later we were at a place called Inked. Cal held my hand and led me in the front door. A man covered in colorful designs greeted Cal with a complicated handshake.

"Who's my canvas?" the man Cal addressed as Ink asked.

I was pushed forward slightly and my voice finally made an appearance, "That would be me."

"Got any already?" Ink asked.

"Nope," I admitted.

"Cool, I love virgins," He joked.

Cal was not amused and put his arms around me from behind drawing me closer to him.

"Easy man, it's just a joke." Ink backed down.

I couldn't help but like him. He was shorter than me by a couple of inches and thinner than the average Merry Man, but that didn't mean he was small. Most of Trenton would be considered thinner than the average Merry Man. He had no hair, but his head was covered in swirls of color and designs. I tried to keep from staring but they were really interesting.

"Do you have something specific in mind?" He asked me.

"I have a scar on my back where the skin was burned," I began and I felt Cal's arms instantly tighten. "Can you do something on top of skin like that?"

"I can ink it, but it may not show up as clearly as it would on skin that isn't scar tissue," He warned. "Can I see it?"

I pulled myself from Cal's grip and lifted my shirt slightly in the back to reveal the mark I was most ashamed of.

Ink looked at it and ran his finger over the skin where it was not smooth. "Yea, this would work," He confirmed. "What do you want there?"

"I want a phoenix rising up out of flames," I told him. "Can you do it?"

"Absolutely," He confirmed before motioning for me to follow him. He pulled open a book and showed me half a dozen different ways to present the bird I wanted. "Can I ask why you picked this?" He asked while I was looking at the pictures.

"I know a phoenix is a mythical bird that eventually burns up when its life is over, but out of the ashes it resurrects to live again. In some stories each time it regenerates it comes back stronger and more powerful. I guess I wanted a reminder that what I've been through wasn't the end, it was just the fire that I grew stronger from." I answered.

"I like it," He said as I pointed to the one that was what I pictured. There were flames around the bird's feet, but its head was looking up and its wings were spread out above the flames rising above it.

"This may take a while." Ink warned me. "Go lay down on the table in the back, and I'll be right there."

Cal led me to the room Ink had pointed to and I saw the table, reminiscent of a doctor's office with the paper cover on it.

I layed down on my stomach and lifted my head up to see Cal pulling a stool over to the head of the table. "Okay if I stay in here with you?" He asked.

I nodded, relieved that he was willing to stay without me having to ask.

"I like your choice. I think it's perfect for what you've been through. But, you aren't doing this out of shame are you?" Cal asked.

"No. I'll admit that I don't like the way the skin looks, and I hate the idea of people staring at it, but I decided to turn it into something I wanted it to be. I guess I'm doing it as a reminder to myself that this could be where I shrivel up and stop, or where I start over a little stronger than I was before. I'm choosing to be stronger." I told him.

Cal said my name but interrupted himself by kissing me passionately. We only pulled back when Ink came in and cleared his throat.

He turned on some music, which I didn't recognize, but liked anyway. Then he pushed my shirt up and had me pull my jeans down slightly. He put something cold on my back which caused me to squeal slightly.

"It's just alcohol, Angel," Cal told me with a smile. Then I felt something wet and Ink put a piece of what looked like paper on the wet spot. I had my chin on my fists so I looked to Cal hoping for an explanation of what was happening. "That's a transfer of the picture you want. The gel makes the image transfer to your skin, so he can ink it in and not have to do it freehand."

I saw Ink busy himself prepping a machine and tried not to think about what was about to happen. I was already uncomfortable about needles, but now I was willingly subjecting myself to them. I started to get nervous and Cal laughed at the look on my face. "Just relax, the first few minutes will be uncomfortable, but if you keep breathing you get used to the feeling and it isn't so bad."

True to his word that's exactly how it felt. Every so often Ink would change the color or make adjustments to the machine, but the pain from his work wasn't that bad. He worked quickly, making very little small talk. Much quicker than I thought possible, he announced that he was finished. Cal stood up and walked over before saying, "That's great man," then he returned to my face to say, "I was right, Steph, it's sexy as hell."

I could feel Ink continuing to touch me. He put an ointment on to keep it clean and then covered it with a bandage telling me to leave it on until tomorrow. "This guy knows the drill and can keep an eye on it for you over the next couple of days." He instructed.

We got back out front and I pulled out my credit card that I'd tucked in my jean's pocket before leaving the office. He put his hand out to take it, but then he looked like he was thinking about something and handed me my card back.

"Nah, this one's on me. I like why you did it, and I have a feeling you'll be back sometime. We'll square it up then." He said in such a firm way that I didn't think there was a point in arguing. I thanked him instead.

Cal gave him a fist bump and we left. The adrenaline of the day finally wore off and I was suddenly exhausted. The effort of putting one foot in front of the other was nearly too much for me. Cal saw me slow down, and swept me up bridal style to carry me to the truck. By the time we got to Haywood I was asleep. Cal woke me slightly, lifting me back into his arms when he got to the garage, but I happily snuggled against his chest instead of fully waking to walk up.

I knew we made it to his apartment, but I had no memories after that until the room was being lit with the morning sun. Cal had his arm over me and my back was against his chest, spooning us tightly together. I began my ritual stretch to wake up and felt the tender skin around the tattoo as I moved.

Cal lifted up to rest on his elbow and asked if I was tender.

I knew what he meant and answered, "A little, but my headache is worse than the pain from the tattoo."

"I don't have the cure here, but I can give you a coke and some Tylenol." He offered.

"It's not that bad, I'm sure once I'm up moving around it will go away," I answered as he got up to get the coke and pain reliever anyway.

I took the can from his hand and washed down the two pills with it. "Thanks," I said laying back. He took the can and sat it on the nightstand before sliding back into bed and working his arms around me.

"I could get used to starting the day like this," I murmured with my eyes closed, enjoying the feel of him next to me.

We talked for a bit about dinner last night before Cal asked if he could take a look at my tattoo.

I rolled over on my stomach and he carefully lifted up the t-shirt I was wearing. I didn't bother asking what happened to my clothes. I recognized the shirt I was wearing as one of his so I figured he had taken care of changing me.

I could feel him peeling the tape back before lifting the bandage away. He grabbed some antibiotic ointment from the bathroom and came back with a Q-tip to use as an applicator. "It looks great, and I'm sure you would be fine, but I'd rather keep it clean for a few days to be on the safe side."

"Okay," I said realizing I would let Cal do anything he wanted.

After he was satisfied with my back he asked if I was going to skip the gym. I considered it briefly, but decided even with a sore back, I could manage to ride a bike.

An hour later I was sweaty and ready to go back upstairs. Cal saw me slip off the bike and he jogged over to me making my way to the door. "You'll need to take that bandage off and switch it out for a fresh one after your shower. I'll let myself in and help you with it if you'd like."

I couldn't think of a way to do it myself so I agreed, "Do you need a key to get in?" I naively asked. Seeing the smirk on his face I realized what a silly question it was. "Never mind, I'll see you when you get there."

As I walked away I saw Vince slap Cal on the back and I could have sworn he said, "Man you are one lucky guy," But I couldn't figure out why Vince would feel that way so I didn't think on it again.

Cal was lying across my bed when I stepped out wrapped in a towel. Somehow while I was in the shower he managed to finish his workout, take a shower himself, and get dressed for the day.

He began to get up when I walked out of the bathroom, but when the reality of what I was wearing hit him, he sat back on the bed.

"Tell me you've got on jeans and a shirt on under that towel," He said in a gravely voice.

I shook my head 'no' enjoying the look of him trying to get a firm grip on his control. I decided to push him a little to see what would happen. "Nope, there is nothing under this towel but me. If it would make you more comfortable, I could put on some panties." Where the sex kitten voice came from, I have no idea.

"I think that's a good idea," He said visibly swallowing afterwards.

I opened my dresser and reached to the back to pull out the slinkiest black thong and matching strapless lace bra that I owned. I put them in my hand and went in the bathroom to put them on.

I came back out, with the towel rewrapped and asked where he wanted me.

Cal stood up and pointed to the bed, so I loosened the towel as I laid down where he indicated.

Cal pulled the towel down and gasped out loud. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. "Sweet Jesus, Angel, I don't know if this is an improvement or not."

I lifted up and turned toward him, but he put a hand on my shoulder indicating I shouldn't roll over. "You can't do that," He warned. "I'll barely be able to walk as it is thinking about you with this on underneath your clothes. But, if I see it from the front I'm not sure you'll be able to walk today." I understood his warning and decided I had pushed him enough.

I laid back down and let him put more ointment on and apply another bandage. "After tonight, if it still looks good, you won't need to do this." He told me.

When he was finished he pressed a kiss slightly above the gauze, but his cell phone rang preventing him from giving me any more attention.

The conversation was short, but I heard him tell the caller he still needed to get dressed and would meet them at the truck in ten minutes.

I could tell he had his uniform on for the day, so the dressing he referred to would come from his safe in the closet of his bedroom.

I took his distraction as my chance to throw on a pair of cargos and a RangeMan shirt so that I was ready when he hung up.

"Can I come with you to get dressed?" I asked, not sure why I wanted to watch him get armed.

He smiled and held out a hand of invitation.

I sat on the bed with my legs crossed and watched him strap on an ankle holster before putting a loaded cartridge into his small Beretta and snapping it in place. Then he pulled out a knife and put it in the holster that was strapped to the outside of his cargos at his thigh.

He checked his Glock twice before putting it in the case on his belt. A throwing star went in a little leather pouch on his belt, and his Kevlar vest strapped over the top of it all. He pulled down a RangeMan hat pushing his hair back with his left hand before putting the hat on with his right.

I'd watched the guys put on weapons plenty of times and it never ceased to amaze me how the gentle men could turn into such fierce warriors so easily. Cal turned around and I expected to see his blank face, but instead I just saw my Cal. I touched his cheek lightly and he grabbed my hand before saying, "Walk me down?"

I followed, allowing my acceptance of his offer to be implied. When the elevator doors opened to the garage, I was surprised to see Tank, Vince and Junior already there sporting their fighting faces. I kissed Cal and stepped away allowing him to join the others and get ready for whatever danger they were about to step into.

The guys talked briefly before they all yelled goodbye to me. Cal was the last one to get in the truck with Junior but before he shut the door he called out, "Hey Steph…"

"Yea?" I prompted.

"I love you, today and always." With that proclamation he shut the door and they were gone.

I wandered back upstairs and was surprised to see Hanson sitting on my desk smiling at me. When he didn't say anything or make an attempt to move, I asked, "What?

"Tomorrow morning I am going to the law offices of Jefferson, Jamison, and Salls to assist the DA with Morelli's deposition and I need your help." He explained his grin.

"What can I do to help?" I asked anxious about what he thought I could do.

"I need you to help me boost my list of questions. I need to hook that famous Morelli temper and I need your help to craft some questions that will do that." He told me handing me a file folder with pages torn off a legal pad like the one he wrote on yesterday.

I opened the folder and saw his handwritten list. "You know, most people use computers to type this sort of thing," I teased him.

He shrugged his shoulders giving me the impression that he was not a fan of sitting in front of a monitor typing. Most of the list dealt with the attack, Joe's military and fight training, and a few were of his family history designed to bring up the alcoholism that was rampant in his relatives. A small piece of me felt sorry for Joe, I knew how much he had tried to rise above all of this and having to answer questions about it would be humiliating. I sat down in my desk chair and leaned back, but the tattoo was still tender when it hit the back of the chair causing me to sit up again. That brief reminder of what I had been through was enough to shake my pity for Joe and hook the fight in me.

"Did you bring some paper?" I asked, already turning the questions around in my head.

I told Hanson about the bets at the station that Joe participated in regarding my cars and how he would call Ranger if I hadn't when I was in danger. I explained how Joe and RangeMan worked together on many cases and how from time to time Joe even asked me to gather information for him. If he was so opposed to my job, he certainly didn't have a problem exploiting it for his gain. I told Hanson about the months before our break-up and how Joe began to drink, small amounts at first, but then it increased and eventually became a problem. I explained about his argumentative nature when he was drunk and how over time his aggressiveness became mean and eventually violent. When I was finished with the details of how Joe had changed I realized Hanson wasn't writing anything.

"What's wrong?" I asked, "Is this not the kind of information you needed?"

Hanson shook his head then held up his pen. He had snapped it in half at some point while I was talking out of his frustration at what Joe had done. "No, you've given me more than enough fuel for the fire. I'm pretty sure I can hook him and show his attorneys the only loose cannon in the courtroom would be Joe and not you. Hopefully, that will be enough to keep this from going to trial. I don't doubt the outcome, but the battle to get there will get ugly. I'd like to avoid that if it is at all possible."

"So would I," I confessed.

"You did great yesterday," Hanson said while pulling his scattered papers together. "There were a few questions that I thought for sure were going to push you over the edge, but you were perfect and kept it together."

"Your notes helped and the pictures you were doodling were funny, so I tried to focus on that instead of the implications of Mr. Jefferson." I told him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what do you need to know?" Hanson looked up curiously.

"Why are you doing this? I mean, I know you are RangeMan's attorney, but the DA is in charge of prosecuting Morelli, so why are you staying involved?"

"Normally, I would just hand everything over to the prosecutor, and this one is pretty good, but once I met you I knew that wouldn't be possible. I know the RangeMan directive to protect you at all cost. I have heard the stories of the crazies that seem to be attracted to you, and how the guys have dropped it all to protect you, but I hadn't met you." He offered as an explanation.

I narrowed my eyes at him indicating that wasn't nearly enough to satisfy my question.

"To be honest, I didn't really understand why the guys seemed to rally around a girl. I mean, these are tough guys and despite how beautifully you defended them yesterday, their street reputation has been earned in part. When I first met you, the spark that the guys told me about wasn't there, yet their commitment to protect you was even fiercer than ever. I had at least six different guys pull me aside and threaten me if I did anything to hurt you. I always thought the guys liked me, so I decided to give you a chance and see if I could help you. Of course the more I talked to you, the more I understood where their loyalty came from. After a while I realized I was fighting for you, not because the guys wanted me to, but because I didn't want to let you down." He admitted.

"There's more still isn't there?" I wondered. I understood his explanation, but it seemed incomplete.

Hanson looked at me as though he were trying to decide what to say. "You don't let things drop do you?"

I shook my head no.

"My mom was a good woman. She raised me by herself and sacrificed to be sure I had everything I needed. After I left for the Navy, she got married to a guy from the neighborhood where I grew up. I knew him only as well as a teenage boy can know a fifty year old man, but I thought it would be good for her because she wouldn't be alone while I was gone. To begin with, she wrote letters, sent packages, and called when I was allowed to take calls. There was a steady stream of contact from home, but after the first three months it began to slow down until I went two or three weeks without hearing from her."

He paused briefly and looked at the window instead of me when he continued. "When I got my first extended shore leave, I went back home unannounced. She was asleep on the couch when I walked in so I snuck over to surprise her and saw she had a black eye, and a swollen jaw. She woke up when I threw the bowl that was sitting on the coffee table, shattering it against the wall. It took a lot of convincing, but she finally told me that her husband had started drinking after they got married and lately when he came home he was a little rough. Apparently she threw him out after the last episode and assured me he hadn't returned since giving her those bruises."

Hanson's knuckles were white from the tension in his fists. "I begged her to press charges and have the police arrest him, but she refused, saying it would only create a public spectacle and she couldn't handle that so I let it go. It seemed that he was leaving her alone so I thought the danger was gone. The problem is it ate at her. She went out less, and then stopped socializing with her old friends, eating was a chore, and she just began to fade. He took something from my mother that she never got back. She died about four years later. The doctor said her cause of death was undetermined, apparently autopsies can't answer all the questions, but I knew she died because she gave up when that man beat the spirit out of her."

I moved closer and put my hand on his arm bringing his attention back to the present and out of that horrible memory. "I couldn't let the same thing happen to you. I could see glimpses of the spirit in you and I couldn't fail you and allow the same thing to happen again. Every day it seemed like you were fighting to get back to yourself and if there was anything I could to help, I promised myself I would do it for you, and for my mother."

I couldn't help myself, I stood up and sat down in Hanson's lap throwing my arms around his neck. His arms came around me instantly and held me just as tightly. "Thank you for not giving up on me." I whispered.

After a few minutes I felt his arms relax so I pulled back, but I didn't stand up. "I've been doing this for a few years now at RangeMan, and none of the guys have ever thanked me like this," He teased defusing the emotion in the room.

"I can talk to them if you like, but you need to be prepared for when Tank first sits in your lap. The combined weight alone may break the chair," I laughed, while standing up.

"Stephanie," Hanson caught my attention with his more serious voice and the use of my full name so I turned back to face him.

"I promised to fight for you and I will. Partly because of what I know could have happened to you without RangeMan to help, but mostly because you deserve it. You really do have a light about you that I couldn't understand until I met you." He repeated his earlier pledge.

"Thank you," I said quietly as I turned to leave him to prepare. I got to the door and remembered there was a very important piece of information no one had shared with me yesterday.

I didn't turn around to see him answer but stood in the doorway facing the hall. "Morelli is out on bail?"

I heard the pieces of his broken pen fly across the room. "Yes, the judge set it at $250,000 and Les Sebring posted an hour later. The DA is pushing to have the trial begin quickly to shorten the amount of time he's walking around a free man."

"So until the trial is over he is loose in Trenton?" I asked realizing until he was behind bars I wasn't really safe.

"Yes. I know Tank is going to want to talk to you about extra security measures when you leave the building." Hanson warned me.

"That won't be a problem," I said quietly walking back out to my desk.

I sat at my cubicle and starred at the screen for a long time under the guise of working. It almost seemed wrong to put the time on my timesheet as my productivity was nearly non-existent.

I heard the guys in the control room laughing and wondered what was so funny, but didn't have enough curiosity to get up and see. A few minutes later the noise on the floor grew telling me the group that left for a take down this morning had returned.

I wanted to see Cal, to have him hold me and promise to keep me safe while Morelli was out, but I didn't want to be a clingy girlfriend in need of constant reassurance. While the talking was at its loudest, I decided to slip away undetected to go to my apartment alone. Maybe I just needed a little perspective, a little time by myself.

A few hours later, my stomach was growling and I hadn't moved from my thinking position in the middle of my bed. I heard a knock at the door and someone calling my name. My phone started ringing, but I didn't move to answer it. Then I heard the tumbler to my lock turn and knew who ever it was decided to come in without permission. I started to get angry about my lack of privacy, but found I didn't have the energy for it.

I heard footsteps and a familiar voice calling out to me. Two minutes later I felt the bed dip and I turned and opened my eyes to see Cal looking at me with a very worried expression on his face.

I tried to force my eyes to focus seeing if it were possible to read his mind without having to ask him what was wrong. Apparently he understood what I was doing because he told me his concern.

"Why did you leave your desk when you knew we were back? Were you trying to avoid me? Have I done something wrong?" He seemed to think I was up here because I was upset about him. I couldn't allow that.

I pushed myself up half way, supported with my elbows, and told him, "No, you haven't done anything wrong. I just needed to get away from everybody for a while so I came down here."

"Why did you need to get away?" He asked.

"Morelli is out on bail, walking around free until the trial is over," I began.

There is a certain amount of maturity that can be recognized when you know yourself well enough to admit what it is that you need. My gut reaction had been right upstairs. Cal lifted me into his arms and held me there, softly assuring me that I was safe here and that I would be okay. He swore to not let anything happen to me and promised me that this would all be over soon.

The frustration of feeling locked up while the person responsible was walking free came out and I held onto Cal and wept. Patiently he soothed me until the tears dried themselves and I was spent emotionally.

"Alright Angel, let's get you out of here," He encouraged pushing me up to get off the bed.

I ran my fingers through my hair hoping to eliminate the flat spot in the back from laying on it so long and asked, "Where exactly am I going?"

"Let's get out for a while, would you like to see Gamma? I'll bet she could whip up something good for dinner." He suggested.

I didn't know if I wanted to be around anyone else right now. I thought my pity party was over, but I still felt down. "How about a rain check?" I asked. "I think, at least today, I just want to stay in."

Cal looked worried at my response. "Do you want me to rent a movie and we can stay in and watch it together?" His concern that I didn't want to leave was painted on his face.

"Okay, a movie sounds good," I replied trying to make my voice show more enthusiasm than I really felt.

Cal starred at me for a long minute, unnerving me a little with the intensity of his gaze. "How about I go to rent the movie for us to watch and you come over to my place and let me hold you through it? If the movie doesn't interest you, maybe the extra butter on the popcorn and me rubbing your shoulders will."

I was touched at how hard he was trying to pull me out of my funk, realizing being held was probably the best thing he could do for me right now. "That sounds like a great idea," I conceded, "But only if you let me hold the bowl with the popcorn." It was hard to stay down when I was looking into the light blue of his eyes.

He placed a soft kiss on my head before promising to call when he returned with a movie, assuming I would agree to answer the phone this time.

When he left I stood in my den thankful for such an understanding man. He was giving me what I needed - a little space to stay in my head for a while longer, and an evening of comfort. Joe never really understood why I did the things I did, why I liked the danger and adventure of my job because he never understood me. Cal seemed to read me perfectly, this made me realize that I had found someone who not only understood and accepted me, but loved me because of it.

I was down because of the unfairness of the situation; that I was virtually jailed even though I had done nothing wrong. Taking a deep breath I accepted that I would need to stay in a while longer, but eventually I would get justice and I would be able to get my life back. I decided to put on comfortable clothes since I was staying in to watch a movie.

I pulled out some yoga pants from my closet and put them on, feeling the tape over the bandage pull. I stood in front of my mirror and carefully reached to my back and pulled the tape and bandage away. Cal had said I wouldn't need it anymore so I tossed it and then turned my back to the reflective surface to try and catch a glimpse of my new tattoo. It was hard to see because of the angle of the mirror, but I could definitely make out what it was.

I managed to touch it softly and was surprised that it didn't hurt. I could feel the uneven skin of the scar, but it wasn't noticeable because of the way Ink had painted the flames. The texture only made the bird look more realistic. I liked it. Looking at what I had chosen to put on my body reminded me, that my situation here was temporary, but I was still in control of my life. I changed my shirt to something a little looser and decided to get ready for an evening with Cal. This was my life, and I refused to spend any more time today feeling sorry for myself. The phoenix on my back was a great reminder that I was still rising from the flames and it might not be comfortable all the time, but pretty soon I would be stronger than ever.


	14. Trials

_I am borrowing JE's characters for this story, they are not mine._

_Special thanks to Jenn (perfectmanhattan) for her masterful Beta skills. You are making this story so much more fun to write._

**Chapter 14 – Trials**

"Good morning, Angel," Cal said as he brushed the hair away from my neck to run light kisses up and down.

"Five more minutes," I pleaded.

"Five more minutes of what?" He asked kissing me more. "Of this?" He teased, moving up to plant a trail of kisses up to my ear. "Or this?" He asked, rolling me over to gain access to more of my neck.

"Yes," I said, as I let out a sigh, making Cal laugh at my attempt to answer.

"Yes to which one?" He pressed for me to clarify.

"All of them," I said smiling and beginning my morning stretching ritual. "You have to be the best alarm clock ever."

"You should see what happens if you try to hit my snooze," He said working his magic lips around the neck of the t-shirt I was wearing.

My eyes shot open, but Cal saw the change of my expression and began to pull away. "Come on Angel, we still have time to get in the gym."

Reluctantly, I took his offered hand and got up. I put on an outfit that was similar to yesterday's: a sports bra, tank top, and low waisted tight shorts. I pulled my hair back into a messy pony tail.

When we got to the gym, Cal gave me a soft lingering kiss at the door and then walked away to lift weights with the guys in the weight room.

I stood in front of the Stairmaster, the machine I considered my nemesis, but today I felt antsy, like I wanted to fight with something and the Stairmaster was going to have to be my opponent. I got on and began to pant nearly instantly, but I refused to give up.

After five minutes I was hot and the tank top was getting on my nerves because it wouldn't stay put. Vince came over to the treadmill behind me and said hello.

I stepped off, tired of fighting with my shirt and pulled it off dropping it on the floor beside me before climbing back on to exercise. When I began to climb again I heard a terrible commotion behind me and turned around to see Vince on the floor.

I jumped down and ran over to him, "Vince are you okay? What happened?"

Vince shook his head and looked nervous when he asked, "Steph, when did you get a tattoo?"

Beginning to realize what happened, I couldn't help but smile. "I got it after dinner at Shorty's. Why?"

He seemed to be in a daze so he stumbled through his response without thinking, "I had no idea...when you took off your shirt...damn it looks good….oh shit...Steph!" No sooner had he said it than he realized I was listening. He jumped up and mumbled out an, "I'm sorry Steph," and literally ran out of the gym.

Cal saw our interaction and came over to see what happened. I told him what Vince said and listened as he laughed out loud. He put a kiss on my head and said, "I told you it was sexy as hell. Now you're making the guys fall off their treadmills."

I watched as he went back to the weight room and within minutes there was a tremendous outpouring of laughter coming from the rest of the guys as Cal told them what happened. I enjoyed the rest of my workout and chuckled as the guys tried to get a peek of my phoenix. They tried to be subtle as they walked by or jogged behind me for five minutes or less and stared at my back.

Usually this type of attention made me uncomfortable, but today it was funny and made me feel appreciated. I guess I had my answer of whether I needed to keep my back covered to prevent people from seeing my scar.

I used my new found confidence to pick out my outfit for the day. I put on a new pair of low cut jeans that Ella had picked up for me in a smaller size. I paired it with a sleeveless shirt that fell just at the waist causing glimpses of my back and stomach to appear every time I moved. I pulled on some black boots with four inch heels and smiled at my reflection in the mirror.

Cal stopped by my cubicle after I'd been working for an hour. "Hey Angel, I have to say I love the new attitude. If I'd known it would have done this for you, I would have taken you to see Ink weeks ago."

I spun around in my chair and countered, "Hmm, and I thought you loved me just the way I was."

All hint of joking left his face and he dropped to a knee in front of my rolling my chair to get me closer to him. He put a hand behind my neck and pulled my face to his before growling, "You know I love you just the way you are, but I have to warn you that the way you are right now is making it very difficult for me to concentrate."

He was leaning in the last two inches to kiss me when Lester walked by, "Damn man," he said smacking Cal on the back of the head. "We all love the tattoo, but you need to let the girl get a little work done."

I had to settle for a quick peck on the lips before Cal jumped up. "I've got a skip to round up, but I should be back before dinner. You want to eat together in my apartment?"

"Sure," I replied eager for more time alone with the muscular man in front of me.

He slipped a key in my hand. "I'll teach you how to pick a lock later, but for now, just let yourself in whenever you're done for the day."

He stood up to leave, but turned back to say, "And Steph, go ahead and bring over your gym clothes. We may have a slow start to the day tomorrow."

I blushed at the suggestion he was making but called back to him as he had begun to walk away. "Hey Cal," I waited for him to turn around before adding, "Be careful. I love you today and always."

I got a sexy wink before he added, "You too," and walked out.

I got back to work until my phone rang. I paused, concerned about answering it but decided I could always hang up if I didn't want to talk to the caller. "Hello,"

"Stephanie, It's Hanson."

"Hey, What's happening?" I asked glad to hear a friendly voice.

"I just finished the deposition with Morelli. The stuff you added to my list worked perfectly. At the end Joe jumped up screaming at the DA that we didn't understand how hard his life was, and if we would leave the two of you alone he thought you could work things out."

"How did Jefferson take it?" I asked.

"He asked the DA to stick around after I left. I think he wants to discuss plea options." Hanson was thrilled with the news he was delivering.

"If the DA agreed to a deal, would it mean jail time for Morelli?" I wondered.

"I can't say for sure, but after we just made him snap at will, it would be hard to pass up bringing this in front of a jury to get a conviction. I don't think the DA's thrilled with the idea of trying a cop in his home town. I'm going to wait here and I'll let you know what he says when comes out." Hanson promised. "If the plea doesn't happen, we go to trial tomorrow with jury selections."

"Alright, thanks for bringing me up to speed." I said before we hung up.

It was early for dinner, but I was done with work. The idea of Joe going to jail without me having to go through a trial was exciting. I might be able to live freely again soon. I decided to quit and go down to pack up a few things before slipping into Cal's apartment. While I was packing I tried to prepare myself for the possibility that tomorrow the trial would begin. I knew my presence wouldn't matter, but I wanted to be there. I sent a text to Tank telling him to let me know what security measures would be necessary for me to go to the courthouse in the morning.

By the time I finished wondering what would happen tomorrow, I had a bag packed and walked over to Cal's, letting myself in with a smile. My cell rang as soon as I shut the door. "Steph, we're going to trial," Hanson's voice told me after I said hello.

I was a bit disappointed. "What happened to the plea?" I asked.

"Jefferson told the DA that Morelli would plea to a lesser charge with probation only. The DA is insisting upon jail time so they turned it down. But don't be too disappointed. Often before a plea can be reached the sides have to go back and forth. We'll start with jury selection in the morning and see what happens from there." Hanson explained.

"I want to be there in the morning, I've already told Tank," I said.

There was silence for a few moments before he said, "I'd love to see you sitting in the courtroom behind me. It won't be exciting, but you're always welcome to come see how I fight."

I let out the breath I'd been holding. "Any instructions?"

"Don't fall asleep," Hanson said with a laugh. "And bring a big dose of 'no doze' for your attorney too."

I laughed before hanging up. I stood in the kitchen with a smile on my face at the memory of Cal referring to me as his own personal no doze. It seemed like it was so long ago that he woke me up one night just to talk. I still can't believe that I had no idea who the caring man was on the other end of the line. Cal opened the door and entered in time to see me sporting my grin over the memory.

He dropped his bag, but I could see he was still fully armed. I was surprised as he took the steps to close the distance between us. "God, I've missed you," He said before kissing me in a way that made sure the silly expression didn't reappear.

When he pulled back we stood there with our foreheads touching, trying to slow our breathing. "Tell me," He prompted.

I sat on the bed and told him everything Hanson had shared while Cal pulled off his vest, guns and knives to lock them in his safe.

"So it looks like we're going to the courthouse in the morning?" Cal summed up.

"I am, but you don't need to drop everything you're doing to sit through a day like this. I already told Tank I was going so he can just assign whoever is free to take me. I'll be fine." I told him.

"Not a chance, Angel. There is no way you are going to the courthouse full of Morelli's family and friends without me beside you. Besides, if I had to guess I would say Tank has already assigned me to the detail anyway. He knows I'd love nothing more than to have another chance to punch Joe." Cal said with a wicked gleam in his eye.

I had trouble sleeping during the night. Every time I drifted off, some picture of Joe in my apartment would resurface and wake me up. The last time was the worst. I was waiting for popcorn to cook in the microwave and suddenly felt fists punching me from behind. I could hear the sound of the corn popping in time with the blows from Joe. I bolted up in bed screaming.

Cal was right beside me and pulled me back down and into his arms. He soothed me and promised that I was going to be alright. I knew I was disrupting his sleep too and I was frustrated that after going for a few weeks with no nightmares that they would suddenly start again, especially ones that were as graphic as these were.

As if he could read my mind Cal said, "Angel, the dreams are coming back like this because you're worried and anxious about the trial beginning tomorrow. You aren't going to have these dreams forever. You're just worried about what to expect in front of a courtroom full of people. You have nothing to be afraid of. I'm right here, and I'm not leaving your side."

I allowed myself to be soothed and laid in Cal's arms until the clock turned to 4:30. I couldn't stand sitting still any longer so I carefully extracted myself from his grip and began getting dressed for the gym. I learned pretty quickly after coming to stay at Haywood that a little early morning exercise would keep me awake through the morning and the flush it brought to my face kept people from noticing the bags under my eyes as much. If I was going to try and fool a courtroom full of people I needed all the exercise I could get.

I was lacing up my sneakers when the bedroom door opened and a gorgeous Cal stepped out running his fingers through his disheveled hair wearing nothing but a low hanging pair of boxers. "Where do you think you're going?" He asked through his yawn.

"I couldn't stay asleep so I thought I'd get a head start in the gym." I admitted, sorry that I'd woken him up too.

"You didn't wake me," He stated as though he understood the guilt on my face. "I'll see you up there in a few minutes."

I went to the gym alone and hopped back on the Stairmaster. I was breathing hard and sweating by the time Cal came in and jumped on a treadmill. I was still going strong when he finished his run causing him to come over to my machine and turn it off.

I looked at him questioningly wondering why he did that.

"You're going to be sore tomorrow from all that. You've been on this for more than thirty minutes," He informed me.

While I was sure he was right about me being sore, I also felt a certain sense of triumph too. I had beaten the machine that most taunted me in the gym. I had finally gotten out a bit of that need to fight and felt like I could relax a little. I spent the last fifteen minutes working on some of the weight machines with Cal concentrating on my upper body. All the time on the bike had done wonders for my legs and lower body. When we were finished, I was exhausted and ready for a long hot shower.

After I was clean I stood in front of my closet in panties and a bra trying to decide what to wear. I had rejected pretty much everything in my closet for one reason or another. I was near the back digging through the tangle of hangers when I heard my door open and Cal announce himself.

"I'm in here," I called out from the back of the closet still wrestling with the clothes shoved in there. Cal came in talking about what to expect at the courthouse when he stopped in mid sentence.

I walked out to see what interrupted his thought and he was standing there starring at me with his mouth hanging open.

"Cal?" I said uncertain of what was wrong.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?" He asked drinking in the sight of me nearly naked in front of him.

It hit me that I was only in my underwear so I turned around and decided to just pick up the first pants suit I came to, but Cal's arms snaked around my waist and pulled me to him.

"Shit Stephanie, if we didn't have to be at the courthouse in less than an hour I don't think I'd be able to let you leave here today. I'm trying to go slow and give you all the time you need to heal, but when I see you like this I don't think I have the strength to stop myself much longer."

I knew what he was saying. At first it was a comfort that he didn't seem to be pressing the physical side of our relationship, but the past couple of days I had been filed with images of things I wanted to do to him and more importantly, things I wished he would do to me. I wanted to see those angel wings again and run my tongue over them. I wanted to feel his hands on me, possessing me as his. I realized too that thinking this way meant I now needed a clean pair of panties before getting dressed.

I turned around to put my arms around his neck and told him, "I appreciate the space you've given me and how you've supported me through all the crap I've been going through. But you need to know that I feel the same way you do and I don't know much longer I can wait to be with you completely. My heart is yours and my body wants to be yours too."

He accepted my words by claiming my mouth. When our tongues met my leg lifted up and wrapped around his hip of its own accord. Cal grabbed the other one and held me up against him supported by his hands under my thighs. I shamelessly wrapped myself completely around him trying to eliminate any space between us and getting aggravated at how many layers of clothes he seemed to have on.

Cal walked us into the closet before setting me down, much to my great disappointment. "I'll be in the den while you get dressed. I'll be beside you all day, and tonight…" He paused to take a deep breath, "Tonight I'll be inside you all night long." He promised.

My knees felt weak so I grabbed the closet's doorframe to steady myself as he walked away. Now I regretted not trying to get more sleep, something told me it was going to be a very long night.

I ended up in a navy blue pants suit with a cream colored blouse underneath. It was conservative, but fitted enough that it showed off my figure. I put on some matching three inch heels, fluffed my hair, which was falling nicely around my face and then began the debate of just how many layers of mascara would be necessary to get through the day. Realizing I still needed to be able to see through the thickened lashes, I went with four coats and then walked out before I changed my mind and threw on some more.

Cal saw me come in the den and announced I was perfect. Then he walked around me trailing his hand and looking at me closely. "You still aren't ready."

"What's missing?" I asked a little worried about what I could have forgotten.

"I don't see your gun," He told me.

"Ah, that's because I don't have one on me," I informed him.

"Steph, you could tuck one in the waist of your pants," He began before I jumped in to interrupt.

"No, I couldn't. This suit is too fitted for any holsters or weapons to be slipped in. Besides, I am going to a secured courthouse full of cops and with you who I can see is armed in every way imaginable so I don't need one." I told him.

"I'd feel better if you at least considered an ankle holster," He suggested bending down as though he were going to give me his.

"No," I said with certainty in my voice. "No guns on me. I'm nervous enough as it is, but the thought of me accidentally causing a gun to go off in a crowded building is too much pressure. I can't do it."

Seeing my point he conceded and held out his hand for us to leave.

At the courthouse I was about to go through the security gate with the metal detectors and screening personnel, but Cal shook his head no and guided me to a side door. The guard there recognized Cal and let us in. Well, that certainly answered the question about how the Merry Men never had to surrender their weapons.

Hanson was waiting outside Courtroom B and smiled when he saw us approach. "Are you ready to fight for consciousness over the next few hours?" He asked.

"I brought my own personal no-doze," I repeated from our conversation last night while glancing up at Cal who had a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

Hanson sat at the table in the front of the courtroom beside the DA. He instructed me to sit directly behind him and then gave me one of his trademark legal pads with a metal pen.

I raised both my eyebrows at the pen and he grinned before explaining, "I was told it was made from steel and wouldn't break no mater how tightly it was gripped. I thought we should give it a try."

True to his word, the next three hours were some of the dullest of my life. Apparently, it was next to impossible to find jurors who had no knowledge of Joe or my exploits as the Bombshell Bounty Hunter. The thirty-eighth potential juror was called. He was a middle aged man, average in every way, but the way he kept glancing at me set of every alarm in my head. He gave all the correct answers to the questions and I knew the defense was going to accept him. I wrote a note and passed it to Hanson. He looked at it and did a RangeMan patented single eyebrow raise, but handed it to the DA.

When it was their turn to question the candidate the DA stood and asked if he had any relatives that had ever been bonded out. The potential juror looked at me first and then shook his head yes. The DA asked if they made their court date or if they had to be apprehended by a Bond Enforcement Agent. He hung his head and said they were hauled in, even though they were innocent. He then went on a brief tirade about how BEAs were just thugs who abused power for money not caring if people had actually committed crimes or not. While I found his speech really offensive I was glad he gave it. The DA requested he be dismissed and I had one less biased person on the jury.

There was a short recess, which Hanson referred to as the judge's pit stop. Just as the proceedings were about to reconvene, I heard an influx in noise at the back of the room. I turned around to see Joe walk in with his cousin Anthony to his right. They walked up to the front and sat behind his attorneys directly across the isle from me.

At that moment I was thankful the pen Hanson gave me was steel or it would have shattered into tiny pieces from my tightened grip. I had felt many things about Joe over the past weeks, but seeing him waltz in the courtroom as though he owned the place exuding confidence hooked my anger and I wanted to scream at him and slap the smirk off his face.

Sensing the change in my mood Cal leaned over and whispered, "Easy Steph, I'm right here. He's not getting through me."

Cal was in full bodyguard mode and in order to keep things professional, we knew that there could be no personal interactions between us. We had to make sure that we didn't give Mr. Jefferson any ammunition to use on me when I was on the witness stand. I understood this, but at the moment I really needed to feel his arms around me.

When the judge returned and Mr. Jefferson stood up focusing his attention on the next candidate, Cal reached over and gave my hand a squeeze allowing his fingers to linger and gently stroke the skin there. I let out a tense breath and felt myself relax under his touch. Just as Mr. Jefferson finished his questions, Cal took his hand back. I met his eyes and mouthed the words, "Thank you."

Cal whispered, "Today and always," back to me and I was filled with the courage and warmth I needed to survive the next few hours.

At 12:30 the judge announced us at recess until 2:00 when the remainder of the jury was to be selected.

Hanson suggested we go to a little deli on the corner. He told Cal there were only a few booths along one side which I thought was a strange detail to share about a restaurant, but when I saw it, I realized he was telling him that it wouldn't hold many people and it would be easy to watch over me there.

I had no appetite but knew I needed to eat something. When the waitress came to take my order I drew a complete blank. Cal spoke up and asked her if it was possible to get some peanut butter on two slices of white bread with fries. She looked at him as though he was crazy ordering something like that for me, so I nodded that it was okay and she scurried off to put in my special order.

I managed to get half the sandwich eaten while Cal and Hanson each dove into their burgers. This was just another day to them and I tried to treat it as such too, but I knew I was still being quiet.

Hanson asked if I was sure I wanted to go back in after lunch. "It will just be more of the same, and if Joe is going to be there too you don't need to put yourself through that."

Cal seemed to agree, but said nothing, leaving the decision completely up to me.

"No, I've started this and I'm determined to see it through." I told him stiffening my resolve.

Cal and Hanson did a little silent communication before Hanson said, "Then let's go in before the good seats are taken."

I appreciated his attempt at humor and followed him onto the sidewalk for the three block walk back to the courthouse. The three of us detoured to the side entrance causing me to wonder if Hanson was armed too. Cal saw the look on my face and told me, "He was a well known fighter pilot who works almost exclusively for RangeMan, I'm betting a knife on his belt, a gun at his ankle and from the way he carries himself one at the back of his waist too."

We were nearly at the door when I heard someone say my name. The voice was familiar but I turned around out of habit and saw Anthony Morelli walking to me. Cal instantly pushed me behind him and Hanson stepped beside Cal blocking me completely.

Seeing that he wasn't going to get past them he spoke loudly so that I could hear him, "Stephanie, Joe just wants to talk to you. He wants to apologize. If you would hear him out I think he might be open to taking a plea and serving some jail time if that's what you're after, but he wants to talk to you one-on-one first."

Hanson spoke up, "You can tell your cousin that Ms. Plum isn't interested in speaking to him alone. If he wishes to apologize to ease his conscience then he can write her a letter or do it in the courtroom, but he needs to let her go."

Anthony backed up, putting his hands in the air slightly, "Alright man, I'm just the messenger here."

He turned and began to jog away which I thought was strange. He knew we wouldn't hurt him but he seemed to be afraid there was danger close by. That's when it hit me that Joe was just using Anthony as a distraction. From the corner of my eye I saw a flash of movement and I reached out to Cal and Hanson with my hands. Feeling my touch, both men turned and saw Joe approaching.

Joe was walking steady making me think he was sober, but his eyes were hard which scared me. It was further proof that the man I once knew was gone forever. If getting the booze out his system didn't bring back the caring man from our time together then I feared he was indeed lost.

Cal's hand was on the gun at his waist and Hanson unbuttoned his suit jacket. Apparently Cal was right about the location of Hanson's piece.

Joe was talking to me but his eyes were on Cal. "Cupcake, I just want to talk to you. If you would call off your goons then we can have a moment in peace and I'll leave you alone."

I didn't have a chance to respond before Cal spoke, "That's not going to happen Morelli. You need to give this up before more charges get added to your file."

"This doesn't concern you," Joe snarled at Cal.

I could see the vein begin to bulge at the side of Joe's neck and I knew he was just one hand gesture away from full blown rage.

I wanted to defuse the situation so I pushed myself between Cal and Hanson and said, "Joe, anything you want to say to me you will need to say right here. I'm not going anywhere alone with you ever again."

Cal stepped in front of me again partially blocking Joe's view of my face but keeping me shielded with his own body. That single act was all it took to set Joe off. I expected him to yell and scream, but what he did caught us all off guard.

Joe reached behind him pulling a gun from his waist and firing at Cal. Cal had reached for his own gun at the same time, but was only fractionally slower in drawing his weapon. Immediately after getting one round off, he shot Hanson in the shoulder preventing him from getting his gun from his waist and knocking him down. I saw Cal hit the pavement and panicked, screaming his name.

Seeing me fall beside Cal infuriated Joe so that he raised his gun at me. I never thought I'd see the day that Joe would break the law like this. I was frozen until Joe began to smile slightly and shift his gun from me back to Cal. That was all it took to motivate me. Cal had dropped his Glock when his head hit the pavement, knocking him out. It was only inches from my hand, easily within my reach.

Joe stepped closer as a few cops began to come out from the sound of gunshots and formed a barrier preventing Joe's escape from the side street where we were.

"So, Cupcake, are you screwing this creep now? Did you leave my bed for him or for the whole lot of them over at Manoso's place? You know when your Ranger gets back he isn't going to want the second's of his men either and then what will you do?" Joe took a few more steps closing the distance between us. "How about I make it easy for you and get rid of this one so you don't have to explain to Manoso why he's been hanging all over you lately?"

I knew Joe was going to shoot Cal again at point blank range. I looked down to see if I could still get to the gun with Joe so close but he grabbed my hair with his left hand, jerking my head up demanding that I look at him when was talking to me.

"Say goodbye," He commanded.

I lunged forward pulling Joe from his steady stance because of his grip on my hair. I caught him off guard just enough to get to Cal's gun, aim it in Joe's general direction and open fire first.

Joe hit the ground immediately and the dozen officers that had been just standing there suddenly rushed forward to knock Joe's gun away and call for paramedics.

I fell on top of Cal just as he began to come to. I looked him over but couldn't see any blood despite knowing he had been shot. Cal saw my face and tried to get up to comfort me but his hand went to his chest as he slowly sat up.

That's when it hit me that part of getting dressed for any RangeMan employee included strapping on their Kevlar vest. Cal pulled me to him, grunting when I fell against his chest.

I moved back rambling, "Oh my God, Cal, are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

He pulled me back gently, "Angel, it's alright. The bullet didn't pierce the vest; I'll just be a little sore for a few days. I need to feel you more than I need you to worry about hurting me. What happened? Did Hanson get Morelli?" He asked looking at the scene in front of us.

Hanson came closer to us with a crude dressing on his bleeding shoulder to answer his question. "Nope, I never got a shot off; it was Stephanie that saved your life, man."

Cal's face turned to me painted with an emotion I didn't recognize. It seemed to be pride in what I had done, and concern that I'd had to shoot someone on his behalf.

"Did you grab your gun after our conversation this morning?" He asked trying to piece together what Hanson said.

"No," I told him smiling. "I told you I didn't need one with all the weapons you had strapped on you and I was right. I used your Glock."

Eddie came over and told me he needed to take my statement but gave me the option of doing it now, or coming down to the station later to do it. I just wanted the whole nightmare to be over so I stayed on the pavement leaning against Cal who had stripped off his shirt and removed his vest so the paramedic could get a look at the already forming bruise on his sculpted chest.

Eddie gave me a hug when he was done and promised to let us know what happened to Joe. He said I got him directly in the chest and the paramedics were working on him, but it didn't look good.

Hanson asked how the police would be viewing the shooting, but Eddie assured him with a dozen cops as witnesses, it was self defense and defense of third party open and shut. There would be no further investigation.

Hanson seemed pleased with that response, and I was just relieved.

We were told we were free to go, and Hanson agreed to go with the EMT's at the scene to get treatment on his shoulder so Cal and I walked to his truck to head back to Haywood.

I was silent on the ride home and Cal didn't press me to talk. I had shot people before, and given the choice I would have done this again, but it was still a hard pill to swallow to think that I might have killed Joe.

When Cal turned off the engine in the garage he turned to me and asked, "Are you ready to go up?"

I nodded, afraid if I spoke I would begin to cry.

Cal came around and put his hands on my waist as I slid out of the cab to the ground. He pulled me tightly to his chest and held me there.

I knew he wanted to know if I was okay, and I wished I could say I was, but the numbness that had surrounded me at the scene had worn off and I hardly knew which emotion to feel first. But at this moment in his arms I recognized the fact that I felt safe. And, safe was something I would never again take for granted.


	15. Today and Always

_None of the characters belong to me, I'm merely borrowing from JE's greatness._

_To the greatest Beta, Jenn (perfectmanhattan), thank you. This is as much your story as it is mine._

**Chapter 15 – Today and Always**

Cal guided me back to his apartment keeping as much contact between us as was possible. It was as if he realized the contact with him was all I had to keep myself from falling apart. When the door shut separating us from the prying eyes of RangeMan he scooped me into his arms and carried me to the bedroom.

Gently, Cal laid my head on his pillow and stretched my legs out straight. He unbuttoned my jacket and then carefully removed each arm from the sleeve. Leaving my side only long enough to retrieve a warm washcloth, he returned and ran it across my face. Using soft circles he wiped the grime and dirt from my neck and shoulders.

Faintly, I heard my cell phone ringing, and Cal raised an eyebrow asking if I wanted to answer it. I nodded and he brought my purse to me so that I could retrieve it. Without looking at the caller ID, I answered my phone by putting it on speaker.

"Stephanie, it's Eddie," I heard my old friend's voice.

"Hey Eddie," I replied without enthusiasm.

"Listen, Steph, I hate to call you like this after everything you've been through today, but I promised I'd let you know about Joe." Eddie began.

I sat up straight and gripped Cal's hand as tightly as I could. "How is he?"

"He's still alive, Steph, but just barely. They worked on him all the way to St. Francis, but the shot went straight into his heart and the damage is significant. The doctors said the next twenty-four hours would be telling. If he survives that, his chances might improve to fifty-fifty, but for right now, he is critical enough that they won't venture a guess. I'll call you if anything changes, but right now it doesn't look good."

I wanted to scream. How dare Joe do this to me? After all he'd taken from me, after all he had done, did he have the gall to die and leave me to deal with this with no one left to blame? I dropped the phone.

Cal closed the phone and tossed it on the floor. "It's going to be alright Angel," He said to both to offer comfort and reassurance.

"Shower," I told him. "I need to take a shower." I needed to get the blood off my hands. I needed to scrub the events of the courthouse off of me.

Cautiously Cal stood up to give me room to move. I didn't drop his hand as I walked to the bathroom. He watched me trying to figure out what he could do. I let go of his hand to put my palm on his cheek and said, "I can take it from here."

Cal silently stepped away, shutting the door behind him.

I stood under the water as hot as I could bear it, hoping it would somehow make me feel better. Hoping the guilt I felt for nearly taking Joe's life would go down the drain. I turned the water hotter and poured an ample amount of shower gel on the washcloth hanging over the edge of the shower door.

Just as the water began to cool slightly, my legs gave out and I slid to the floor of the shower sobbing silently. The steam began to thin and I realized Cal had entered the bathroom letting the mist out of my sauna. Seeing my condition he turned off the water and pulled a fluffy towel from the rack, wrapping it around my shoulders before lifting me from my perch against the wet tile.

He sat me on the cabinet next to the sink and pulled another towel down to dry my body. My tears had tapered off and I was left with puffy eyes and the occasional need to sniff my nose. When he was satisfied that I was dry, he pulled his t-shirt over his head and placed it over mine.

Having taken care of my basic needs, I found myself once again in his strong arms. I leaned against his now bare chest breathing in the scent of him and trying to take some of his strength in the process.

"He was going to kill you. I had to do something." I said softly, as an explanation for my actions.

Cal brought us to the couch and sat with me in his lap. "I know, Angel. You did it to protect me. You didn't do anything wrong. Joe forced your hand, and you did the right thing."

Each sentence was meant to give absolution and in some ways they helped because I knew Cal understood and would never judge me, but that didn't stop me from judging myself.

"I'm sorry this is so hard for you because I hate to see you suffer. But at the same time I know it's because how tender your heart is, and the way you freely love is part of what draws me to you." Cal said stroking my hair as he spoke.

"I can't believe he may die and that I had to be the one to do it. But I couldn't wait. He was going to kill you," I repeated as my explanation as the tears began afresh.

And so we spent the next several hours; I would confess and Cal would forgive. Gradually the pain and the anger and the guilt began to dissolve and the numbness returned in its place. I know the guys wouldn't consider numbness as an improvement for me, but I did. At least it meant I could go to sleep.

When I awoke I realized I was alone in Cal's bed. Rolling over I saw it was 8:00, and based on the amount of sun streaking in through the windows it must be the next morning. I sat up, rubbing my eyes which felt as though they had been cleaned with sand paper when I heard voices coming from the den.

There were several guys in there, but I could still recognize who they were.

Tank was explaining a mission. "So the pick up has to be done tomorrow night. We only have one chance to get him and the target at Boston Harbor. If we miss this opportunity, it could be months before he is in the US again."

"But why do you need me? There are tons of guys here who are just as qualified." Cal answered as though Tank were trying to draft him into leaving.

"The pick up has to be done literally in the harbor. There are only four of you with that kind of training, and we'll need you all." Tank replied.

"So because I was a SEAL, I have to do it?" Cal asked with irritation in his voice. "I can't leave her right now. She is taking the shooting very hard and if he dies, I don't think she'll be able to face it by herself. I need to be here."

This time Les spoke up. "Look man, we'll be around. Bobby and I can watch out for her and you'll only be gone for three days. When you get back, take a few days off and the two of you can go somewhere."

"We wouldn't ask if there was another way. Trust me, we all want to see our Little Girl back to her old self, but she wouldn't want you to let this guy get away because of her." Tank interjected.

I still didn't know exactly what they were talking about, but I realized RangeMan needed Cal to help pick up someone in Boston and apparently there was no other way to get this guy off the streets. I believed them when they said there were no other options. A small piece of me panicked at the idea of Cal being gone, but I also knew he had to go.

I looked around for something to cover up my legs with. I seemed to still be wearing Cal's t-shirt from last night, and nothing else. I opened the drawers in his dresser quietly until I came to a few pairs of boxers. I slipped into the top pair and rolled the waist to make them stay up better. Then I stood with my hand on the door handle and took a deep breath.

Pulling the door open and walking out into the den I asked, "So when do you need to leave?"

Cal stood up and was by my side in an instant. "Angel, I don't want to go, but there is a job in Boston that they need my help with. I'd be gone for three days and I'd need to leave in the next couple of hours. But if you don't want me to go, just say the word and I'll stay." He promised.

I understood what a sacrifice that would be. Refusing a mission when Tank made it clear it was necessary could cost him his job and he would live with the guilt of knowing he could have helped if something went wrong in Boston. I couldn't allow him to stay because of me. I needed to paint on a happy face and help him get out the door.

"You are so sweet to worry about me, but I've had a good night's rest and things are better this morning. Eddie hasn't called which means Joe survived the night so he may pull through. Why don't we get you packed so you can get ready to go?" I said as though no one else were in the room.

Cal took my hand and brought it up to his lips. Without taking his eyes off me he spoke to the guys. "I'll meet the team in the garage in two hours. We can get briefed on the trip up."

The guys filed out without another word being spoken. When we heard the door close Cal spoke again. "I know you're not as okay as you're pretending to be, but I appreciate what you're trying to do. I promise I'll come back as quickly as possible. I can't stand the idea of leaving you when you need me, but they really do need my experience to plan this take down. It's sort of what I specialize in." He offered as an explanation.

"Just promise me you'll be careful and you'll come back to me." I begged of him.

"Of course I will. I love you Steph, and I'll be back because I need to be with you. You're my world now." He confessed, while drawing me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me protectively.

I stood there accepting the comfort he offered for a few minutes before remembering he probably had a lot to do. Reluctantly, I pulled back and told him. "I'm going to my apartment to get ready for the day and give you a little time to pack. I'll come back in an hour and see where you are then."

Cal placed a kiss on my forehead and gave me a brief squeeze before letting me go.

I showered and washed my hair as quickly as I could. Despite having practically boiled myself last night, I still didn't feel clean so the shower this morning was helpful. I dried my hair with some gel in it, threw on a little mascara, realizing there was really very little I could do to cover up the fact I'd spent the better part of the night crying, but I tried. I needed to put on a tough face.

Reaching in my closet I threw on the first pair of jeans and the first black RangeMan polo I came to. I slid into my sneakers and tied them on just as a knock came at my door.

Since I was ready I opened it quickly to see Cal standing there in full black battle gear. I could easily spot three knives, two guns, a set of throwing stars, a stun gun and several bulges that I couldn't identify. This was all in addition to what I knew was probably strapped on under his clothes. Whatever this mission was, it would be dangerous and Cal was prepared to meet that danger.

In his hand appeared to be an empty duffle bag. I looked at him questioningly and he gave me the answer I was after.

"I want you to pack a few things so that you can stay at my place while I'm gone. I may not be here, but I hope that by being around my things it might make you feel less lonely than if you were to stay here."

I threw my arms around him because of his thoughtfulness. He drew me to my bedroom and sat on the bed expecting me to pack in front of him. I dutifully threw in three days worth of clothes and accessories. When I came to my pajamas, he stood up and took my hand to stop me. "I've got you covered for that." He told me cryptically.

Guiding me back to his apartment, he tossed the bag on his bed and I realized twenty four hours ago this wasn't what I thought we would be doing this morning. Honestly I didn't think I'd be able to walk after what I thought we'd be doing last night. While I was day dreaming on how I anticipated we spend the evening, Cal caught me with a new expression on my face and asked what I was thinking.

I instantly blushed unsure of how to explain in the midst of yesterday's tragedy that I was fantasizing about taking his clothes off. I'm assuming my face told him all he needed to know as he didn't hesitate to frame my face with his hands to get my complete attention. "As soon as I'm back, I promise. Yesterday didn't end the way either of us expected. By the time I'm back there should be some sort of resolution and we will be free to take Les' advice and get out of here together. Trust me, I'm anxious to have you all to myself too."

This time I didn't blush. Hearing that he felt the same way I did empowered me and I leaned to him and kissed him for all I was worth. He returned my, kiss emotion for emotion. Using no words we spoke of passion and love, desire and adoration, and of promises to finish this when he returned.

His cell phone rang, pulling us apart while he checked caller ID. "Hey Gamma."

I started to step away to give him some privacy to talk to his grandmother, but his grip around my waist only tightened. "Yea, I have to leave in about fifteen minutes…I'm sure she knows that…Yes, I'll tell her…I promise…Love you too." What a great conversation.

"Gamma made me promise to tell you that you are welcome any time and if you want to stay with her while I'm gone you can sleep in my old room. She'd cook anything you want and she would love to see you." He reported as though the message was obvious but because he promised he had to say it aloud anyway.

"Thanks for passing that along, but I think I'd rather wait and go with you." I told him.

"She would love to see you, even without me. Hell, she'd probably love it even more if you went without me." He said in a self-depreciating way while pulling out three of his t-shirts and putting them in my duffle bag. I'm assuming this was for my pajamas and smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"You'll be back in three days and I'll be right here." I assured him. "Now, you need to get ready to go. I'll be fine, you don't need to worry; I have everything I need here."

"Promise me if you need something you will ask. Les and Bobby will be checking in with you, but they won't know if you need something unless you tell them. I can't stand to think of you just hiding in the apartment for the next three days." Cal pleaded.

"I promise, if I need something, I'll ask someone." I assured him.

"Walk me down?" He asked stepping back and holding out his hand to me.

I let him take my hand in his and relished the feel of it. When we got to the garage Tank nodded at Cal while we approached Hal, Zip and Vince. I knew the backgrounds of each of the guys and knew they had all been Seals. If they were doing a rescue from the harbor of Boston, it made sense that this was the team Tank needed.

"You ready?" Tank asked as we approached.

"Yes, sir," Cal said standing a little straighter, yet still refusing to let go of the grip he had on me.

"I'll do a full brief in the air. Let's roll." Tank finished.

The guys picked up their packs and headed over to a Suburban parked at the edge of the garage. Cal lingered to let them get out of ear shot before leaning down to say, "Stephanie, I love you. I can't believe how much my heart aches at the thought of leaving you here. If you need me, call my call phone. I'll have it on me except for when we're actually running the op."

I reached up while he was talking to stroke the side of his face with the back of fingers. "I'll be waiting for you, so you better be careful. We've only been together a short time, but I need you to come back to me." I threatened him with a joking tone.

He leaned down and said, "I love you Angel, today and always," before kissing me goodbye. The guys were all staring when we finally came up for air which should have embarrassed me, but just this once, my face did not color. Instead I felt warm on the inside without blushing.

I walked back up the stairs and sat at my cubicle trying to figure out what to do next. My mind kept replaying the events of yesterday afternoon and I realized dwelling on it wasn't helping me any so I booted up my computer and decided to get busy and stay that way.

I'd been running searches for about two hours when I had a feeling I was being watched. I turned around and saw Hanson standing there with his right arm in a sling. "Are you trying to show off how productive you can be with the use of both arms?" He teased.

"Some of us take measures to be sure we keep the use of both our arms so that we can still be productive," I countered with the first real smile I'd allowed myself today.

"I'm glad to see you're up here and not wallowing in what happened," He said with a more serious tone.

"I'm trying to stay busy so I won't have time to dwell on it." I told him.

"How's that working for you?" He wondered.

"Not as well as I'd hoped. Every time the computer slows down I have some image pop up in my head. I don't know how to make them stop." I said without meaning to fully confess my struggle.

"It happens to all of us. It will go away in time. You realize you did the right thing, don't you?" He asked.

"I know I didn't have a choice, I was positive he would shoot Cal, but Eddie called last night and said he wasn't sure Joe was going to make it. If he dies, there is a part of me that will be relieved to know he can't hurt me or the people I care about ever again. But I don't want to be the one to have killed the guy I went to school with, the man that once asked me to marry him." I explained.

"What happened? Why didn't you marry him?" Hanson asked.

"I guess we both realized that we weren't ready to get married. Plus, I knew he was only saying it then to justify our sleeping together for our families. It never felt sincere." I confessed.

"How long did you know him?" Hanson inquired.

"Since I was six and he lured me into his garage to play 'choo-choo,'" I answered flatly.

I heard a snapping sound and looked down to see Hanson with two pieces of my pen in his hand. I was about to make a comment about how he needed to stop doing that but my phone buzzed.

"Hey Bomber, it's Bobby," Came his chipper voice through the speaker on my desk.

"Hey Bobby, what can I do for you?" I asked.

"Angie Morelli is at the front door asking to see you. She says she only wants to talk to you for a few minutes and she isn't trying to make a scene. I suggested she call you instead, but she refuses to leave until she hears from you that you won't talk to her." He informed me.

I looked at Hanson for his opinion of what I should do, but his only contribution was a raised eyebrow.

"Tell her I'll be down in five minutes," I told Bobby trying to find the strength to stand up and actually walk down to the front entrance.

Hanson stood up and held out his hand, "Let's go see Mrs. Morelli."

"Let's?" I asked.

"I am your attorney and I think Cal would kick my ass if I let you go down there alone." Hanson answered.

When we stepped off the elevator, Bobby was standing there with his blank face firmly in place. He met us before we made it three steps into the lobby to verify I really wanted to speak to Joe's mother.

"I can't hide from the Burg forever," I told him. "Besides, if I can face Mrs. Morelli, then I should be able to handle anyone else."

"I put her in the smaller conference room," Bobby said pointing to the meeting area off the main room. "I'll be just outside the door. Call if you need me to escort her out."

Hanson put his hand on my lower back and I welcomed his support and guidance.

Opening the door I stepped in and saw Mrs. Morelli sitting at the end of the conference table with her hands folded in her lap and her purse beside her on the floor. I took that as a good sign. If she just wanted to yell at me she wouldn't have sat down and her purse would be in her arms to make for a quicker exit once she'd said her peace.

"Mrs. Morelli," I said remembering my Burg manners. "This is Mr. Hanson, my attorney." I offered as an introduction.

Angie didn't stand but nodded her head before looking back at me.

"Stephanie," She began, causing me to brace myself with a death grip on the chair in front of me. Seeing the white of my knuckles, Hanson pulled out the chair next to me and motioned for me to sit down before he took the seat to my right.

Seeing that we were going to give her the chance to speak, she started again. "I came here today to tell you that I was sorry for what Joe did yesterday. When the boys told me he was drinking, I didn't want to listen to them. I knew what his father had done, but I refused to believe my son would do the same things. When you pressed charges I kept telling myself that you were just bitter that you two were no longer together and you would eventually let this whole horrible thing go."

She looked down and adjusted the rings on her hand and sighed before continuing. "But, Anthony came by yesterday to pick Joe up and take him to the courthouse. I asked if he wanted me to go with him, but he told me no, that he had it all under control." Her voice broke slightly as she said the last words.

"He patted his side slightly under his suit jacket. In the back of my mind, I knew he carried his gun there and I knew he had some how gotten it back from the guys at the station, but I didn't want to admit that he would ever use it to hurt someone. Even when he kissed me goodbye and I smelled the fair scent of whiskey, but I didn't try to warn anyone."

She looked me in the eye when she continued. "If anyone in the world should have recognized the signs of what Joe would be capable of, it should have been me. I'm so sorry for what he did to you, and for what he almost did yesterday."

I jumped up as tears began to form in her eyes and dashed to her side of the table to sit beside her. "I know you were only defending yourself yesterday. Eddie told me you were having a hard time with the thought of shooting Joe and I knew I had to come see you. Stephanie, you did what you had to do to keep yourself safe. Regardless of what happens to Joe, you bear no guilt. He put himself in that hospital, you just happened to be there when it happened."

The tears freely feel down my face as she spoke. I wanted to believe her. I wanted to let the guilt go that I could have some how stopped this from happening. As we wept together I realized if anyone had a right to hate me for what happened it was Angie and if she offered me the chance to let go of the blame then I needed to try.

We talked for another half hour about the Morelli men's curse, before she said she was going back to the hospital. "How is Joe?" I asked.

"He survived the night, which the doctor said was a good sign. Maybe being unconscious for a few days will help to get the alcohol out of his system. I'd like to see him get the help his father would never accept or I'm afraid what will happen the next time. I know from experience that it'll only get worse." She explained.

I thanked her for letting me know and assured her I hoped the same thing for Joe. With a final hug, she left RangeMan and I was dumbfounded over what had just happened.

Hanson summed it up, "I certainly didn't see that coming, but the woman made damn good sense, Steph, I hope you were listening."

"I was listening," I responded, "Now I just need to try and believe her."

"Come on," Hanson encouraged me. "I think the guys are hoping you will join them for dinner in the break room."

I followed him up to five and could smell Pino's as soon as the elevator doors opened. I took a deep breath. As much as I wanted to run back to Cal's apartment and be alone I knew I needed this. I needed the support of my friends and I needed the encouragement they alone could offer.

I walked in and Woody instantly jumped up offering me his chair. Les brought over a plate with two slices with extra cheese and Bobby brought me a can of Coke that he popped open for me. Hanson sat down next to be and smiled.

"What's that face for?" I asked him.

"I've heard them talk about you for years, but seeing them practically trip over themselves to attend you is funny. Of course, now that I know you I have to admit I'd bend over backwards to help you too." He told me.

"And why is that?" I pressed.

"You did save my life," He began while swiping a slice off my plate. "And you do have more moxie than any woman I've ever met."

I took the slice of pizza out of his hand and took a bite of it before he could try to reclaim it causing him to laugh.

"So you and Cal, huh?" He asked, while watching me eat. I raised my eyebrows at him intending it to mean, 'what about us', but it probably looked like I was saying 'I'm shocked you would ask that question.'

He laughed and spoke quietly. "He's a good man so I'm going to back off, but if you ever find yourself in need of a shoulder, or a friend, I'd love to be that person. I've only known you a few weeks, but you've made a big impact on me. My vision may not be as good as it used to be and I may not see as well, but I have seen you, Stephanie, and you are an amazing woman." With a gentle squeeze he stood up and left before I could respond.

Lester took his seat, but was wise enough to bring his own pizza. I wasn't known for sharing food after all. Les teasingly pulled a curl before talking. "Hey Beautiful, I thought you'd like to know that Tank called and the team made it safely to Boston. They have a plan in place and will try to spring into action tonight in the hope of getting him on the first day so they can come home one day sooner. It seems a tall guy with a few tattoos is anxious to get back for some reason. You wouldn't know anything about why he wants to get home quicker, would you?"

"I can't speak for Cal, but the sooner he gets back the happier I'll be," I confessed, wondering just how much the guys knew about us.

There was some laugher at the other end of the room as Woody and Binkie were trading stories about take downs gone wrong. While Les was distracted I let myself think about Cal. Inevitably I thought about his angel wings and remembered that he had that done to honor how he felt about me before we had gotten to know each other very well. Almost on a whim I decided I wanted to do something similar.

I put my hand on Les' arm causing him to jump from the unexpected contact. "I knew it Beautiful," He recovered with a joke, "The big guy is only gone a few hours and you're already having trouble keeping your hands off of me."

I smacked him on the back of his head before leaning over and asking, "There is somewhere I need to go, but I need someone to take me. Is there any chance you can give me a ride?"

"Just let me grab the keys to our chariot and I'll gladly take you anywhere you want to go." He said sincerely.

Five minutes later he returned and put his arm out in a gentlemanly gesture. I hooked my hand over his arm and we made our way to the garage.

He asked where we were headed and I gave him the address. As he took off in the right direction he asked, "How are you doing Beautiful?"

"I've been better, but I've been a whole lot worse. I guess I realized this isn't how I want to feel for the rest of my life, and although I wish things were different, I can't control what other people have done, but I have full control over what I do. So, tonight I'm going to take control and do something I want to."

"I hear that," Les said, approving of my new attitude. Then he added quietly as he put the Explorer in park at the address I gave him, "And Steph, we're all here for you if you need a gentle reminder that you deserve to take control and do the things that make you happy."

I patted his arm and thanked him. I was a very lucky woman to have so many real friends. I silently said a prayer that God would save Joe and give him the ability to realize the people surrounding him now were his friends and were there to help him get his life together.

I got out of the SUV and Les met me at my side. "So what are we doing here?" He asked with a small grin as I walked to the door and let myself in.

A familiar smile greeted me. "You're back. I knew you'd be back."

"I hadn't really thought about, until inspiration hit tonight and realized you were the only person that could help me." I explained my unannounced appearance.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Do you know the skull on Cal's forehead?" I asked.

"Yeah, that piece of art is hard to forget," He laughed.

I pulled the edge of my jeans down slightly thankful they were loose. "I want that same thing right here," I told him pointing to the area just to the left of my hip, in the same exact spot that Cal had his angel wings.

"I can see that," Ink admitted. "That's going to be hot."

Les sat down hard and suddenly, causing me to ask if he was alright. "Yea, Beautiful, I'm good," He said shaking his head to clear it. "But if the guys hear about this, none of us will be able to workout in the gym with you again."

Ink pointed to the back room where he'd done my phoenix and I happily walked back. Even knowing what to expect, I was nervous about the needles, but this time I was more excited. I was choosing to mark myself this time to show how I felt about an incredible man. I couldn't control the future, but at this moment I wanted a reminder that in the midst of all the horror of yesterday's memories I had love in my life and I wanted to celebrate that.

Ink held up a picture of the identical tattoo I had starred at for hours talking to Cal. "Any changes?" He asked.

Then I thought of one little alteration. "In the flames can you put two words that sort of blend into the fire?"

"Sure, what do you want it to say?" He asked ready to transcribe my vision into reality.

"On opposing sides I want the words 'today and always'," I told him.

Ink smiled at me and made the change. He sat about, working quietly and efficiently. When he said he was done, he held up a mirror for me to look at his handiwork. There on the inside of my hip was a miniature version of Cal's tattoo. It was amazing how such a small tattoo could mean so much and make me feel such intense feelings.

After he put the ointment and bandage on I walked out to the front and pulled out my credit card ready to pay for not only this visit but at least part of the phoenix as well. Instead Ink just shook his head.

"No," I told him. "You have to let me pay this time."

"I've seen the news. There is no way I'm taking your money for this. Just promise to tell people when they ask how you got through it all that you decided to go with healing marks and then give them my address when they press for details." Ink explained.

I gave him a hug and walked over to Les who had a strange look on his face.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yup," he said in a different voice than his normal joking baritone. "I'm just trying to find a way to walk out of here without embarrassing myself after picture you getting a tattoo there for the last half hour."

"I'd prefer that this one stay between us, at least until Cal has a chance to see it." I told him.

"No worries, Beautiful," Les assured me standing up to leave. "But when Cal gets back, I'm going to have to give him a little grief about brining his girl in for a tat."

"Tease him all you'd like. I think when he sees his likeness there he won't care that you know. He may even want to flaunt it a little." I picked at Les.

"No doubt. I know any of us would do the same thing." He replied, shutting the SUV door before starting up the engine.

"You're okay?" He asked again. I assume he meant from the procedure, but I chose to answer generally.

"I'm okay, and every day I'm getting better. How could I not make it through this with you guys around?" I said as a joke, but realized the truth in my own words as they left my mouth. Maybe having this new perspective would help me more than anything else.


	16. Better

_While I'm having a great time with them, the characters below were created by and belong to JE._

_Jenn (perfectmanhattan), thanks for all your work in trying to help me say what I mean and catching all the times when I didn't quite succeed._

**Chapter 16 – Better**

Forty-nine hours – that's how long it's been since Cal left for Boston. We spoke the first night after I got back from Ink's shop, but I kept my little secret about what I'd done that night. Now I'm drawing designs on the edge of a legal pad, a habit I'm going to have to hurt Hanson for teaching me, as I wait for another search to finish printing.

As the sound of the printer began to lull me into a semi-conscious state I heard the sound of the guys in the control room suddenly get louder. There were phrases such as "Welcome Back," and "It's good to have you home," being thrown around drawing my interest immediately. I refused to stand up in case it was just one of the contract workers they haven't seen in a while. I don't want it to seem like I'm snooping. Then I caught a voice I hadn't heard in months and when it said the single word "Babe" as a question, I knew Ranger was home.

I stood up intending to welcome him home too but when I drew closer I realized it wasn't just Ranger, but the whole team that left the day before yesterday for Boston. I smiled to myself thinking the "asset" they wanted to pick up must have been him. I stopped walking as my eyes didn't see the one face I most needed to focus on.

Finally I heard his voice and when Cal stepped around the guys heading toward the cubicles where he thought I would be, I took off at a full sprint towards him. I practically leapt the last four feet flinging myself at him and wrapping my arms and legs around his body while planting a full kiss on his delicious lips. Cal responded immediately and held me to him returning my greeting with his own. My eyes were closed as I savored the feel of his muscles supporting mine and the taste of him in my mouth. I could feel that we were moving and had to assume he had the strength to get us wherever he intended us to go. At the moment I didn't care where it was as long as there was the ability to remove the pesky clothes that were keeping me away from what I wanted most.

The ding of the elevator told me we were not staying on the fifth floor and just as the doors began to open for us to step in I heard Ranger's voice again asking, "What in the hell is going on? Who's going to tell me why my woman is plastered to Cal?"

A few of the guys apparently futilely suggested for Ranger to calm down because his final words as the doors closed were, "No, I'm not going to calm down. What happened to Morelli and why in the hell is Cal kissing her?"

In the back of my mind it registered that I needed to talk to Ranger and explain all that had happened while he'd been gone. Still, he had made it abundantly clear before he left that we could never have more than what we had. He said that we had an attraction but no defined relationship. If that's the case, then where did he get off questioning my relationship with Cal? While I was pondering that, Cal let go of my lips to slide his mouth down my neck and over to my ear. His voice was gravely as he asked, "Did you miss me much?"

That was all it took to drive every thought of Ranger completely from my mind. "Only every second of every day." I told him.

"Good," He responded. "Then we're even."

Somehow he worked his magic on the door without needing to put me down. This was a relief as I couldn't stomach the thought of him not touching me even for a brief moment.

As soon as the door shut with a bang from the force of his kick against it I relaxed my legs and slid down to the floor. I knew Cal was probably curious how I was feeling. He most likely had questions for me that included what I'd been doing for the last couple days, but I was not interested in talking. Instead I removed my hands from his neck and used them to untuck his shirttail.

Seeing where I was headed he lifted me up and deposited me on the bar in his kitchen just off the main entrance of the apartment. When I was secure on the countertop, he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor behind him. "Better?" He asked reclaiming my lips, preventing me from answering immediately.

When he moved his mouth back to my ear I took the opportunity to reply and said, "Better, but we're not there yet."

He chuckled at my impatience to have all our clothes in a heap on the floor. Instead of helping me with his belt and cargos, he moved his hands to the three buttons on my polo shirt before pulling it over my head in one swift motion.

I resisted the urge to celebrate getting the buckle undone on his belt. Cal undid his utility belt and sat it down gently on the bar. I was all for spontaneity of the moment, but I knew the kind of firepower clipped on that belt so I didn't rush him. Instead of returning his hands back to my body where I wanted them, he stepped back and straightened out my left leg to remove my sneaker and sock. Repeating the process on the right side I smiled when I noticed him pulling his own boots off by stepping on the heels.

When he moved back between my legs, I pulled him to me hungrily. My fingers trailed across his shoulders and down his chest. The feel of his muscles against my skin renewed my desire to get his pants off so I turned my attention to the button at the top of his pants. I managed to get his cargos undone, and the zipper mostly pulled down before he pulled me against him blocking my access and carrying me to the bedroom.

Reverently, he laid me down in the center of the bed with him on his knees between my legs. I closed my eyes briefly to take a deep breath, hoping to keep from exploding the second he touched me. In that short amount of time Cal managed to undo my pants and had begun to pull them down. I lifted my hips up slightly to make his job easier and was rewarded as he did me the favor of pulling his own pants and socks off before climbing up slowly planting kisses from my toes to my shoulder. "Better?" He asked with a smile in his voice.

"Better, but we're still not quite there." I said with a breathy tone.

While I was answering his hand slid under my back and his magic fingers made easy work of the clasp on my bra. He pulled back only far enough to pull the straps off my shoulders and toss it on the floor to the side of the bed.

I realized then that when he removed his cargos he had also pulled off his boxers because there were no clothes on his body. I licked my lips slightly at this realization and was caught off guard when Cal's mouth attacked mine. His tongue gently touched my own until I pulled him closer to explore his mouth. It was in that powerful kiss that he poured all of his feelings into. He was trying to let me set the tone, but there was no denying how much he wanted this.

"Better?" He asked again with his forehead against mine.

"Better, but we're still not quite there." I responded running my right hand down his abs to his hip and threading my left hand in his hair.

Sensing a challenge, Cal smiled at me and made his way down to my hips. He grabbed the sexy boy shorts I was wearing on each side and tore them off of me, filling the air with a satisfying rip as he tossed them on the floor. It was at that moment that Cal first caught sight of the skull tattoo.

I heard a small gasp as He ran his fingers over the image identical to his own mark and then brought out his bedroom voice to say, "Oh my God, Steph. When did you do this?"

"The day you left," I answered, pleased that he seemed to be so taken with it. "I realized how much you meant to me and how you gave me unconditional support that no one else ever had. I wanted to do something that would be personal to just us. You had the angel wings done for me in a similar spot and I wanted a piece of you on my body as well." I explained.

He opened his mouth breathing in and out and not speaking for a few seconds. Just as I was beginning to grow uncertain that I had made the right choice he lowered his face to the tattoo and kissed it. Pulling back only inches to look at it closer he ran his fingers over the flames and then repeated, "Today and always," when he saw the words incorporated in the design. "God Steph, that's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me." He said before kissing it again. "Man, I thought your other tattoo was sexy, but damn this blows that out of the water. I love having a part of me permanently on your body."

I closed my eyes enjoying the feel of his mouth and hands touching the skin that had been tender but now felt warm from his attention. I felt him shifting his position but was still caught off guard when his mouth moved from the skull at my hip to the sensitive area between my legs. I made an animalistic sound as his tongue made contact with my clit and his fingers moved in circles spreading the moisture that had pooled there.

Cal put one hand on my hip to keep me from coming off the bed and I reached down to intertwine my fingers with the hand restricting my movement. The combination of the long period of time since I'd been with a guy , the weeks of waiting, and how incredibly turned on everything about Cal's return had made me all came together so that I couldn't hold back. "Oh Cal..." I began but my words were swallowed by another sound of pleasure when his tongue retreated in order to suck my clit into his mouth.

I couldn't control it and the orgasm came suddenly causing me to reach between my legs with both hands to grip his hair. He softened his touch marginally before moving his mouth to my inner thigh and sucking hard enough to leave a mark.

"Better?" He asked with a pleased tone.

"Oh God, yes," I said giving him cause to release a satisfied chuckle before I added, "But I don't think we're there yet."

He crawled up my body quickly to look me in the eyes and ask, "No?"

I shook my head.

"Really?" He continued his string of single word questions.

This time as I moved my head from side to side I also put my hand on his hard erection and stroked it as I answered, "No, I think there's still more to do to get where we want to be." Then I took my hands and pushed against his chest indicating that I wanted him to lie down on his back. He willingly went along with my desire as I could never have flipped him without his help.

I let my eyes focus on what had been pulsing in my grip and made my way down to him with kisses, licks and light nips along the way. He made the occasional moan or unintelligible sound which only fueled my need to give him pleasure. I ran my tongue from his base to the tip where a bead of moisture was forming and let out a trademark moan as soon as the taste of it hit my mouth. That sound alone awoke some urge in Cal as I found myself on my back before I had a chance to react.

It was at this moment I was doubly thankful for Bobby's insistence that I switch to quarterly shots for birth control. He suggested it in case something ever went wrong with a skip or a stalker, but at the moment knowing there would be nothing between my body and Cal's was almost creating more anticipation than I could handle.

Cal was between my legs, holding most of his weight on his knees and his left hand. His right hand went to the back of my neck allowing his thumb to rub up and down my scar. "Are you sure?" He asked giving me the chance to slow down, or stop entirely. I knew if I even hesitated, he would pull back to give me all the room I needed. Fortunately, my needs were the same as his at the moment so I answered him by saying, "Absolutely sure."

As soon as the words left my mouth he pushed into me in one swift movement. I tried to stop the scream of pleasure, but only managed to soften it slightly. Cal paused when our hips were pressed against each other and gave me the chance to adjust to him. I was completely overloaded. Every place our skin was touching was warmed by him. My lower stomach was beginning to burn with desire and the few places that weren't being touched by Cal were screaming for his attention. I was consumed with desire, hardly knowing what need to give into first.

I heard him say my name, "Stephanie," so I opened my eyes in response.

He gazed into my eyes before speaking again, "I love you, Angel."

I finished his thought, "Today and always," before lifting my head slightly to kiss him again. When our mouths met, his hips pulled back slowly, stopping only when he was about to leave me, and then pushed forward again, setting a rhythm my hips instantly danced to as well.

His hands moved to touch as much of me as they could, focusing on my breasts before his mouth moved down to capture a nipple leaving my mouth open to gasp and moan. Finally the frenzy of pleasure and his touch became too much and I knew I was about to come. Fortunately, Cal could tell the difference in the way my body reacted to his and he slammed into me twice more before sending me over the edge and falling right along with me calling my name as his muscles stiffened and his strokes slowly stopped.

He allowed most of his weight to fall upon me briefly and I reveled in the feel of him on me. As my mind began to clear and the stars behind my eyes faded away, I began to run my hands up and down his back. Our breaths began to slow and nearly synced together as we relaxed. He rolled off of me causing me to issue a sound of complaint, but no distinguishable words. In response, he pulled me to his side and tucked me as closely as possible to him.

My right hand rested on his heart and I shut my eyes feeling its steady rhythm.

After a few moments of silence Cal asked one final time, "Better?"

I tried not to laugh as I said, "Yes," and then added, "at least for now."

Cal pulled me completely on top of him as he let out a laugh. "No worries, Angel. I'm no where near being done." And with that warning, he claimed my lips with his and spent the next two hours leisurely proving the truth of his words.

I was completely spent. I smiled at the idea of walking as I wasn't entirely sure I could still feel my legs. Cal asked what I was thinking and I replied with the single word, "Better."

That got me a full fledged laugh and a kiss in my hair. "I missed you," He said as he calmed down.

"I can believe that," I replied thinking how he had proved that statement to me repeatedly.

"The guys weren't too pleased with my push to start the op as soon as we arrived, but it enabled me to return a day sooner and once they saw the element of surprise would help, they were all for it." He told me. I wanted as many details as possible, but knew he couldn't tell me everything they had done as I didn't have his security clearance.

"Did your op include Ranger, or was his return a coincidence?" I asked unable to stop my curiosity completely.

"We were there to get the guy he'd been associating with over the last few months. Ranger knew the feds wanted him and this was his first time entering the US. Because we were able to get him from his boat in the harbor at night while his guards were asleep, we were able to arrest the bad guy, pretend to apprehend Ranger, who was completely shocked to see us early and kept his cover in tact. Now if he needs to return to that family in South America he can do so without having to reestablish who he is." Cal answered giving me more detail than I'd ever received from Ranger about one of his ops.

"Can I ask you something?" Cal said breaking the silence that had settled between us again.

I turned a little and rested my chin on Cal's bare chest, nodding that he could.

"What's the deal between you and Ranger?" He asked shocking me as I hadn't expected that question now.

I blinked a few times trying to formulate an answer quickly. "Ranger was the first person to believe in me and think I had a right to follow my dreams without pushing his opinion on me of what that should be. He taught me, protected me, and helped me for a few years."

"I know that most of us assumed you guys were a couple because of how he instructed us to watch out for you, and by his actions it seemed like he had claimed you as his, but in other ways we didn't see the relationship grow like we expected it to." He helped me move to the complicated part.

"If you're wondering why we were never a couple, I can't really answer that. There was always an attraction, and he let me in more than most women, or at least I think he did, but in other ways he always kept me at arms length. He seemed to open up the most when Joe and I were together, but when we were on one of our off periods he pushed me away. It's like I was only safe to be around if I was technically forbidden, but if I was available, it wasn't safe."

"So you were never really together?" He asked in disbelief.

"No, never." I assured him.

"What about now?" He asked.

"Now, we never will be together. Before he left I had already grown tired of the push and pull between us. I will always love him for seeing the potential in me and encouraging and equipping me, but any romantic notions that I once considered are long gone." I answered honestly.

"I'm not sure Ranger sees it the same way." Cal warned me.

"If Ranger sees it differently, then he will need to live with the regret of never speaking to me about it when he had a chance to. He couldn't possibly have expected me to wait indefinitely." I asserted. "Why do you say that?" I wondered.

"On the plane ride back Ranger and Tank were catching up on RangeMan accounts. When Ranger asked about you Tank gave him only the briefest of reports that you were working in the office full time and that you'd been through a lot but you were holding your own. Ranger then started talking about how his contract was coming down to the last year and when it was over he was hoping to show you how you and the cop would never make it permanently. Tank tried to hint that you understood that already, but Ranger wasn't really giving him a chance to talk about it. I know Tank wanted to warn him about Joe and maybe even about us, but Ranger wasn't giving him much of a chance to get a word in." Cal explained giving me a mental picture I couldn't reconcile of Ranger and Tank stumbling over each other to talk. I'd never found either of them to be that talkative.

"Anyway, I'm assuming by now he knows about Joe and why you'll never be with him again, but I don't know if anyone has explained our exit yet." He continued. "I told myself on the ride to Haywood I would be the gentleman and step back if that was what you wanted. I want you to be happy, and if Ranger is what you need for that to happen, then I want you to have a chance to make that work."

My mind knew he was trying to show me how much he cared by risking losing me to give me a chance with Ranger, but my heart felt like it was being torn from my chest. I sat up reaching for the sheet, but it had long ago fallen off the end of the bed and had to pull my knees up in front of me to prevent the feeling of being completely exposed.

"You don't want me? You're sending me to Ranger?" I asked in disbelief.

Cal instantly shot up pulling me roughly to him. "No, Stephanie. Of course I want you. I said on the ride over I told myself I would be the gentleman and step back if that is what you wanted, but once I saw you racing to my arms upstairs I couldn't do it. From the moment our lips met I couldn't think straight to tell you that Ranger may want you and give you a chance to choose. I wanted to give you the room you needed, but when it came time to do it, I physically couldn't step back." He confessed continuing to hold me tightly against his chest.

His words broke the fear my misunderstanding had caused and I relaxed against him. "You know that I love you, that I want you and need you with me, don't you?"

I managed to loosen his grip enough to look him in the eye and answer, "I know that you feel the same way about me that I do about you. I can't live without you and you can try to step away to give me room if you want to, but you'll find me following you every step of the way."

As if to reassure himself of my truth he kissed me gently, reverently on the lips allowing each contact to linger and grow in sweetness.

My phone began to ring from the floor and by the ringtone I knew it was Eddie. I closed my eyes trying to escape the reality that he might be calling about, but Cal retrieved my pants and held them up for me.

I put the phone on speaker and answered to Eddie's voice, "Steph, it's Eddie. Listen, Mrs. Morelli wanted me to call you to let you know Joe is awake. The doctors have down graded him from critical to serious condition and are encouraged at his progress."

"That's good to know," I said not sure how I really felt about the idea of Joe getting better and the trial beginning again.

"That's not all. He's begging his mother to let him see you. He says there is something he has to tell you first and then he will accept the deal the DA offered that included rehab, jail time, and a move out of state for his probation. Mrs. Morelli said if you decided to come, she would stay in the room with you and to reassure you he is too weak for this to be a trick." He finished conveying his message.

"I don't know Eddie," I said slowly while looking at Cal for any indication of what he thought I should do. "What do you think I should do?"

"It's up to you Steph, but he seems different since he woke up. He's not as angry as he has been the last few months. Of course, it may be the cocktail of drugs they have him on, but if you want to check it out we will go in with you if it would help." He encouraged.

Cal put his hand on the back of my neck rubbing my scar in a way unique to him. I closed my eyes and said, "Tell Mrs. Morelli I'll come to the hospital in the morning. If she is willing to be there, I'll see her outside his room about 9:00."

"I'll let her know. Bye Steph," Eddie said before disconnecting the call.

I tossed the phone on the nightstand and leaned back into Cal. He held me for a few minutes before pushing me back up and asking, "How about we get out of here for some dinner?"

I was sort of hungry and a quick glance at the clock showed why. We'd completely missed lunch and after all the exercise we'd gotten it was a wonder neither of us had passed out.

"Where?" I asked hoping my appetite would return with the promise of a good meal.

"How about Gamma's? I know she'd love to see you, and she said something to me about having a roast in the oven when I called to let her know we were back." He offered.

I liked the idea of going somewhere homey and familiar. After connecting physically with Cal I wasn't sure I could pull off the degree of separation we usually kept around RangeMan. It seemed the more he gave me the more I wanted, so I was afraid I would practically climb in his lap in front of the guys. And if Ranger was just learning about us after entertaining a fantasy that he and I could one day be together then I should probably try to limit the blatant public displays like what happened earlier on five.

"That sounds perfect," I finally answered after all my mental wonderings.

Cal picked up his phone and waited before saying, "Hey Gamma, we'll be there at 6:30. Yea, she wants to see you too. Bye."

"Shower?" He asked trying to be helpful. I honestly just wanted to lay back and savor the sensation of how my body could still remember the feel of him on me, but knew if we were going to make dinner on time I needed to get up. Reluctantly I moved toward the bathroom. Cal followed me in, turning on the shower and adjusting the temperature before guiding me and climbing in behind me. I looked at him questioning what he was doing when he answered me. "Until I can adjust to this I think I'm going to have a hard time being away from you, even for a few moments. I don't think I would have stayed on the bed if I'd allowed myself to think about you in here naked and wet." His bedroom voice was quickly returning causing me to wonder if Gamma would yell at us for ruining the roast if we were late.

"She'll take one look at the two of us and know exactly what we were doing. It may be twisted, but it'll make her happy to know we're finally together." He answered pressing my back against the cold tile and holding me in place with his strong body.

The water was quite cool by the time Cal shut it off, but I had hardly noticed the hot water giving out. I presume if you make enough heat you tend to ignore the minor details like that around you.

I looked at the bag on the floor that held the clothes I'd packed in a hurry the morning Cal left and realized, there was nothing there I wanted to wear out. Cal put a t-shirt over my head and told me to go to my place and get ready. He'd let himself in when he was dressed and we could leave whenever I was pulled together.

I gave him a quick kiss of appreciation before letting myself out. I went through my closet quickly looking for something that could cover up the new marks Cal had left on his favorite parts of my body and realized even though it was the end of summer I would need to be pretty conservatively dressed to hide our afternoon activities. Finally I put on a pair of tan Dockers and tucked in a blue button up shirt with a collar to cover up part of my neck. I put some curls in my hair just to control the wild spots and touched up my make-up when I heard my door open and Cal announce his presence.

I came out of the bathroom to see him sitting on the edge of my bed. I decided to tease him. "I could have been dressed quicker, but somebody left these marks all over my body and I had to search to find the right outfit to cover them up."

He took a deep breath as he stood up and replied, "It's a shame you covered them up. I was hoping a few of them would show on our way to the garage to answer the unasked questions by the guys about what is going on between us."

"If my attack when you returned today didn't answer their questions, then seeing a hickey or two won't do it either." I told him.

He took my hand and we went down to the garage. Cal was unlocking the door on his truck when I heard his name being called. I tensed up because I recognized that voice.

Cal looked up as Ranger approached us, but his grip on my hand tightened.

Ranger began, "I need to talk to Stephanie alone for a minute."

I leaned against Cal to reply, "We were just heading out. Can this wait until tomorrow?"

"Babe," He said as thought that were explanation enough.

Cal put his hand on my shoulder and rubbed it gently before saying quietly, "I'll be in the truck. Go ahead and talk to him."

I followed Ranger over to the edge of the garage and leaned against a pillar between two parking spaces.

"Babe," Ranger began, reaching out to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear which only caused my neck to reveal the evidence of the last few hours. His jaw tightened marginally, but he didn't comment on it.

"Tank has briefed me on what has happened with Morelli over the last few months. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I never saw the potential for him to fall into violence with you." Ranger confessed.

"None of us did. It's okay," I told him knowing he was probably blaming himself in some way for not keeping me safe in his absence.

"I also understand based upon the comments of the guys after your retreat from the office that you and Cal have grown close." He said cryptically.

I decided to clarify, "Cal was there for me when I was at my lowest and he supported me when I was lost to help me find my way back. While I was struggling, he opened up to me and shared his life, his past and his present, and even though I wasn't expecting it, I fell in love with him."

Ranger stood there silently for a moment after my explanation. "Do you think he loves you too?"

I realized this was hard for Ranger. He had always threatened the guys if one of them hurt me, but he had no rules about this. Cal was following his order to take care of me, and in the process we developed feeling for each other that Ranger would never allow himself to admit to, even if they were true for him. He couldn't fire Cal or even call him to the mats. If he was upset about what I told him, he had no one to blame but himself.

I wanted to soften the blow I knew I was about to deliver, but I also felt the need to be clear. "He says he does, and his actions tell me he's being honest with me. I've never had to guess with him, he's been clear about his emotions from the beginning."

Ranger looked away and narrowed his eyes as though he were focusing on something in the distance.

"Then I wish you every happiness," He finally said returning his gaze to me.

I reached out and touched his arm and Ranger's eyes immediately fell to the contact there. "Thank you Ranger. If it weren't for the support you gave me, I never would have had the strength to leave Joe and I might not even be here now. You were the first one to believe in me and I want you to know that isn't something I can forget or take lightly. I may be in love with Cal, but the place you have in my heart will never be replaced."

I turned to walk away after waiting for a response that didn't seem to be coming. When I was nearly at the door of Cal's truck Ranger called to me.

"Babe," He said before waiting for me to turn around. "If he ever hurts you…" The rest of the sentence went unsaid.

I smiled; this was a side of Ranger I knew how to handle. "You'll be the first one to know, and then you can coordinate the schedule of the line of guys who want to help teach that lesson."

"Babe." He said shaking his head and walking away.

I climbed in the cab and Cal put the truck in reverse to begin the trip to Gamma's. It felt strange to go without an escort of some sort, but with Joe completely locked up at the hospital, there was no danger to protect me from anymore.

"Is he okay?" Cal asked nervously.

"He will be," I assured him. "But you need to be prepared that if I somehow get hurt there might be a line of people waiting to remind you how that's not allowed. Apparently Ranger would be leading the charge."

"I can support that," Cal admitted with a smile.

Things might not be settled yet, but I knew they would be and with that thought I smiled as Cal took my hand and placed it on his thigh.

"Better," I admitted as Cal stopped at the red light leading out of town.

"Oh yea," Cal agreed. Then a wicked gleam entered his eye before he added, "At least for now."

Oh boy!


	17. Enjoying the Beach

_JE gets the credit; I get to have the fun._

_Jenn (perfectmanhattan) has provided the Beta and encouragement work for this story. Thanks!_

**Chapter 17 – Enjoying the Beach**

"I can't do this," I stated with my hand over my chest willing my heart rate to slow down.

"Yes you can Angel, I'll be right there beside you," He promised.

I'd been pacing outside the entrance at St. Francis hospital, afraid to go in, despite all the promises I'd received that Joe wasn't in any condition to be a threat to me. Eddie came out and saw me standing there so he walked up and asked if I was ready.

I looked at Cal and even though every fiber of my being was screaming "No," I nodded my head and followed him in to where Angie Morelli was waiting. She stood as I approached and met me half way to envelope me in a hug.

"Thank you for coming. I know this will mean a lot to Joe," She told me softly, twisting the tissue in her hand.

"Mrs. Morelli, this is Cal," I said moving so that she could see him fully. Her eyes got big as she took in the sight of him including the bottom half of his tattoo not covered by his hair.

Of course her Burg manners kicked in and she nodded with a comment about it being nice to meet him. I explained this was the person Joe shot outside the courtroom and her face softened slightly.

She led us in Joe's room which was alive with the sounds of various monitors tracking his heart and oxygen levels. "Joey," Mrs. Morelli said to wake him up. Joe stirred slightly so she pressed on, "Stephanie is here, along with Cal from RangeMan."

Joe's eyes opened and despite his having just woken up, he still looked exhausted. I assumed fighting for his life had really taken it out of him.

Joe lifted his hand slightly before saying, "Cupcake, ah…Stephanie, I'm so glad you came." He pointed to a chair beside his bed where I assumed he intended for me to sit down. I moved closer to him, but I did not take the offered seat.

He nodded, I guess accepting that I didn't want to stay that long. "I've been told that you want to tell me something." I prompted him.

Joe nodded. "I needed to tell you I'm sorry. I knew I was drinking too much and there were long periods of each day that I couldn't remember, but I refused to admit that I'd turned into my father. When the guys told me what I did…what I said to you at the courthouse I couldn't believe it. But Eddie talked to me, and my mom too. They gave me examples of how I've hurt a lot of people, mostly you and I needed to tell you I'm sorry."

"Joe," I began, "I appreciate you apologizing I know how hard it is to hear some of the things you've done, but you aren't saying this in the hope that I'll somehow take you back are you?"

"No," He croaked out. I found I had pity for him for the first time in months so I picked up the cup on his bedside table and lifted the straw in it to his lips for a drink. He said nothing when I sat it down but the look on his face when I turned back to him spoke of his gratitude.

"Steph, I don't even expect you to forgive me. I just felt like I needed to tell you myself that I realize what I've done and I'm not sure how to stop on my own. The DA came by yesterday evening and we talked about pleas. If I'll agree to a guilty plea he will reduce the charge so that I'll end up doing rehab in a three month locked residential facility, then I'll go straight to probation, but that sentence will be served in Philadelphia. I'll leave town so that you don't have to worry about me hurting you ever again. A condition of my probation is that anytime I reenter New Jersey I have to notify RangeMan Security so that they can provide you what ever protection you feel you need. I'll also have to wear a tracking device at all times. After the two years of probation is over I'll see if it makes sense for me to just stay in Philadelphia since I'm hoping I'll have a life established by then." He explained while looking down at his hands.

"What about work?" I asked. "Can you still be a cop if you're on probation?"

"The chief here said if I finish the rehab program to everyone's satisfaction he will help me get a job, but he hasn't said where. I know he used to live there so I'm hoping he still has a lot of contacts in the city." He explained.

"I'm assuming you're going to agree to this deal," I prompted him when he stopped speaking for a while.

"I want to, but I wanted to check with you first. I would understand if you wanted me to go to jail for what I did to you and for what I almost did at the courthouse. If you want to go through with the trial, then I won't fight you on it," Joe said putting his fate squarely in my hands.

I sat down in the chair, my knees feeling the weight of this decision. "If you are really ready to enter rehab and try to stay sober, then I think this is the best thing for you. I didn't want to end your life, either by shooting you or by sending you to prison. But, if you ever try to hurt me or anyone I love again, I'll come after you with all I have." I warned him.

He smiled weakly. "I wouldn't have it any other way. One day, I hope I can contact you again just so you know I'm dry and I've gotten my life together."

I thought about it first before answering. "Joe, you'll always have a piece of my heart for what we shared when we were younger, but I don't know if there is a place in my life for you in the future. These last few months have destroyed my trust in you. If you want me to know how you're doing, feel free to pass along messages through your mom, or Eddie, but it will take a while before I could see you out in the open." I confessed, sorry to have obviously hurt Joe with my words, but proud of myself for standing up for what I wanted at the same time.

I could tell Joe was tiring so I stood up to leave. "Good bye Joe," I said. "I hope you stick to the program and enjoy Philadelphia."

Cal put his hand on my lower back causing Joe to say his name. I stiffened, but Cal just turned his head to see what Joe wanted. "Take care of her. If you ever lose her you'll live with the regret of everything you did wrong for the rest of your life. And don't hurt her. I may be leaving town, but I know a lot of people I could call to track you down." He threatened.

"They'd have to wait in line man," Cal told him. "But, I hear you. I have no intention of ever letting her go."

With that we walked out of his hospital room. As soon as the door closed behind us I turned around and let Cal pull me to his arms for a hug. I don't know why the visit was as upsetting as it was, but I needed someone to tell me it was okay.

Understanding this, Cal whispered reassurances to me, "It's alright, Angel. You did great in there and I think you handled it beautifully. I'm so proud of you."

When I felt I had myself together enough to leave St. Francis I took a step back and grabbed Cal's hand. We made it to the first turn in the hall when we ran into my mother and Grandma Mazur.

"Mom!" I said as she startled me.

My mother merely said my name in return. Grandma Mazur didn't mind speaking though. "Angie Morelli called us last night. It seems Joe has something to say to your mother. Angie also told us that you are the gentlest lady she's met in a long time. She apologized for all Joe put you through and said anybody else would have drug Joe through the mud after the stunt he pulled at the courthouse that day, but that you were being really gracious about the whole thing."

"What does Joe want to say to you?" I asked them.

"How should I know Stephanie, maybe he wants to tell me he is mortified at how you were going to take him to trial and drag his name through the mud."

My hand tightened on Cal's and she barreled on. "Maybe he wants to tell me that he tried his best to be a good boyfriend to you but you refused to settle down and it eventually drove him to drink and he wants to warn me that I should never expect you to marry as he doesn't know of anyone that would have you now."

I took a small step backward as my knee began to buckle. I was trying very hard not to fall apart in the hallway of the hospital.

"Or maybe, he wants to thank me for supporting him when you refused to acknowledge all he has done for you over the years." She finally finished.

There was a ringing in my ears and I felt as though drawing a full breath was impossible.

It was then than Cal dropped my hand and moved behind me to put both his arms around me. I don't know if he did this because he was afraid I was going to fall over, or because he was trying to show his support for me. But once his hands met at my stomach, his mouth opened with a hard tone to his voice.

"Mrs. Plum, I'm sorry you feel the need to criticize Stephanie. I'm sorry that you refuse to see her for who she truly is. I'm especially sorry that you opened your mouth and let all that trash out, because when you come out of Joe's room you will know then that you were wrong. But mostly, I'm sorry that you have never taken the time to love your daughter for the wonderful woman she is, because it means you have missed the chance to meet one of God's angels walking among us. One day you will want to have a relationship with your daughter, and she will probably accept you with open arms because her heart is just that big, but I'll never forget the way you just ran her down and I'll be watching to be sure you never forget it either."

My mother turned and left without saying another word leaving us with Grandma Mazur who came up to me and patted my cheek like she used to when I was a little girl. "I know you granddaughter, and I'm proud to call you my own. Helen will figure it out one day."

Then she straightened up a little and addressed Cal, "Thank you young man for telling Helen what I've been trying to say for weeks now. You hang on to her. From the looks of things you realize what you're holding."

As she turned to walk away she turned back and smiled. "From the view back here, I can appreciate what she sees in you."

Cal shifted slightly to get his rear end away from Grandma's reach which made me smile. I could always count on her to say just what I needed to hear.

We left the hospital and drove back to Haywood in silence. Cal kept my hand on his thigh and gently rubbed it with his thumb as he drove.

When we got back to the office he cut the engine and turned to look at me, brushing my hair back to see my face. "How are you holding up?"

I left out a slow breath, "I'm doing okay. That was harder than I thought, but I think I believe what Joe said. He seemed sincere and softer than I've seen him in months. I hope he sticks to it."

Cal continued to stare at me letting me know he heard what I said, but that he wasn't really asking about Joe. I shut my eyes and answered his question. "I don't know why my mother took Joe's side over mine, but I really appreciate you standing up for me. It hurts, but I just have to accept the fact that she doesn't know me, and it doesn't seem like she ever will."

Cal pulled me across the console to sit in his lap. I felt like a young child cradled in his protective arms. There was a piece of me that wanted to object, but the larger part just sat there enjoying the feel of being supported by him.

After giving me a few minutes to recharge he asked, "Do you feel like doing something today?"

"Yea, but I figured I would have to work. Especially now that the boss is back," I told him with a smile.

He rubbed up and down my back with his left hand as he spoke, "I have it on good authority that the boss would be totally okay with you taking the day off. In fact, most of the guys will be spending the day at Point Pleasant. There are only a few great days of summer left, and I'd love to see my girlfriend in a bathing suit before the season is over.

The idea of going to the beach was a tempting one. "I can't wear a bathing suit," I finally exclaimed. "Someone put a few marks on me yesterday that I can't cover up in a bikini."

He laughed at my excuse. "Trust me, Steph, if you wear a bikini, no one will even notice the occasional hickey."

It took us fifteen minutes to change clothes and grab a bag for the beach. I realized I had missed most of summer hiding in the office or my apartment. Now that Morelli was going to leave New Jersey, it seemed there was no reason to stay on four anymore.

I don't think I said anything aloud which made me wonder if Cal's ESP kicked in as we parked at the beach access near a RangeMan safe house. "Don't worry, Angel. I agree it's time for you to give up your apartment on four, but I don't see you going back to your old apartment either."

"Just where do you suggest I live?" I asked at a loss.

"I suggest you live where you've been staying and move in with me permanently." He said carefully watching me for a reaction.

"I don't know Cal. I mean our whole relationship has been built during a stressful time. What if you get tired of having me around, or if you think that I'm pretty dull once the threat of danger is gone? You might wish you had your privacy back and begin to resent me for taking up all your space." I rambled in a mild panic.

He hushed my negative thoughts with a kiss and pulled back to tell me, "None of that is going to happen, but if you want to take it slowly, that's fine by me. But, just so you know where I stand, I'd love nothing more than to think of you coming back home with me tonight and staying there with me for the rest of our lives.

I wanted to believe him but past experiences made me a little nervous about it. "Just think about it, the offer is there no matter when you'd like to officially accept it. In the meantime, I hope it's alright if I want to be able to sleep with you no matter whose apartment it's in at least for tonight."

I kissed him and said, "Yes, you can definitely sleep with me tonight."

"How about tomorrow?" He pressed.

"That may be pushing it, let's take it one day at the time for now." I replied with a big smile. I knew he could see right through me and understood that I wanted nothing more to cuddle up next to him every night.

We walked down to the sand, hand in hand and heard the guys before we ever saw them. They had stretched a volleyball net up and were playing four on four in a very competitive match.

Seeing us walk up and throw down our stuff some of the guys near the water came up to invite me to swim with them. I looked at Cal, and knew that being a Seal he was as comfortable in the ocean as he was on the sand so I said I'd be right there.

I pulled off my t-shirt and shimmied out of my cut-off jean shorts, getting me a few whistles from the volleyball court. I flipped them off without turning around to see who had paid the compliment.

It wasn't until I began to walk to the water beside Cal that it hit me. I'd picked out my bathing suit according to what I thought he would enjoy seeing. I was wearing a black two piece. The problem was that the sides were merely strings tied together meaning everyone who bothered to look would have a view of the flaming skull I got for Cal.

I stopped walking and Cal turned to see what was wrong. "I have to put on a t-shirt."

"Why, you're about to get in the water?" He asked confused.

"But they'll see the tat I got for you, and I'm not sure I'm ready to share it yet." I told him.

"I'll tell you what, come on down now and see if you get a reaction at all. I'm proud of it and would love for them to see what you've done. If you're uncomfortable after we stop swimming you can grab a cover-up of some sort." He suggested.

I went to the edge of the water and stood there letting the waves crash over my feet and ankles adjusting to the cool feel of it on my skin.

Bobby and Lester walked over first to say hello and ask me to come in with them. Les whistled and said, "Beautiful, you are truly living up to your name in that swimsuit. All those mornings in the gym agree with you."

Bobby smacked Les on the back of his head while he was finishing his compliment and then turned to look at me himself. Apparently, Les hadn't shared where he took me the night after Shorty's because when Bobby got to the skull tattoo his eyes went between my hip and Cal's head a couple of times before he turned to walk away stumbling over Les who was standing still and tripping enough to fall into the surf.

Cal erupted in laughter hard enough there were tears running down his cheek. Les had his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath when Vince walked over to give Bobby a hand up. "What happened?"

I decided to help out and told him, "Let's just say he noticed I had a little new ink and it's a good thing there were no treadmills around." With that comment Les and Cal started up laughing anew. I realized I was okay with them seeing the tattoo. I was proud of how I felt for Cal and it seemed the guys only starred out of appreciation, not in criticism.

"You okay to swim now?" I asked Cal as he was wiping his eyes with the back of his wrist.

He took off running and dove in when the water got above his waist. I followed as best I could. I had a natural love for the ocean, but I didn't have the experience Cal did in battling the current. I felt something come up between my legs and only screamed for a second until Cal surfaced with a school boy grin on his face. I hooked my arms around his neck and told him he could tread water for us both after that little stunt.

Cal took my threat in stride and agreed to do it if I would let him untie my bikini bottoms.

"Aren't you worried someone will join us and see that I have on only half a suit?"

He smiled first and then answered, "I doubt they'll join us out here, and even if they do, they'd never see a thing."

I pretended to be offended at his suggestion for a brief moment longer while I used my left hand to undo the ties on each side. When I pulled the bottom half of my bikini out of the water and showed it to him, his eyes darkened to match the water and he said, "Good Lord, Steph," before pulling me hard against him so that I could feel his appreciation for my display.

I hung onto him and felt him move us only slightly closer to shore so that my toes could reach the sand every so often. It was then that I felt him tug at his own suit so that the hardening mass that had been pressing against my stomach was now free to find its preferred location.

"We can't do this here!" I practically screamed at him.

"No?" He asked while sliding between my legs and moving so that his erection was stroking my clit with every thrust.

"Well, we can't do it loudly," I conceded to his soft laughter. "What brought this on?"

"This is the first time I've seen you in a swimsuit and I have to say, I love it. Plus you have been a strong woman all day, standing up for yourself and handling one stressful situation after another. I have always found a strong woman to be a real turn on. Top that off with your new tat and I can't help myself." He confessed.

I lifted up slightly so that he was poised to move inside me on his next thrust. "Are you sure?" He asked always giving me the option of telling him no.

"I'm sure if you don't get in me soon, I'll self-combust." I told him before pushing myself against him.

He slipped in easily and I gasped at the feel. I was concerned after our marathon yesterday I would be sore today, but feeling him in me now I wanted more, and I wanted it now.

"Then, it would be my pleasure to give it to you," Cal whispered beginning to move in and out as I wrapped my legs around his waist to give him deeper access. I probably should have been embarrassed about saying that last bit out loud but feeling him move inside me now, I could barely remember my name, much less what I had just said.

I felt Cal's chest shake slightly and heard him say, "It's alright to forget your own name, as long as you never forget mine."

"Not a chance," I assured him, beginning to feel my orgasm build. He gripped my thighs to guide me to him thrust for thrust, and just before I came he kissed me swallowing the scream that was about to be released for the whole beach to hear and growling deep in his throat indicating his own release.

He moved slowly for a few moments continuing to hold me to him. "Thank you for keeping me from cluing in the guys about what we're doing."

"As much as I want them to understand you and I are together now, there are some things that I think should stay between us. I would never intentionally embarrass you in front of the guys. It may be adventurous to have sex in the ocean or in other places, but it is still just between us." He assured me showing his true character once again. He was a man of great passion, and equal depths of integrity.

I slipped off his waist and said, "Now how am I supposed to get these back on?"

He took my bottoms from my hand with a mischievous smile and asked, "May I?"

"Be my guest," I challenged wondering how he was going to tie them on without seeing what he was doing. At that moment he sank beneath the water and I felt his hands on my legs. He put the suit in place and tied each side perfectly. When he finally came back up for air I was at a loss for words.

"How did you do that? How could you stay under there long enough to tie both sides just right?" I asked.

He grinned, "I have excellent breath control. I can go for several minutes under water without needing air. It's a skill that may come in handy in your future." He teased.

"I'm sure it will," I thought already allowing the wheels to turn planning occasions when having his mouth occupied for long stretches without him having the freedom to breathe would be helpful.

"Oh, no, I just put your bottom back on and I'm not taking it off again," He teased grabbing my hand and pulling me back to the breakers before we stood up to walk back to shore.

I sat on the edge and watched the game for a while. If I were completely honest I would say I sat in the sand and watched eight sweaty guys smack a little white ball around while I drooled over their sculpted muscles and toned bodies. It wasn't until Tank sat next to me that I snapped from my hormone induced haze.

"I had a little talk with the boss man today," He began.

"You did?" I asked. "That's a coincidence because I did too. I don't think he was very happy with our little talk," I admitted.

"No, not down deep," Tank agreed. "But he'll get over that. He's mainly kicking his own ass for not stepping up with you sooner. He took you for granted and now he's paying the price."

"What do I do, Tank? I don't want to upset Ranger. He was the first person to believe in me." I confessed.

"Just keep doing what you're doing, he'll come around. He knows Cal is a good man and he can see the effect that man has had on you. When he heard about Morelli's drinking and he saw the file with the pictures from your apartment and you in the hospital, he damn near flipped out. But, when I told him how Cal had stood by you when you wouldn't leave your apartment and how he gently helped you come back to us, Ranger admitted it was a good match. Cal is an open guy. Once he lets you in, you're there for life. He's as faithful as the day is long, and he is strong enough and scary as hell to the crazies out there that might think about causing you trouble."

"Well when you put it like that, we do sound good together," I laughed at his ad presentation of our relationship.

"Anyway, you know how Ranger is about sharing and I thought you might appreciate knowing it will be alright. At heart he is happy knowing you're happy so just keep doing what you're doing." He added as he stood up to join the rest of the guys.

Cal sat down in the crater Tank left in the sand. He looked at me and over at Tank before glancing back my way. It was like watching a puppy ask to go outside. He was clearly communicating what he wanted but his mouth had no words.

I grinned and told him what Tank had said about his conversation with Ranger. Cal nodded and seemed to have no trouble accepting what had been said. I on the other hand was still in shock that Tank said that much at one time without me having to pull the words out of him.

We watched the water for a few moments in silence before Cal bumped my shoulder with his arm. "Well, if Tank says we should just keep doing what we've been doing, then I think we should head back."

"And why is that?" I questioned feigning ignorance.

"Because what we were doing in the water seems like a pretty good idea to me right now, and I think after seeing you in that bikini all afternoon, I might just have enough self-control to make it back to Haywood, but not another moment more." He replied.

"Then let's go. Besides I believe you were bragging earlier about your amazing breath control. I think it's time you backed up your words with your actions." I challenged him as he picked up our bag and began walking us to the car.

"It would be my pleasure to show you, Angel." He said in his sexy voice while I slid into the cab of the truck.

He shut the door and ran around to the driver's side wearing only his swim trunks and flip flops. I thought to myself, 'No Cal, I'm sure the pleasure will be all mine.'

He looked at my face and winked. "You're right about that, Steph."

_A/N: We only have the epilogue left. I thought I should warn you that we are just about done with Cal and Steph's story._


	18. Epilogue  One Year Down the Road

_The characters here belong to JE. But I have certainly had a lot of fun pretending they were my own._

_Jenn (perfectmanhattan), I can't believe we've come to the end of this journey. Thank you for your gentle suggestions and encouragement as the Beta for each chapter. I can't wait to start another story with your help._

**Chapter 18 – Epilogue – A Year Down the Road**

"Bobby!" I yelled out from my seat in front of the monitors. I had already buzzed him at his desk and I knew he was coming, but I was getting impatient. Cal and his team had pulled in the garage two minutes ago and I needed to be able to get up from my seat watching the cameras at RangeMan accounts to greet him.

Bobby walked in ten seconds later with a huge smile on his face. "Alright, Bomber, I'm here. Go get him. Just remember, I've got dibs that you will actually knock him over this time, so you need to catch him off guard in order to take him down."

"Smartass!" I yelled as I jumped up and ran down the stairs to get to Cal while he was still in the garage. A month ago he was called to help Ranger with a mission in Miami. There were some drug lords who were smuggling cocaine in on their personal yachts and since the DEA and Coast Guard had been unsuccessful in gathering evidence, Ranger needed his own team of Seals to provide some water level surveillance.

We had talked every other day, but after four weeks of going to sleep in our bed alone I was getting anxious to have him back. He had gone away a half dozen times over the last year and it seemed the guys got a big kick out of watching our reunion. Apparently the longer he was gone, the further out I got airborne when throwing myself at him. The guys were convinced that after a month I would hit him hard enough to take him down and had started betting on it. I wasn't amused, but at the same time the thought of wrapping my legs around him had me so excited it was hard to take the stairs one at the time.

I hit the door at the ground level and didn't even pause to get my bearings. I saw him immediately and noticed he dropped his bag and flashed a huge smile my way. When he opened his arms I jumped and as was his habit, he braced himself well enough to absorb the impact of me hitting his chest. No time was lost as our lips met to greet each other with a kiss that spoke of lost time that needed to be made up immediately.

I heard the groans and comments in the background, but I easily ignored them. I was too focused on the warm body that I had attached myself too. I knew his hands were supporting my backside, but it was unnecessary. I was attached to him and wouldn't let go until he got us upstairs to our apartment. Even then the only time distance would come between us today would be when we had to pull apart to take off our clothes. I had been waiting on this day for a month now and I had no intention of letting the guys interrupt my fantasy come true.

By the time we got to the apartment, I'd managed to get his shirttail untucked so I could touch the bare skin on his back. I loved the feel of it against my fingers and couldn't wait any longer. When he got us to the door of the apartment I bit down where his neck met his shoulder and heard him growl just before pressing my back into the door itself in order to pour more passion into his assault on my neck. He had a way of kissing his way up my scar that could nearly make me come unglued.

I heard Vince speaking to someone in the hall, "Fifty bucks says they do it right here. He can't even get her in the apartment this time." I heard the sound of someone hitting him for his comment which saved me the trouble of taking my hands out of Cal's shirt to give him a hand gesture showing how I felt about their standing there watching our reunion.

Apparently their words inspired Cal as he magically got the door open and kicked it shut with a resounding thud the second we went through it. I slid down from my perch on his hips and began to work on his utility belt while he pulled his shirt over his head. He took the belt from my hands and gently placed it on the floor while toeing off his boots. I unbuttoned his pants and got frustrated when the zipper wouldn't cooperate and go down. Luckily, Cal took pity on me and not only pulled down his zipper but went ahead and removed his pants as well.

He then picked me up and carried me to the bedroom where he lightly tossed me onto the mattress. I had long ago learned that Cal liked the job of undressing me, so other than my getting my boots off, I was still fully dressed. I had on a button up denim shirt with the RangeMan logo embroidered on the chest. Cal noticed that and said, "I'll have to have a talk with Ella to get this replaced."

I was about to ask why she needed to replace the shirt, but Cal answered my question by grabbing both sides of the top and yanking causing buttons to fly. The grin on his face told me he had a new method of undressing me and I had a feeling I would need to find some more button up shirts for Cal to "assist" me out of. Multitasking Cal got my bra unclasped and my pants undone at the same time. I lifted my hips but allowed him to slowly pull my cargos off himself.

I could tell his eyes were searching me over looking for any changes since he saw me the last time. His search was not in vain as he found the scar on my leg where a skip got the best of me with a knife two weeks ago. Bobby had removed the stitches over the weekend, but it was still drawn and pink. His eyes met mine briefly and I simply said, "Skip."

"Jail?" He asked trying to find out if we got the guy.

"Five minutes after his knife came out," I answered.

"One piece?" He asked, causing me to smile at his way of asking if we hurt the skip any because of the damage that had been done to me.

"Technically, but they did have to use some plaster for that to be completely true." I admitted, letting him know Tank had "accidently" tripped the skip down the stairs of the three floors in the apartment building leaving him with a broken femur and a sprained wrist on top of the bruises and scrapes that he picked up on the way down. The Merry Men really didn't like it when skips turned on me and I had stopped trying to keep them calm. They seemed to need the release of making someone pay when I got hurt and it just made my life easier to let them have their fun.

"Sorry I missed that," He commented, satisfied with my answer enough to return to his examination.

I was struggling to lie still as Cal softly trailed his fingers over my oversensitive skin to finish checking me for new scars or other additions. Ever since I surprised him with the skull tat on my inner hip he had taken great pleasure in checking for any new surprises. I smiled to myself knowing he had a little something to reward his efforts today.

My panties joined the rest of my clothes on the floor that were torn or otherwise ruined for Cal's impatience to have me exposed in front of him. When he pulled off my bra, he sat me up to kiss me again burying his hands in my hair. He pushed it away from my scar and made his way down my neck. I sat very still waiting for him to open his eyes, excited at what his reaction might be.

I felt him kiss the skin from my ear to my lower neck, and then I felt the tip of his tongue trace my scar causing me to shiver slightly at the sensation. I felt him still briefly before pulling away. "Shit, Steph, what is that?" He asked while pushing my hair out of the way to get a better look.

"I wanted something to work around the scar, but not cover it up, so I went to see Ink. We talked about it for a while and he suggested a blooming vine to grow up the scar like a trellis. He showed me a bunch of different choices, but this is the one I liked the most." I explained.

"I don't recognize the blooms, their tiny. What is it?" He wondered running his fingers over the flowers coming off the greenery that was made to look like it was climbing my neck.

I blushed slightly as I said, "It's Honeysuckle."

"I love the name," He said kissing it again.

"According to Ink, every bloom has a little moisture that you can literally suck out of the bottom and it's sweet, like honey." I told him what I knew of the plant.

"Oh, yea, I think that suits you perfectly." Cal commented with his voice dropping an octave.

Clearly he was a fan of the new tattoo. It was light and very understated. Someone would need to know to look for it, but I liked the idea that if someone stared at me hard enough on the occasion I wore my hair up, there would be an unexpected surprise there. I no longer worried about the scar; I just considered the tat there to be an accessory like a pair of earrings, a little sparkle to make me feel pretty.

I considered myself a very lucky woman as Cal spent the next three hours showing his appreciation for my new ink and my greeting in the garage. Although he wasn't opposed to a quickie when our shifts occasionally didn't sync, Cal was all about quality and quantity. He liked to take his time and do things thoroughly. I'll admit it was one of my favorite things about his personality, especially since it meant I was the recipient of his generously given attention.

Laying in bed trying to give my muscles a chance to recuperate, Cal was drawing little designs on my back with his fingers. I let out a contented sign and his chest shook with a silent laugh.

"I love your sounds, Angel. I think I missed them the most." He explained when I lifted my head to glare at him.

His quick explanation diffused my temper before it had a chance to build so I smiled instead. "I'm not sure I could pick just one thing I missed about you."

"You know, being with you like this has to be my favorite way to spend an afternoon. Since we've been together, coming back to RangeMan has finally felt like coming home." He said with his voice sounding more serious.

"I know what you mean, this apartment, and all we share in it together makes it home for me too." I confessed.

The, he got up causing me to lose my favorite resting place and walked into the den. I heard him open the fridge and come back with a couple bottles of water, tossing one to me which I uncapped and drank from eagerly.

He waited for me to sit the bottle down and then he sat down in front of me on the bed. "Steph, this isn't how I had this planned, but I can't wait anymore. Every time I come home to you I realize how much I need you. You come flying into my arms and I feel complete for the first time since I left. I know your past with other guys hasn't been easy and they have hurt you in so many ways, but I'm not like the ones who came before me."

I had to agree with that statement. From the way he looked at me, to the consistent way he made choices with my needs in mind, I had to admit that his actions proved his words when he told me how he felt.

Then Cal grabbed my left hand and began to stroke my fingers lightly with his own. "You are my Angel, and a lifetime isn't long enough for me to show you how much I love you, but it's all I have to offer. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Then he pulled a black velvet box from his palm and opened it to display a simple diamond solitaire while saying, "Will you marry me?"

I threw my hands to his head gripping his hair between my fingers and kissed him fiercely. He returned my enthusiasm with his own before pulling back to take the ring out of the box. He tossed the box and put the band right at the end of my left hand's ring finger, but was hesitated to ask, "Was that a yes?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "That was a definite, absolutely, whole-hearted, I love you, yes!" I explained.

With that cleared up, Cal slipped the ring on my finger and brought me to lay on top of him in order for us to seal our engagement.

The next time we came up for air Cal asked if I wanted to tell anybody our news today, or just wait and let it trickle out as people discovered it on their own.

"Does Gamma know?" I asked thinking she should be the first one we told.

"I called her yesterday to let her know I planned on asking you this weekend, but she doesn't know you said yes." He explained. "Oh, and your parent's know I was going to ask you too."

"Why?" I asked. My relationship with my mother had definitely gotten better over the last twelve months. She had managed to apologize for the horrible things she'd said to me after I shot Joe, but we were still not as close as we once had been. I decided I no longer cared what she thought of me, and somehow with that new found freedom it was easier to be around them. We made it to dinner at their house a couple of times a month, and other than the occasional phone call to check in, we didn't talk much.

"I wanted to do this right, so I spoke to your dad. He told your mom who also wanted me to know how happy she was to hear about the possibility of us getting engaged." He explained.

"Maybe she thinks if we get married, you'll relax and not jump on her anytime she says something critical over dinner." I said back, laughing to myself at my mother's expression every time Cal pointed out when she was being harsh to me. He may be a gentle man, and a generous lover, but beneath that exterior beat the heart of a fierce warrior and he considered protecting me to be his top priority no matter the cost. Rarely did someone even get to sneeze in my direction without Cal calling them on it.

"So my parents know and Gamma. Anybody else?" I wondered just how many people were in on the secret before he told me.

"Well, I told Ranger on the trip back and a few of the guys may have overheard." He said quietly.

I sat up straight to see his face for the next question. "Why did you tell Ranger?"

"You know how he gets about you. I mean, he's been really accepting about the two of us because you have been so happy, but down deep I think he has been waiting for me to screw up somehow so that he could come in and sweep you away. I wanted him to know that I intended to make you mine forever so he could let go of any lingering hope he might be holding onto and be happy for you when you told him." He explained.

Ranger and I had lunch together at least twice a week. I found after he learned about Cal and I, that he was able to be happy for us and the friendship that meant so much to me only grew stronger instead of disappearing like I had feared. I think his respect for Cal allowed him to relax knowing I was being well taken care of. But, we were in close contact regularly enough for Ranger to know if anything ever happened. I liked to think it was because he was concerned about me as a friend, but I had a feeling Cal was right and it was more to be able to step in and save the day if Cal ever gave him an opportunity.

"Yea, that was probably a good idea." I admitted after thinking it through.

"So, how about we get dressed and see if Gamma wants to have dinner with us? We can tell the guys on our way out, tell her over dinner, and then swing by my parent's house either for a second dessert or sometime later this week if it gets to be too late." I proposed.

Cal pulled me off the bed and threw me over his shoulder causing me to scream at the unexpected movement. "I think it's a great idea once we've had a shower." He said depositing me under the warm spray.

I was trying to tame my hair which seemed to have a mind of its own when Cal stepped behind me to ask what was wrong. After patiently listening to me complain he said, "Wear it up, then everyone can see your honeysuckle." There was a naughty wag of his eyebrows when he said the last part, but I figured I had no choice, so I began to pull it back in a low ponytail.

When we got up to the fifth floor Bobby was back at the monitors next to Junior. "Thanks for covering for me this morning," I told him while putting my hand on the control panel. Bobby looked down and saw the diamond before he jumped up and pulled me to him for a hug. When he sat me down, he picked up the intercom and virtually yelled into it, "Bomber said yes! We're going to have a RangeMan wedding!"

At that announcement the guys came poring over to offer congratulations, hugs and even a wet kiss from Lester. It was Les that first saw the vine on my neck and ran his finger over it. Cal noticed and stepped closer but I took his hand to keep him calm in order to protect Les.

"Where's Vince?" Lester called out.

"I'm over here," Came Vince's reply as he came over to join the group. "Don't get any closer without holding on to something. Beautiful has a new piece of art on her and I'll bet this one will knock you over for sure."

I couldn't help but laugh at how Les teased Vince. The poor guy would never live down falling off his treadmill. I didn't realize it at the time, but Vince was really into tattoos. He only had a couple a year ago, because he was still in the military, but when his contract was up six months ago, it seemed a new one had appeared on him almost monthly. He certainly wasn't shy about expressing his appreciation of mine when Cal wasn't around.

Vince got closer and looked at the white flowers and then said, "Wow! It's…pretty and…" Vince was at a loss for words and leaned against the desk in the control room trying to come up with a description that Cal wouldn't shoot him for.

Finally Cal came to the rescue of his friend and finished his thought for him. "Hell, man, you can say it. It's sexy as hell. Just don't forget that despite how hot it is, it's on my woman." He said drawing me to him for a kiss in front of the guys. The calls and whistles interrupted us before we lost track of where we were.

While we were riding to Gamma's house I was surprised at how happy I felt. Before I married Dickie I was nervous, anxious, and worried. I felt none of that with Cal. With him I was at peace and content – I was at home. Over a year ago my world was turned upside down when a man I trusted betrayed me and hurt me. I allowed that incident to take away my self-worth and I hid from the world and from my friends. Beginning with a harmless anonymous phone call, I began to open up again and learn what it means to trust someone who is worthy of that honor.

I had no doubts about what the future with Cal would hold. We fought, like all couples do, but we held hands through it. I think it's to keep me from reverting into old habits and letting the Italian side of my temper loose, but Cal says it's to remind him that even when he's upset, he still loves me and holds me above all other things. Whatever the reason, as long as we're touching, our tempers don't tend to flare, and before we realize it we've worked out whatever it was that had us upset to begin with.

The guys never gave up on me, Mac helped to direct me, Gamma nurtured me, but most of all it was Cal's love that turned my shame of the scars Joe's actions had caused into pride of who I was and what I could do. Sure, I was still impulsive, and still got in situations way over my head, but I no longer lived in fear that I would be judged and rejected because of it. The marks that were meant to beat me down became the catalysts for my healing and ultimately made me stronger.

Now it appears I have a wedding to plan, and a life ahead of me that I get to share with the man I love. I looked over to him as he drove and saw he had that contended, peaceful expression I loved so much.

I assume our life together will be adventurous and colorful. But, whatever it holds I have no doubts that we will face it together, and when the big things come up that we need to celebrate, I have a feeling some new pieces of art may adorn, not our walls, but our bodies. Personally I can't wait to explore Cal and find them.

**The End!**

_A/N: I can't believe this story is done. I felt like we were just getting to know Cal and now his time front and center is over. I can't thank you all enough for your encouragement and reviews. Those of you who took the time to tell me specifically what you liked in each chapter made the process of writing this story so much more fun. I'll have a new story for us to go through together soon, but for now know that your kind words kept me typing and I so appreciate all your support. ~Jennifer_


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